# 


IMAGE  EVALUATION 
TEST  TARGET  (MT-3) 


1.0 


I.I 


11.25 


^0    12.0 


12.2 


Hi  HI 

Ui       i{ 
U 


1.4 


1.6 


P^ 


<^ 


/} 


O^js, 


^. 


v 


7 


^ 


Photographic 

Sciences 

Corporation 


33  WltT  MAIN  STRUT 

WHSTIR.N.Y,  MSIO 

(716)173-4903 


4j 


CIHM/ICMH 

Microfiche 

Series. 


CIHM/ICMH 
Collection  de 
microfiches. 


Canadian  Institute  for  Historical  Microreproductions  /  Institut  Canadian  de  microreproductions  historiques 


Technical  and  Bibliographic  Notes/Notes  techniques  et  bibliographiques 


1 

ti 


The  Institute  has  attempted  to  obtain  the  best 
original  copy  available  for  filming.  Features  of  this 
copy  which  may  be  bibliographically  unique, 
which  may  alter  any  of  the  images  in  the 
reproduction,  or  which  may  significantly  change 
the  usual  method  of  filming,  are  checked  below. 


D 


D 


Coloured  covers/ 
Couverture  de  couleur 


I      I    Covers  damaged/ 


Couverture  endommagie 

Covers  restored  and/or  laminated/ 
Couverture  restaur^e  et/ou  pellicul6e 

Cover  title  missing/ 

Le  titre  de  couverture  manque 

Coloured  maps/ 

Cartes  gdographiques  en  couleur 


□    Coloured  ink  (i.e.  other  than  blue  or  black)/ 
Encre  de  couleur  (i.e.  autre  que  bleue  ou  noire) 

□    Coloured  plates  and/or  illustrations/ 
Planches  et/ou  illustrations  en  couleur 


□    Bound  with  other  material/ 
Reli6  avec  d'autres  documents 


D 


Tight  binding  may  cause  shadows  or  distortion 
along  interior  margin/ 

La  re  liure  serrde  peut  causer  de  I'ombre  ou  de  la 
distortion  le  long  de  la  marge  int^rieure 

Blank  leaves  added  during  restoration  may 
appear  within  the  text.  Whenever  possible,  these 
have  been  omitted  from  filming/ 
II  be  peut  que  certaines  pages  blanches  ajout^es 
lors  d'une  restauration  apparalssent  dans  le  texte, 
mais,  lorsque  cela  itait  possible,  ces  pages  n'ont 
pas  4tA  film^es. 

Additional  comments:/ 
dommentaires  supplimentaires; 


L'institut  a  microfilm^  le  meilleur  exemplaire 
qu'il  lui  a  6t6  possible  de  se  procurer.  Les  details 
de  cet  exemplaire  qui  sont  peut-dtre  uniques  du 
point  de  vue  bibliographique,  qui  peuvent  modifier 
une  image  reproduite,  ou  qui  peuvent  exiger  une 
modification  dans  la  mdthode  normale  de  filmage 
sont  indiquis  ci-dessous. 

□    Coloured  pages/ 
Pages  de  couleur 

□    Pages  damaged/ 
Pages  endommag^es 

I      I    Pages  restored  and/or  laminated/ 


D 


Page&  restaurdes  et/ou  pellicul6es 

Pages  discoloured,  stained  or  foxe< 
Pages  d6color6es,  tachetf§es  ou  piqu^es 

Pages  detached/ 
Pages  ddtachdes 

Showthrough/ 
Transparence 

Quality  of  prir 

Quality  in^gale  de  I'impression 

Includes  supplementary  materi{ 
Comprend  du  materiel  suppl^mentaire 

Only  edition  available/ 
Seule  Edition  disponible 


r^  Pages  discoloured,  stained  or  foxed/ 

I      I  Pages  detached/ 

rri  Showthrough/ 

I      I  Quality  of  print  varies/ 

I      I  Includes  supplementary  material/ 

I      I  Only  edition  available/ 


Pages  wholly  or  partially  obscured  by  errata 
slips,  tissues,  etc.,  have  been  refilmed  to 
ensure  the  best  possible  image/ 
Les  pages  totalement  ou  partiellement 
obscurcies  par  un  feuillet  d'errata,  une  pelure, 
etc.,  ont  M  film^es  A  nouveau  de  fapon  A 
obtenir  la  meilleure  image  possible. 


C 

fa 

tl 
s 
a 
fi 
s 
a 


T 
s 
T 

V 

^ 

d 

e 
b 
rl 
r( 
n 


This  item  Is  filmed  at  the  reduction  ratio  checked  below/ 

Ce  document  est  film«  au  taux  de  reduction  indiqu*  ci-dessous. 

10X  14X  18X  22X 


12X 


jL 


16X 


20X 


26X 


30X 


24X 


28X 


3 


32X 


tails 
du 

idifier 
une 
nage 


The  copy  filmed  here  has  been  reproduced  thanks 
to  the  generosity  of: 

D.  B.  W«1don  Library 
University  of  Western  Ontario 

The  images  appearing  here  are  the  best  quality 
possible  considering  the  condition  and  legibility 
of  the  original  copy  and  in  keeping  with  the 
filming  contract  specifications. 


Original  copies  in  printed  paper  covers  are  filmed 
beginning  with  the  front  cover  and  ending  on 
the  last  page  with  a  printed  or  illustrated  impres- 
sion, or  the  back  cover  when  appropriate.  All 
other  original  copies  are  filmed  beginning  on  the 
first  page  with  a  printed  or  illustrated  impres- 
sion, and  enoling  on  the  last  page  with  a  printed 
or  illustrated  impression. 


The  last  recorded  frame  on  each  microfiche 
shall  contain  the  symbol  -^  (meaning  "CON- 
TINUED"), or  the  symbol  V  (meaning  "END"), 
whichever  applies. 


L'exemplaire  fiimi  fut  reprodult  grfice  d  la 
g6n6rosit6  de: 

D.  B.WeMon  Library 
University  of  Western  Ontario 

Les  images  sulvantes  ont  6t6  reproduites  avec  le 
plus  grand  soin,  compte  tenu  de  la  condition  et 
de  la  nettetd  de  I'exemplairu  film6,  et  en 
conformity  avec  les  conditions  du  contrat  de 
filmage. 

Les  exemplairas  originaux  dont  la  couverture  en 
papier  est  imprimde  sont  filmds  en  commen^ant 
par  le  premier  plat  et  en  termmant  soit  par  la 
dernidre  page  qui  comporte  une  empreinte 
d'impression  ou  d'illustration,  soit  par  le  second 
plat,  salon  le  cas.  Tous  les  autres  exemplaires 
originaux  sont  filmds  en  commengant  par  la 
premidre  page  qui  comporte  une  empreinte 
d'impression  ou  d'illustration  et  en  terminant  par 
la  dernidre  page  qui  comporte  une  telle 
empreinte. 

Un  des  symboies  suivants  apparaltra  sur  la 
dernidre  image  de  cheque  microfiche,  selon  le 
cas:  le  symbole  — »>  signifie  "A  SUIVRE",  le 
symbols  V  signifie  "FIN". 


Maps,  plates,  charts,  etc.,  may  be  filmed  at 
different  reduction  ratios.  Those  too  large  to  be 
entirely  included  in  one  exposure  are  filmed 
beginning  in  the  upper  left  hand  corner,  left  to 
right  and  top  to  bottom,  as  many  frames  as 
required.  The  following  diagrams  illustrate  the 
method: 


Les  cartes,  planches,  tableaux,  etc.,  peuvent  dtre 
film^s  A  des  taux  de  reduction  diff^rents. 
Lorsque  le  document  est  trop  grand  pour  dtre 
reproduit  en  un  seul  clich6,  il  est  filmd  d  partir 
de  Tangle  supdrieur  gauche,  de  gauche  d  droite, 
et  de  haut  en  bas,  en  prenant  le  nombre 
d'images  ndcessaire.  Les  diagrammes  suivants 
illustrent  la  mdthode. 


rata 

0 


lelure, 


3 


32X 


1 

2 

3 

t 

2 

3 

4 

5 

6 

i 


(♦ 


1 


'\  \ 


/ 


1 


THE 


ODD    MAN 


AND 


HIS    ODDITIES 


PV 


REV.  W.  H.  POOLE,  LL.  D. 


\ 


AUTHOn  OK 

'*  KII'E    OUAl'KS;    OR    THK    PUUITS    OK    THE    gPIRIT." 
"TlIK   NATURE,   CAUSES   AND    CURES    OK    ANfJER." 
"THE    GIKT   OK  THE   HOI.Y   GHOST   AND   HOW   OBTAINED.' 
'■  HISTORY   THE   TRUK   KEY   TO   PROIMIECY." 
"NINE  LECTUES  ON    ANOLO-ISRAEIi,"    AND 
"THE  SECOND  COMING   OK  CHKIST." 


"O  that  among  us  there  might  be 
A  duty  on  hypocrisy! 
A  tiix  (m  humbugs;  an  «^xciso 
On  sokmn  plausibilities; 
A  stamp  cm  everything  that  <!ante«l ! 
No  millions  more,  if  these  were  granted, 
llenceforwanl  would  be  raised  or  wanttil." 


DETROIT : 

VRK88  OK  DETROIT  I'UULIBHING  CO. 
1691. 


^       41 


'\  • 


Co|)yri«lite(»  April  24tli.  18',)1, 

KY    UKV.    W.    I'Uni.K,    1. 1..  1). 


11 5Z 


THE  ODD  MAN  AND  HIS  ODDITIES. 


C'lIAlTKK   I. 


In  attempting"  to  interest  my  readers  on  a  tlieme 
"like  mine,  I  eoni'ess  to  some  embarrassment  owinu:  to 
tiie  length,  hreadtli,  and  dei)tli  of  the  subjeet,  when 
compared  to  the  time  and  spa(H'  at  my  disposal.  One 
of  Knglamrs  great  preachers  said,  that  the  first 
element  in  a  great  [>rea('her  was  condensation,  the 
second  element  was  condensation,  and  the  third 
was  condensation.  In  the  act  ol"  condensation  a 
writer,  or  speaker  oi'ten  exposes  himself  to  the  charge 
of  oidy  half  illustrating  his  subject:  Well,  be  it  so, 
in  this  age  of  jnish  and  progress  most  of  our  readers 
will  |)ardon  brevity. 

In  addressijig  you  on  ]Man,  I  do  not  propose  to 
treat  of  him  in  the  various  and  diversitied  national- 
ities, races  and  conditions  ol'  Ixung  which  are  suggestive 
of  the  theory  of  Darwin  and  Huxley,  in  their  progress- 
ive developments  of  mind  and  of  muscle  from  the 
luollusk  to  the  ape,  and  from  the  monkey  to  educated 
and  cultured  man.  Nor  do  I  propose  to  dwell  on  his 
Htature,  si/.e,  weight,  color,  or  on  his  tastes,  affinities, 
jtassions,  habits,  or  dispositions.  Nor  on  his  vast  and 
varied  intellectual  endowments,  powers,  capacities  and 
achievements.  Nor  on  his  relation  as  father,  mother, 
liusband,  brother,  or  bachelor.  I  think  of  publishing 
an  essay  on  l>achelorfl  in  general,  and  old  bachelors  in 


THK    ODD     >[A.\     AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


]tar*icul:ir.  'l'l»oy  are  getting  to  be  a  very  important 
class  in  ooniniuuity  and  far  too  numerous.  If  tliey 
would  pay  more  attention  to  the  ladies,  they  would 
be  much  more  frequently  the  subjeet  of  conversation 
amon^    aw  aunts,  mothers,  and  maidi'iis. 

I  ]>r(>pose,  especially  to  consider  man's  tempera- 
ment, or  constitution  in  some  of  its  many  varieties  and 
]>eculiarities.  'Chese  varieties  an<l  ])e(*uliariti('s,  with 
the  dilferences  of  tem|)eranu'iil.  and  of  constitution, 
mentally,  an<l  physically,  go  to  form  the  oddities  and 
eccentricities  of  human  kind.  'I'he  pecidiar  tempera- 
ments and  dispositions  of  men,  were,  by  tlu^  ancients 
supposed  to  depend  largely  u[)on  the  mixture  of  three 
fluids,  or  humors  of  the  body,  viz.  Tlie  blood,  tiie 
lymph,  and  the  bile. 

It  is  an  oI<l  saying  that  it  takes  all  sorts  of  people 
to  make  a  world,  this  papei'  may  fend  to  prove  the 
truth  of  this  time  honored  proverb,  and  to  show  that 
such  odd  8pec^im(!ns  of  our  race  is  an  ari'angement  of 
an  all-wise  and  benelicient  providcix-e. 

Xo  one,  at  all  conversant,  with  men  oi-  things  will 

fail  to  see,  that  community  is  made  uj)  of  t'vi'ry  (!on- 

(ieivable  sort,  kind  and  caste,  of  every  possible  shade, 

tint    an<l    compK'xion,  of   i^tuy    ti'm|)ei',  dis|>osition, 

taste  and  aptitude,  of  every  grade  and  condition   in 

life,  and  that,  with  all   this  variety  there  is,   hen;   in 

Amc^'ica  a  pla(H'  for  everyone,  and  a  duty  for  eatdi 

that  he  may  )»erform  with  pleasure  and  profit  to  him- 

s(df,  and  also  to  the  advantage  of  all   th(»se  around 

him. 

It   is  of  the  greatest   importance    to  community 

that  every  man  in  society  should  lind  his  own  ap- 
propriate place  ;   and  that,  having  his  place   whether 


rHK    ()l)l>     NfAX    AM)    ins    OUKII'IKS. 


})resi(leiit,  or  premier,  jrovenior,  or  piii-maker,  lie 
should  iaithrully  and  lionorably  diseharoe  his  duty 
ihere,  aud  that  he  shouhl  leel,  that,  with  a  sense  of 
<luty  faithfully  dischari^ed,  theiv  is  always  a  meas- 
ure of  deliii^ht. 

'The  hal)it  of  reali//mi»"  the  importance  of  duty,  under 
all  cir(Mimstanees,  is  one  that  may  he  accpiired  in 
early  hoyhood,  and  even  in  boyhood,  ic  is  always 
sure  to  meet  its  reward.  This  point,  may  lie  illus- 
trated by  the  followinsjj  iiicidiMit  which  took  place 
on  a!i  Kiiixlisji  farm.  In  haymakiny-  time,  the  farmer 
found  it  necessary  to  assit>;n  to  his  little  boy,  a  lad  of 
twelve  summers,  the  otHce  ol"  L?ate  keeper,  lie  was 
to  open  the  i^ate  as  the  load  of  hay  approached  the 
i>ate,  cl()sin<r  it  when  the  team  had  passed  throui>;h. 
The  lad  well  underst(jo<l  the  duties  of  his  oHice,  and 
between  times,  he  amused  himself  reading'  of  wars 
and  victories.  Suddenly,  lie  heard  an  unexpe(tted 
call,  so  loud  and  commanding-  as  to  startle  him. 
"  Hello  !  my  lad,  open  the  gate,  o|>en  the  gate." 
The  order  came  from  an  advaucied  huntsman  who  was 
followed  by  a  lai'ge  company  of  fox  hunters  :  among 
them  was  the  Duke  of  Wi'Uington.  "  Open  the  gate, 
tny  Itoy,  here  (M)mea  the  lords  and  ladies  I"  The  lad 
promptly  responded.  "No,  sir,  mv  father  told  me, 
sir,  to  keep  the  gate  shut.'"  "  Hut  here  comes  the 
Didvc  of  Wellington,  o]>en  the  gate."  "My  father  told 
me,  sir,  to  keep  the  gate  shut,  ami  I'll  kei'p  it  shut, 
you  nuiy  depend  on't."  In  i\  mom<Mit  the  Iron  Duke 
and  the  whole  company  were  at  the  gate,  anxious  to 
take  a  short  route  and  meet  the  fox  and  hounds  away 
beyond.  The  duke  kindly  asked,  "what  is  the  mat- 
ter?" and  was  promptly    informecl    "the    boy    won't 


I 


TIIK    ODn     MAX     AND    IIIS    01>I)1TI  ICS. 


Open  the  ufate,  sir."  There  sat  tlie  bov  in  conscious 
security,  in  loving  obedience  doing  his  duty.  "  Why 
4on't  you  open  the  gate,  my  son  ?"  said  the  duke. 
*'  liecause,  sir,  my  father  told  me  to  keep  the  gate 
slnit,  and  I'm  going  to  <lo  it."  The  duke,  as  if  en- 
tirely forLjetful  of  the  fox  and  the  hounds,  took  from 
his  pocket  a  gold  sovereign,  and  handed  it  to  the  boy, 
saying  :  "  Take  this,  my  boy,  as  a  reward  for  doing 
your  duty,  and  obeying  your  father."  'I'hen,  turning 
to  lords  and  la<lies  he  said,  '•  we  must  go  round  some 
other  Avay.  The  boy  eyed  the  ))iece  of  gold,  turning 
it  over,  and  over  in  his  hand.  At  a  favorable  mo- 
ment he  was  seen  bounding  over  the  daisies  to  liis 
mother,  saying  as  he  entered  his  cottage  home  : 
■•'  Motliei',  mother,  see  this  ;  I  did  to-day  what  liomi- 
parte  could  not  do,  I  .stopi)ed  the  Dukecd"  Welling- 
ton." 

One  of  our  poets  said,  when  sjteakingof  dividing 
the  human  family  into  pairs,  that 

"Each  spirit  its  own  twin  spirit  liiitli. 
In  joy,  or  woe  to  hciU'  its  pai't.'' 

It  is  a  fac^t,  however,  that  for  some  reason  or  other, 
<'ourtship  with  a  great  many  men  has  not  been  a  suc- 
cess. The  unfortunate  ones  never  found  "  their  twin 
spirit,  their  better  lialf." 

Xext  in  importance  to  a  man's  finding  Ins  other 
.self  it  Is  important  that  he  should  Hnd  his  propei* 
sphere  of  action.  That  orbit  in  which  he  can  s  dely, 
se(!urely  and  successfully  move.  No  man  can  aflPord 
to  trifle  with  himself  or  with  the  claims  which  society 
has  upon  him.  All  the  callings  and  positions  of  life, 
are  but  links  in  the  same  great  chain  of  being,  and 


flF 


.MK\    I)II'1'K1{. 


5 


"From  ii.ilurc's  cliMiii,  Avhahivcr  link  vou  stiikc, 
Tenth,  or  tcii-tlioiisaiKltli,  breaks  tlic  cliaiii  alike." 

MEN    niFKKK, 

and  it  is  well  that  they  <lo,  and  thoui^li  the  i>eculiari- 
ties  of  character  are  easily  recognized,  they  are  not 
so  easily  defined,  nor  so  easily  classified,  so  that,  to 
save  words,  and  time,  which  is  much  more  vahiable 
than  words,  also  to  aid  your  memory,  we  will  find  in 
nature,  and  in  art  something  to  which  we  will  com- 
pare those  o(hl  specimens  of  our  race.  A\'e  have  very 
hiijli  ftutlioritv  for  the  use  of  symbols.  Thev  do 
speak  to  the  eye,  and  to  the  mind  at  the  same  time. 

"  Symbols,"  says  Muller,  "  are  evidently  coeva'i 
with  the  human  race  ;  they  restdt  from  the  union  of 
the  soul  with  body  in  man.  Nature  has  implanted 
the  feelinif  for  them  in  the  human  heart."  I>ut  svm- 
holism  is  not  only  the  most  natural,  and  most  general^ 
it  is  also  the  most  practically  usefid  of  ihe  sciences, 
(xod  himself,  knowing  the  nature  of  the  creatures 
foi'med  by  him,  has  condescended,  iji  the  earlier  rev- 
elations of  himself,  to  teach  by  s^'mbols.  An<l  the 
greatest  of  all  teachers  taught  the  multitude  by  par- 
ables ;  "and  without  a  ]>arable,  or  symbol  spake  lie 
not  unto  them."  l<\-iber  says,  "  heiu-e  the  language 
of  .symbolism,  being  so  purely  a  language  of  ideas,  is, 
in  one  respect,  more  perfect  than  any  ordinary  lan- 
guage can  be  ;  it  possesses  the  vai'iegated  I'legance  of 
synonyms  without  any  of  the  obscurity  which  arises 
from  the  use  of  ambiguous  terms. 

I»en  Jonson  asks  :  • 

'■  Was  IK  it  all  the  kii(»\vle(lg'(! 

(H'the  I\uyptians  w  I'it  in  inyslie  syml)(ils  V 


6 


Till-:    ODD     MAN     AM)    HIS    ODDITIES, 


Speak  not  tlic  S(  ri|)1iir<'s  ot't   in  pariiblcs  ? 

Arc  not  the  choicest  fables  of  the    poets 

'I'hat  were  tiie  fountains  and  first  sprinys  of  wisdom. 

AV  rapped  in  perplexed  alleiiories  v" 

I  tiiid  ill  all  the  dopartiiipnts  of  home  life,  of 
cluircli  life,  and  of  national  life. 

rin;  iron   :\[an, 

Finn,  resolute,  detennined,  stroiiuj  'f  purpose, 
and  hard  and  iinbendiiiL!;  as  a  piece  of  iron,  whether 
right  or  vvroiii>'  in  his  beliefs,  or  his  opinions,  you  may 
liammer  at  him  as  long  as  you  please,  you  make  but 
a  very  slight  impression  upon  him  if  he  only  keeps 
<!0<)1.  Ill  all  his  convictions,  in  all  his  pur|)OHes,  and 
resolves,  he  is  as  firm,  and  as  unbending  as  a  piece  of 
iron. 

To  secure  his  co-operation,  or  to  employ  his  influ- 
ence, in  matters  of  church,  or  of  state,  vou  must  warm 


Hin   III): 


an 


d  wl 


len 


full 


V   vvarmei 


1,  hi 


s   energies  an< 


powers  of  Viody,  mind,  or  estate  may  be  easily  bent, 
and  enlisted  in  any  of  the  great  social,  moral,  and 
religious  i-nterprises  of  the  day.     Warm  him  up^  and 


lis  coiintrv,  or  iiis  < 


hun;! 


I,  never  ( 


alls  1 


um  in  vain. 


In  all  the  works  of  benevolence  ai'.d  charity  you  may 
fire  his  [>hilantliroj)y.  In  all  (piestions  of  national 
honor  and  civil  government,  you  may  kiiulle  his 
patriotism.  In  the  wider  fields  of  religion,  of  consci- 
ence, and  in  the  work  of  (xod;  you  may  warm  his 
heart  and  touch  his  lips  with  tlu'  sacred  tire  for  con- 
secrated altars;  and  when  fully  tired  with  zeal  for  his 
country,  his  church  or  his  (tod,  we  have  a  tine  s])eci- 
men  of  a  manly  man;  a  man  that  is  strong  to  do,  and 


ti 


MEN'    OF   STEKL.  7 

willing?  to  endure,  or  to  dare  in  that  cause  that  has 
won  his  affections  and  his  sympathies. 

This  man  of  iron  nature,  may,  to  some  peopk', 
seem  cold,  stern,  rigid,  frigid  and  unattractive,  but 
engage  his  tenacity  and  firmness  on  the  right  side, 
and  you  have  a  man  capable  of  receiving  and  retain- 
ing the  mould  and  stamp  of  manhood's  higliest  impress. 
Upon  him  yon  may  suspend  the  interests  of  a  nation, 
knowing  that  no  influence  from  faction,  or  from  party, 
from  court,  cabal,  king,  or  president,  can  make  him 
swerve  from  duty  or,  betray  liis  trust.  This  hardy, 
firm,  intelligent,  industrious,  useful  class  of  men  can- 
not be  disj>ensed  witli.  We  might  as  well  undertake 
to  carry  on  our  mechanical  arts,  our  manufactories,  our 
steamboats  and  railway  enterprises  without  iron,  as 
to  do  the  work  of  home,  of  church  or  of  state  Avithout 
this  most  useful  class  of  men — 

MKN    OF    STKKI, 

come  next  in  order.  Those  persons  possess  all  tiie 
intrinsic  excellencies  and  valuable  (pialities  of  hard- 
ness, tenacity,  of  durability  and  usefulness  of  iron; 
and  many  niore,  for  tiiey  are  well  fitted  to  serve  pur- 
poses which  the  iron-men  do  not.  The  steel-men  are 
more  flexible,  more  elastic,  Tliey  have  the  same 
tenacity  and  firmness,  only,  more  refined  and  tem- 
pered; mad6  so  by  the  process  of  purification.  Thej'" 
are  more  pliable,  more  durable,  more  relial)le.  'I'hey 
are  ca})able  of  a  much  higher  j)oli8h  ;  they  receive  a 
much  sharper  edge  ;  they  have  keener  percei)tions, 
and  finer  sensibilities  ;  they  have  nerves  not  less  firm, 
resolutions  not  less  determined,  ))urposes  as  unshaken. 


II  ' 


IT 


8 


TIIK    ODD    >[.VN    AND    HIS    ODDITIES. 


'  ,\ 


\^ 


all  combined  with  properties  and  capabilities  the  iron 
men  liaAe  not. 

There  is  a  method  by  which  iron  may  be  sa 
changed,  tem])ered  and  pnritied  as  to  become  steel  : 
S(>  l)y  a  ))rocess  somewhat  similar,  our  iron  men  may 
be  made  more  valuable.  This  is  often  accomplished 
by  self-culture  and  ]>ersonal  improvements;  especially 
by  the  renewint;^  energy  and  ])Ower  of  truth  in  the 
inner  man  ;  so  that,  in  time,  they  become  refined, 
tempered  and  polished,  and  in  this  way,  they  be(!ome 
miu'h  more  valuable.     We  have,  here  too, 

OV\l  SILVEK    MEN, 

vci'v  useful  in  tlieir  way  at  times,  because  they  are 
capable  of  l)eing  ))ronu>ted  and  made  to  occupy  posi- 
tions in  society  which  renders  them  useful.  Silver  is 
of  little  intrinsic  value  in  itself.  Itcantiotat  all  com- 
pare in  real  worth  with  iron  (>'•  ^teel.  The  commer- 
cial woi'ld  has  given  it  imjjortaiue  by  agreeing  to  use 
it,  as  we  do  as  ii  matter  of  convenience,  and  for  ex- 
ternal (Mnbellishmcnt  ;  but  it  owes  its  value  t(  the 
gcjieral  consent  of  community,  and  it  may  at  any 
time  be  dispensed  with.  So  with  our  silvv-r  gentle- 
men, they  are  convenient,  and  useful,  and  often  orna- 
mental ;  but  not  like  our  iron  and  steel  men,  indis- 
'  ]iensable.  The  value  of  the  silver  imm  is  always  fic- 
titious, not  rt'al.  Like  silviu*  thev  arealwa\'s  liable  to 
a  heavy  discount,  'i'hcy  are  never  indepe?ident,  never 
relialtlc.  One  iron  man,  is,  to  coiiimunity,  worth  a 
(incore  of  those  silver  s|>i'cimens.  Our  silver  gentlemen 
M'ould  do  well  to  take  the  hint,  and  try  and  ur.der- 
stand  their  real  valiu',  and  their  true  relative  i)08i- 
tion,  for  they  may  be,   at  any  moment,  vote(l   out    oT 


!  ! 


w 


MKN    <)1'    GOLD. 


coiiiiuuiiity  ;  or  the  ladies'  riguts  association  inay 
lock  them  uj)  some  day  as  worn  out  specimens  of 
things  that  our  progressive  age  has  left  far  behind, 
as  has  been  done  with  our  grandmammas'  silver  can- 
dlesticks. Of  many  of  this  class  of  men,  we  may  safely 
say,  that  thuy  are  a  sham,  a  fraud,  or  something 
Avorse,  for  they  are  only  silver  coated,  silver  washed, 
silver  plated  gentU men.  In  some  instances  they  are 
alloys,  counterfeits,  hypocrites,  'rhey  are  not  even 
good  white  metal,  they  shine  on  the  outside,  make 
very  tliu'  pi'omises,  often  make  loud  and  long  pro- 
fessions, and  by  these  Iriiiks  and  stratageins  they  de- 
ceive ma?iy  a  fair  one:  who,  after  a  very  short  ac- 
(puiintance  find  out  theii'  real  character.  'I'he  silver 
coating  rubbed  otf,  and  it  was  easily  seen  that  they 
were  of  baser  nu'tal.     Our  valuable 

.MEN     OF  CiOlil) 

conu>  next,  pure  gold,  genuimi  metal,  sterling  coin. 
In  all  the  world's  great  emporiums  of  trade  they  com- 
uumd  position,  wealth,  honor  and  influence,  and  they 
kn(»w  full  well  how  to  use  them  for  the  good  of  all 
classes  of  community.  They  are  an  honest,  trust- 
worthy r;u'c  of  nuMi,  always  humble,  upright,  intelli- 
gent, pure  minded,  ^b'U  of  noble  birth  and  of  royal 
blood,  for  they  live  anH)ng  sovereigns,  ami  soar 
among  c:igles.  These  men  ;ire  the  pure  gold  of  the 
earth,  though  like  gold,  veiy  valuable  aiul  in  great 
dennind,  yet  like  gold,  they  are  very  scarce.  Our 
d"ar  young  ladies  should  always  distinguish  between 
(Mir  gold  nu'ii  and  gold-fringed  men,  gilt  men,  me?i  of 
glitter  ami  tinsel,  very  often  they  are  only  pinch-beck. 
All    tliose    bron/cfl     and    starched    up    specimens    ol 


.It 


w 


10 


THK    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIES. 


fashion  are  no  more  gold,  than  tliat  tlie  slightest 
possible  gilding  is  a  lump  of  gold.  Those  would-be 
gold  and  silv.'r  men  are  always,  in  all  communities 
below  par.  They  are  always  one  hundred  and  seventy- 
five  per  cent,  less  valuable  than  moonshine.  The 
next  on  my  record  are  our 

MKX    OF    TIN, 

men,  who,  when  well  siioured  and  polished,  make  ))i"e- 
tensions  of  l)eing  relatiMl  to  the  silver  family,  of  those 
thin-lijK'd,  sharp  featured  men,  physoignomists  say, 
that  they  are  not  very  close  mouthed,  nor  very  safe 
tongued.  riiat  they  are  alway-  sure  to  expose  your 
little  failings.  They  are  a  little  tart,  not  over  bur- 
dened with  the  milk  of  i»umaii  kindness.  They  are 
always  ])retentious,  not  a  little  contentious.  'I^hey 
are  not  reliable  or  trusty  men  either  in  council  or  in 
wai".  In  their  very  nature  they  are  a  bendible,  ding- 
able,  rustable,  crustable  sort  of  folk,  whose  lustres  is 
soon  tarnished.  ( )ui-  men  <>f  tin  are  easily  and  often 
tinkered  with,  and  ai'e  often  tingetl.  In  my  travels  I 
have  seen 

MI;N    (•!•    I, HAD. 

A  class  of  pci'soMs  that  I  can  liken  only  to  lead, 
heavy,  dull,  dark,  their  body,  brains,  arms,  and  limbs, 
mind  and  heart  are  made  up  of  the  same  dull,  eroi'ky, 
earthy,  muddy  substance.  With  them  there  is  no 
life,  no  spriglitlineHs,  no  animation,  no  elasticity,  no 
humor,  no  sparkling  wit.  Like  lead,  they  are  much 
given  to  inertia.  If  indeed  they  have  to  move  a 
little,  they  groan  and  yawn,  and  fret  and  sigh,  and 
stretch,  as  il"  all  the  laws  ol'  their  being  obligeil  them 
to  remain  as  thev  are. 


NICKI.K     IM.ATKl)    -MKN. 


11 


tlO 


In  our  ao-e  and  in  our   country    we    have    dcvcl- 
oi)ed  a 

NKJKLE    I'LATEI) 

olass  of  nuMi,  and  women  too.  This  is  peculiarly  an 
ao-e  of  nickle-plating.  We  see  this  art  in  our  found- 
ri">s,  as  in  our  schools  and  colle.n-es.  The  useful,  the 
])ractical,  and  the  substantial,  have  to  give  place  to 
the  ornamental,  the  fanciful  and  fashionable.  NN'e 
half  educate  lars^e  numbers  of  our  youth,  and  send 
them  out  on  community  at  a  great  expense,  with  a 
smattering  of  classics,  mathematics,  ethics  and  other 
tics,  covered  with  sheen  and  glare  ;  an  abundance  of 
ornamentation,  but  oh,  so  badly  fitted  forthe  practical 
<lnties  of  life  in  this  most  ]>ractical  age.  The  glitter, 
the  radiance  is  only  nickle-i.late,  mere  tinsel,  so  thin 
tluit  you  can  see  through  it. 

In' congress,  and  in  our  slate  iegislatiire   we  have 
some  gran<l  men,  true    as  steel    and    as  tine    as  gold, 
but  we  have,  others  of  whom  little  can  be  said  in  their 
praise.      Listen  to  many   of    the    speeches:    the    dead 
issues  of  the  past,  such  as  slavery,  the  war  <piestion, 
pensions,  railroads,  etc.     These  topics  have  done  good 
service  for  a  (piarter  .>f  a  century  in  our  i)olitical  cam- 
paigns,   and  on  our  national   festivals.      When  they 
were  live  issues    they   sparkled  and  gleamed  on  the 
platform  at.d  in  the    pulpit.     To-dav,  they  are   <mly 
buncomb,  nickle  plate,  while  the    live    issues  su.-h    as 
rivil  service  ref.uMu,  ecpial  rights    for  all,  capital    and 
labor,  prohibition,  punishment  of  wrong  doers,  are  left 
out  of  hearing  and  out  of  sight. 

NN'hen    we  see    a    cliurch    interesting    herself  in 
, ■reeds,  stiri)lices,  musi.-,    millimMy,  cushioned    pews, 


12 


THE    ODD    MAX    AND    HIS    WDDITIKS. 


'      I 


and  Sunday  toilets,  paying  court  to  wealth  and  fasli- 
ion  ;  in  life,  frivolous,  lieartless,  shallow,  self-indul- 
gent, alas  1  it  is  only  nickle  plate. 

STONE  MEX. 

Xearly  akin  are  our  men  of  stone.  Of  stone  we 
have  a  great  variety,  sand  stone,  quart/,,  limestone, 
lelspar,  granite,  etc.,  etc.,  so  of  this  class  of  meji  we 
have  a  great  variety.  All  course  in  nature  rough, 
cold  hearted,  hanl  faced,  gritty.  To  them,  culture 
and  retinement  are  naught.  i'hey  have  no  sympathy 
at  heart,  no  warmth  of  feeling,  no  tenderness  of  soul. 
As  I'old  as  a  stone,  and  as  "  hard  as  the  nether  mill- 
stone." 

IXDIAN  RUI{HEH   MEN. 

Next  come  our  Indian  ruUher  men.  No  firmiu'ss. 
no  stability,  no  priiu'iple,  all  elasticity.  A'ou  can 
twist  them  into  any  form  or  bend  tliem  into  any 
slia))c,  or  put  them  to  almost  any  ust*  you  please. 
They  are  so  nearly  related  to  old  Mr.  IMiable,  that 
they  can  never  b(M'harged  with  having  any  opinion 
of  their  own.  I'hey  can  be  of  any  opinion,  or  of  no 
•  •pinion  as  suits  the  timew.  In  politicks,  they  can  l>c 
on  any  side,  or  on  neither  side,  or  on  both  siiU's. 
They  can  be  Tories,  or  Whigs,  or  (Jrils,  Reformers, 
Kcpublicuns,  Democrats,  (Jrccid)ackcrs,  soft  money, 
or  hard  money  nu'U,  you  can  always  buy  them  for  ;i 
little  mone\'  of  anv  kind,  and  buy  them  1)ack  for  a 
few  pennies  more.  In  rcligioii  tluy  can  be  CalviniHts, 
or  Armenians,  close  (^mimunionists,  or  open  Conimun- 
iotiists,  hard  shell  or  soft  shell  r>a|)tists,  High  church. 
Low  (diiu'ch,  broad  church  or  no  church,  'I'hey  can 
be    <^)uakcrK,     Shakers,     or    Tiinkcrs,     I'i'esbylerians, 


I 


I 


.MEN     (»K    (II.ASS. 


13 


Methodists,  Cougregatioiialists  or  Mormons,  or  Roman 
(^atholics,  or  anything  or  nothing.  They  can  l)e  tem- 
perance men,  cohl  or  hot  water  mun,  or  wliisk}'  and 
brandy  puncii  men.  They  are  always  two-faced 
men.  In  nothing  are  tiiey  more  pliable  than  in  their 
consciences.  Oh,  how  elastic  I  How  i)liable  I  I'oor 
conscience.  Row  it  is  stretched  and  shrunk  to  meet 
the  occasion.  Such  men  ai'e  all  things  in  general 
and  nothing  in  particular.  An  old  Hebrew  proverb 
•^ays  of  such  men  :  "  They  can  run  with  the  hare  and 
bark  with  the  hounds." 

"  A.  iiici'ciliil  pi'ox  idt'iicc  torincil  lliciii  liollou 

On  purpose  tliiit  tlicy  luiulit  (heir  pi'iiiciplf  swnllow." 

'I'hose    professional    patriots    love  to    sing    with 
much   zenl  : 

"  My  coiuitry  'tis  ffom  llicc 
1  \nu<j:  to  iXi'\  M  I'cc, 
()\'  tliiil  1  siiiii. 
I*l;ic('  u»('  where  Congress  niei'l^, 
Where  I  e;iu  lind  tlie  sweets. 
•  ( )!•  ill  some  riiiLi'." 

In  contrast  again  are  our 

MEN     Ol'    (JLASS, 

<)|)en,  frank,  transparent  sort  ol' men.  Their  thoughts 
lie  on  the  outside,  you  can  read  them  throtigh  and 
through.  They  caimot  hide  anything  ;  they  can't 
keep  their  own  thoughts  ;  they  are  too  transparent. 
They  are  an  easy  going,  (juiet,  good  natured  folk; 
they  till  many  use'ul  positions  in  society  without 
craft,  design  or  disguise  ;  they  are  a  little  brittle, 
easily  hurt,  very  tender  in  their  feelings.  Tiiey  are 
poorly  titted   to  meet   the  rough    and  tumble  of  the 


jl_ 


III    II 

'  I  1    I 


u 


TIIK    ODD    MAX    AND    IHS    ODUITIK.S. 


11 


1 


1  ! 


I  t   I 


world,  or  to  stand  the  hail  storm  of  adversity.  One 
<^ood  crash  of  adversity  is  enoui^h  to  smash  them  into 
a  thonsand  pieces,  and  if  once  broken,  there  is  no  re- 
cuperative power  to  repair  them.  'IMiey  seem  rather 
designed  for  the  continue*!  sunshine  of  jtrosperity, 
than  for  the  cy<done  of  opposition.  We  too  have 
men  of 

UllASS, 

strange  compounds  I  llrass  is  acuiious  mixture,  it  is 
ni'itlier  one  tiling  nor  anotlier,  and  always  some  of 
both.  Those  gentlemen  claim  to  be  considered  as  a 
finer  metal.  Most  peo[»le  of  this  class  usually  put 
forth  their  ambitious  claims  with  so  much  elTrontery 
and  sell  conceit,  that  their  neighbors,  with  one  con- 
sent agree,  that  they  have  too  much  brass. 

OIK  i'KW'ri:i{    Mi:\ 

conu'  next  to  grei't  us.  Pewter  is  compound  of  lead 
and  tin.  Those  nu'U  are  haU'-andhalf  sort  of  thinufs. 
They  have  no  fixed  charactiT,  sonu'times  as  dull  as 
lead,  at  other  times  as  biting  and  as  rasping  as  the 
rough  edge  of  tin.  To  i>lease  such  men  is  nexl  to  the 
imitossible,  and  if  they  could  be  [ileased  for  .lu-e  it 
would  only  be  for  a  little  time;  ;  for  having  no  lixed 
priiu'iples  to  guide  them  or  to  govern  them,  they 
could  not  be  pleased  long  at  a  time,  either  with  them- 
iselveH,  or  with  anybody  cls<'.  I  know  an  unfortunate 
man  of  this  class,  he  gets  out  with  himself,  and  witli 
his  estimable  wife,  aiuj  out  with  his  |)astor,  and  often 
with  the  gate  post  ;  indeed,  he  gets  out  of  temper, 
and  out  all  over.  In  this  givat  country  of  ours  we 
have  1 


4 


MKROUKIAL    MKN. 


15 


One 

m  into 

no  re- 

rather 

(perity, 

liave 


IV.  it  is 
onie  ot" 
t'd  as  a 
illy  put 
lontoiy 
ne  coM- 


of  load 

thiiisjfs. 

fiiill  as 
;•  as  the 
cl  to  the 

.nee  it 
no  lived 
tn,  they 
Lh  theni- 
)rtiinate 
md  with 
nd  often 

temper, 
ours  we 


MERCURfAL     MEN, 

<|uick,  sliiny,  showy,  flashy,  rather  liery,  and  withai 
a  little  slijjpery.  Such  persons,  like  the  mercury  in 
our  thermometers,  are  greatly  infiueneed  by  the  sea- 
sons, the  weather,  the  atmospheric  changes,  the  mag- 
neti(!  inftuences,  the  winds  and  tides.  They  are  a 
kind  of  living  barometer,  as  useless  a  specimen  of  the 
race  as  can  well  be  com-eived  of  Only  for  the  name 
of  the  thing,  a  woman  would  be  far  better  without  a 
a  luisband,  than  be  tied  to  a  man  like  that.  On  a 
bright,  beautiful  moonlight  night,  such  men  are  al- 
ways on  hand  to  see  the  ladies  home,  or  to  accompany 
a  friend  ;  but  when  the  night  is  dark  and  stormy,  the 
mercury  falls  and  the  ladies  are  left  to  find  their  way 
home  as  best  they  can.  All  sensible  people  agree, 
that  such  bipeds  ought  Id  be  scarce.  In  my  line  of 
observation  1  lind 

MKN     Ol'    Cl'l  I'V, 

so  soft,  so  oily,  so  impressible,  that  they  are  influ- 
enced b\'  every  one  and  by  everything  they  meet. 
To  know  their  opinion  or  any  given  hour  of  the  day, 
in  politics,  education  or  '•eligion,  you  need  otdy  ascer- 
tain who,  or  what  party  had  the  last  interview  with 
them.  Their  views  of  men  or  things  are  formed, 
changed  and  shaped  by  one  class  of  agency  as  well 
as  another.  Having  no  opinion  of  theii'  own,  tlu'y 
can  at.  any  time  sulopt  the  opinions  of  others,  and 
most  generally  their  views  (M)incide  with  the  last  per- 
son, ov  last  party  man  with  whom  they  convervsed. 
The  conservative  canvasser  calls,  and  woos  and  wins 
iheir  promise  of  support,  and  he  stamps  the  man  with 


i 


'     1 

1 

i    , 
1  1 

( 

■  ) 

1 

1 
1 

m  ■ 

i  ■  I 

W 
n 


nl-i 


I    I  I 


i  !' 

1 1 


1 1 


16 


rilK    ODD     MAN     AND     HIS    ODDITIKS. 


the  trade  mark  of  liis  party.  Tlie  next  day,  or  next 
week,  tlie  reformer  t^oes  through  the  name  })rocess, 
and  with  about  the  same  results.  Who  the  putty 
man  votes  for  after  all,  depends  upon  the  party  wlio 
can  give  him  the  last  cigar,  or  the  last  glass  of  drink, 
oi-  the  largest  brihe,  and  a  free  ride  to  the  polls,  '^I'he 
man  of  putty  has  very  large  family  eonnections, 
<'.losely  related  is  a  kind  of  Avish-o- washy,  luunby- 
pamby,  linscv-woolsey,  milk  and  water,  sort  of  a 
biped,  an  0(hl  specimen  of  a  man,  very,  lie  is  little 
more  than  half  human,  a  large  ])art  animal,  and  some 
vegetable,  so  that  it  is  yet  an  opeii  (piestion,  whetlier 
the  botanist,  or  the  ))hy8iol(»gist  should  claim  liim. 

It  is  greatly  to  the  credit  of  our  American  civili- 
zation that  foppery  is  cvci-ywhere  disappearing. 
Kops,  by  whatt'vei"  Tiamc  we  c;il!  them,  beaux,  macai- 
ojiis,  sparks,  dandies,  loungers,  oi-  anything  elsi',  find 
little  favor  in  this  age.  To  ti-.u-e  from  age  to  age 
through  all  its  phases  of  development  the  history  of 
those  po))injays  of  fashion  is  a  task  for  the  satirist,  or 
historian.  To  study  the  grotesrjue  inspirations  (d' 
folly  as  illustrated  in  tlu'  careers  of  her  fantastic 
votaries  woidd  be  most  amusing.  There  are  but  few 
men  of  sense  among  us  who  would  iu)t  say  with 
Shakesjx'an;  in  the  Merc/inuf,  of  Venice,  "Let  not.  the 
sound  of  shallow  foppery  enter  uiy  sober  house," 
The  foppery  of  tlie  Kli/abethan  age  is  well  and  ac- 
curately illustrated  in  the  person  of  Osrick,  How 
pungently  does  Ilandet  satirize  the  waterfly  and  how 
amusingly  does  he  mimic  his  mincing  mode  of  speecli  ! 
In  Iliulibras  we  fiiul  mention  of  a  creature  known   as 


'  fopdoodle. 


(( 


h 


1 


ou  nave  neen  roatning,    says 


JUit- 


i 


ler, 


riTTY  mi;n. 


17 


)r  next 
rooA'ss, 
putty 

A'   wllO 

<lriiik. 


T\\ 


c'tions, 
lumiby- 
t    of  a 

s  littll! 
1(1   SOIIH' 

vlic'thor 
him. 
n  civili- 
leariiig. 
,  iiiacai- 
SL',    1iii«l 

to  a<;(' 
story  of 
tirist,  or 
tioiis  ol" 
fantastic 
but  few 
ay  with 
t  not,  tlu' 

liouse." 

and    ac- 

<.      How 

and  how 

s])eocli  ! 
nown  as 
lavs  liut- 


"  Wlii'ir  sturdy  l)utch(!rs  broke  3'()ur  noddk'. 
And  handled  you  like  a  I'opdoodk'." 

C'Ovent  Garden,  seems  to  have  been  tlie  favorite 
rendezvous  for  fops  in  the  time  of  Dryden.  He  says, 
"  that  farce  scribblers  make  use  of  tlie  noble  inven- 
tion of  lausifhter  to  entertain  citizens,  country  gentle- 
men, and  Covent  (rarden  fo))s."  Dr.  Johnson  des- 
cribes the  sparks  of  this  day  SiHlivel;/,  showy,  splendid 
(/ai/rneii,.  Tliey  were  of  respectal)le  antiquity,  hail- 
ing probably  from  the  days  of  the  restoration,  when 
tlie  nation  expressed  in  costume,  as  in  all  things  else, 
its  wild  delight  at  l)eing  emancipated  from  the  grim 
bondage  of  Puritanism.  The  beau  wiiora  Johnson 
defined  as  a  "  man  of  dress  " — a  man  whose  greatest 
i'are  is  to  deck  his  person,  Hourished  most  luxuriantly 
in  the  last  century.  His,  was  the  sumptuous  age  of 
powder  and  i)atches.  He  was  especially  dainty  in 
matters  of  sword-knots,  shoe-buckles,  and  lace  rufttes. 
He  was  ablaze  with  jewelry,  took  snutf  in  large  quan- 
tities with  an  incomj)arable  air,  out  of  a  box  studded 
with  diamonds,  and  twirled  a  cane  with  great  nicety. 
Some  one  said  that  such  a  man  dressed-  out  in  full 
fashion  resembled  the  cinnamon  tree,  the  bark  being 
of  greater  value  than  the  body.  The  word  macaroni 
as  applied  to  a  fop,  is  of  curious  origin.  In  its  pri- 
mary signification  it  means  a  kind  of  paste-meat 
broiled  broth,  and  dressed  with  butter,  ciieese,  and 
spice.  Webster  defines  the  word  to  mean  "  some- 
thing droll,  or  extravagant,"  again  a  sort  of  droll  or 
fool.  j\[r.  Addison  exi)lains  in  the  Spectator  liow  the 
word  came  to  be  used  to  express  a  fopdoodle.  lie 
says  "there  is  a  sort  of  merry  drolls  whom    the  com- 


iir 


•tiiiii  1 11—11 II 


ii '  I  |ii> 
''  I  ft" 


IM 


THE    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIES. 


i 


'     rl 


I!" 


ii 


f     If'f 


i' 


I  II. 

I  ii'i 


ill, 


mon  i)eople  of  all  countries  admire,  and  seem  to  love 
so  well  that  they  could  eat  them,  according  to  the  old 
proverb ;  I  mean  those  circumforaueous  wits  whom 
every  country  and  nation  calls  by  the  name  of  that 
dish  of  meat  which  it  loves  best.  In  Holland  they 
are  termed  pickled  herrings  ;  in  France,  Jean  Potages 
in  Italy,  macaroni  \  in  p]ngland,  Jack  Puddings, 
Our  Canadian  and  American  ladies  use  very  expres- 
sive terms  in  speal^ing  of  this  case,  they  say,  "Ae's 
soft^  or  he  is  green."  To  these  they  have  added  a  new 
term,  which,  to  them  is  very  expressive,  they  say 
"Ac's  pwicans."  In  Boston  they  call  \\'m\  stewed  cab- 
bage. The  word  dandy  is  said  to  be  derived  from 
the  French  daudin,  hence  Jack-a-dandy,  but  some 
grammarians  are  of  opinion  tiuit  the  term*  is  bor- 
rowed from  a  very  small  coin  of  Heny  VIII. 's  time 
called  .1  dandiprat.  Be  this  as  it  may.  the  dandies 
had  large  intluence  in  those  olden  times.  Lord  Byron 
confesses  to  a  })re<lilection  for  them.  He  says  "  I 
like  the  dandies,  they  were  always  very  civil  to  me." 
Mr.  Carlyle  says,  ''  Let  us  consider  with  some  scientific 
strictness,  what  a  dandy  s[)ecially  is.  A  dandy  is  a 
clothes  wearing  man  " — "  a  man  whose  trade,  ofHce 
and  existence  consists  in  the  wearing  of  clothes.  Every 
faculty  of  his  soul,  s])irit,  j)urse  and  person  is  heroic- 
ally consecrated  to  this  one  object, — the  wearing  of 
clothes  wisely  and  well;  "  "  so  that,  as  others  dress  to 
live,  he  lives  to  dress."  The  all  importance  of  clothes 
has  s])rung  up  in  the  intellect  of  the  dandy,  witnout 
effort,  like  an  instinct  of  genius;  he  is  inspired  with 


\§ 


o  love 

he  old 

wlioni 

>{'  that 

(1  they 

*otages 

Mings, 


expres- 
,  "  he's 
I  a  new 
ley  say 
7ed  cab- 
(l  from 
it   some 
•  ifi  bor- 
L.'s  time 
dandies 
d  l^yion 
4ays   "  I 
to  me." 
scientific 
[idy  is  a 
le,  office 
1.   Every 
8  heroic- 
■arinfi:  of 
i  dress  to 
»f  cl'^thes 
,  witnout 
red  with 


I 


I'lTTY    MKN, 


It) 


doth,  a  |)oet  <tf  cloth.  A  divine  idea  of  cloth  is  horn 
with  him.     The  followinj^  epigram  is  very  pointed. 

"  A  D.indy  is  a  thing  that  would 
Be  a  young  lady  if  it  could, 
But  as  it  can't,  does  all  it  can 
To  sliow  the  world  it's  not  a  man." 

I*icrc<'  Egan  is  entitled  to  the  credit  of  having 
coined  a  word  which  ha;^  obtained  universal  currency — 
the  word  "  swell."  A  swell  is  seen  to  move  round,  a.« 
if  made  up  of  buck  muslin  and  starch,  swelling  into 
false  consequence  like  the  frog  in  the  fable.  The 
excjuisite  is  another  modern  term  <lenoting  a  bi})ed 
made  up  of  bitter  and  sweet,  the  oily  and  o'doriferous, 
powdered  and  j)erfumed,  sometimes  called  "  collars  " 
and  '•  cufPs." 

St.  Crispcn,  thepatron  saint  of  our  shoemakers,  in 
c(»ut'"rring  upon  mankind  the  inestinud)le  boom  with 
which  to  i)rotcct  his  understandings  never  su})posed 
that 

I,  K  A  Tin;  II 

would  be  used  as  a  synd)ol  of  man,  but  there  are  some  men 
I  can  compare  to  nothing  else  than  leather:  Such  persons 
are  in  their  own  estinuition  highly  respectable  and  in 
morals  irrepioachable,  in  their  home  circle  more  or  less 
usid'ul,  but  in  all  that  relates  to  high  and  noble  in- 
stincts, to  retined  and  delicate  perceptions,  to  the  ])urc 
and  the  ])rofound,  the  i'ree  and  the  fervid,  the  benev- 
olent and  the  magnanimous,  they  are  exceedingly  de- 
fective. They  are  nearly  always  dry  and  hard,  or  soft 
and  spongy,  cold  and  indifl'erent.  Those  gents  are  not 
always  retictMit  even  in  the  conqjany  of  strangers;  nor 


t 


1;:, 


II 


'i| 


1, 
•  'I ' 

■•I  I 


:\ 


20 


THi;    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


can  ihcv  kcop  (juiet  even  in  ohincli,  like  leather,  they 
are  creaky,  scjueaky,  noisy  and  fond  of  heinj;'  heard, 
although  they  have  nothinu-  to  say.  They  often  in- 
trnde  into  the  halls  of  seienee,  into  eonmiereial  em- 
poriums and  hoards  (»f  trade,  and  into  jjolitical  assooi- 
ati(»ns  and  even  into  |»rayer  meetings,  and  althouuh 
they  are  always  heard,  no  one  of  all  the  company  is 
wiser  for  all  they  say.  Theirs  is  sound  without  sense, 
noise  in  the  rising' and  falling' iiiHection  without  melody, 
harmonv.  rhyme  or  reason.  Those  uentlemen  ai'e 
sometimes  made  to  shiiu'  when  in  company  by  the 
lustre  of  wife  and  sistt'r.  or  sweetheart;  but  even,  if 
polished  upJ'(U'  a  social  or  a  Sunday  :  they  soon  absorb 
so    much    of    earth    that    thev  lose    their    lustre    until 


])olislu'(l  up  a^ain  for  the  next  sucia 


1.      TI 


U'lr  heautv  b 


all  extei'ual.  and  Is  put  on  I'or  the  occasion, 


Tin:  si'oNci: 


Mill 


III 


I'M 


is  a  curious  formation.  There  is  a  iii'cat  variety  of 
sponu'cs.  and  all  kinds  of  sponges  excel  in  the  prop- 
erty of  absoi'ptiou.  The  niost  valuable  treasure  in 
this  world  is  time,  so  valuable  is  it  that  it  is  uiveu  to 
us  in  very  small  parcels.  The  iiu'rchant.  the  me- 
chanic, the  lawyer,  the  physician,  the  clei\uyman  and 
all  students  dread  the  approach  of  the  human  sponge. 


He 


[U)sorbs  so  much   valuabh^  tune 


I 


n    a 


wholesale 


house  in  Canada  I  once  saw    a    card    printed  in   huge 
tyi)e,  it  I'cad  thus,  "  When  you  call 


u|)on    a    man    ni 


business  hours,  attend  to  your  business,  and  when 
through  with  your  business,  go  about  your  business, 
that  he  may  have  time  to  attend  to  his  business." 
Most  appropriate  !     This  sponge  formation  drinks  up 


il 


tin;  si'()N(ii;. 


•21 


It 


tliey 

;ir<l. 

11    iu- 

l  em- 

issooi- 

louiih 

liny  is 

sense, 

lolotly. 

en    are 

by   the 

veil,  it' 

uUsnil) 

V    until 

eantv  is 


riety   of 
le  \)Vo\)- 
isnre    in 
ti'iven  tt> 
tiie   me- 
inaii  and 
sponge, 
vliolesalo 
in  lartri' 
man    in 
nd  when 
business, 
usiness." 
Innks  up 


hir;;'e  <|Uiintities  of  eity,  town  or  neii^liborhood  <::()ssip, 
travels  from  house  to  liou.se  absorbinii'  i'amily  news. 
All  the  courtships,  family  inisnmlerstaiMlinus,  |)ersonal 
aH'airs.  and  private  matters.  lie  knows,  or  pretends 
to  know,  everybody's  business,  tlieir  motives  an<l  in- 
tentions. Spon«>'e  like,  you  have  only  to  brinjx  to 
iiear  a  little  uentle  pressure,  and  the  news  of  tluMvlKite 
town  will  be  uiven  out  i'or  public  use,  or  for  [irivate 
scandal.  The  news  in  all  cases  so  tinged  and  dis- 
colored by  the  nature  of  the  sponge  that  has  carried  it, 
that  it  a])pears  very  different  from  what  it  was  when 
absorbed.  This  sjionge  may  be  either  niasculiue,  fem- 
inine or  neuter,  and  is  more  or  less  to  blame  for  the 
public  scandals,  church  trials,  family  broils,  and  civil 
lawsuits  in  city,  town  and  country.  InaiicitMir  Greece, 
i  he  who  slandered  his  neighbor,  was,   according  to  law, 

4  comju'llcd  to  go  round  the  town  with  only  half  a  coat. 

If  such  a  law  was  enforced  in  our  day,  some  of  our 
citizens  would  run  desjierate  risks  of  catching  cold. 
There  are  some  most  excellent 

i.Hirou  sii'()\(ii:s 

in  community  now,  they  go  round  from  bar-room 
ti>  sal(»on,  and  then  round  again,  loafing  and  spong- 
ing. They  never  buy  any  tobacco  (»r  lick-her,  and 
yet,  they  always  come  home  so  smoked,  and  so  steamed, 
that  voii  can  nose  them  long  before  they  reach  the 
I  door.      They  are  full  of  liipior  and  tobacco,  inside  and 

outside,  and  yet  it  is  all  sponged,     fjohn  was 

onc(>  a  manly  man,  of  piincely  form  ami  noble  mien, 
lie  had  the  body  and  brain  of  a  noble  man  ;  but  of 
late   y<>ars    poor  d(>ar  .loliii   was  a  complete  wreck   in 


H 


:f!^ 


nil 

■.'I,     (MM  I 

'h  " 
^>)i  I'-ii 
I'  II 


Hi;! 


22 


rill':  ODD  .MAN   AND   HIS  (»DDi'rii;s. 


iniiid.  Itody.  iind  estate.  How  does  It  come  Jolm, 
tell  iiu'  Mow.  How  is  it  yon  lU'ver  hiiy  drink  now.  do 
you.  .loini  ?  \(t,  n(».  not  now.  1  Inive  notliinu'  to  pur- 
eliiise  it  with  now.  the  li(|nor  scIUt  luis  my  faiMn  now. 
Well  .John,  how  is  it  yon  always  e(»nie  home  drnnk, 
yet  yon  nevei"  hny  the  drinU.  Oh  sir.  yon  know  1 
haims  ai'onnd  thei'e.  yon  see  and  when  any  on(>  of  I'm' 
comes  in  and  calls  t'oi-  a  (piart.  and  says,  "  come  hoys." 
I  always  thinks  he  means  me.  in  some  snch  way 
iMcn  hanu'  aronnd  and  ahsoi-h  vast  ((nantities  of  to- 
bacco, rnm  and  opinm.  always  drawinu'  largely  from 
the  stock  in  ti'ade  of  some  younu'  man  who  is  only  a 
learner  in  the  ai-t.  Tnlike  othei*  sponu'es.  these  do 
not  wait  to  he  s(pu'e/ed  in  order  to  yield  their  con- 
tents. I'oi-  in  onr  pnhlic  halls,  offices,  conrt  rooms,  on 
fni'nitnre.  (ire  |daci's.  stairs  and  carpets,  on  verandah, 
side  walk,  and  stree!  cars,  they  continnally  eject  their 
li(|nid  lillh  and  nasty  (piids.  they  al)s<n'l)ed  a  few  hoiiis 
before.  One  of  thost'  hninan  sponucs  with  a  month 
full  (d'  nastin''ss  beaan  fiinuiiiu'  his  dirty  jnici'  aronnd 
the  lire  place  ol'  a  (deanly  honest  (Jjnaker.  The  odd 
friend  arose,  and  bron^ht  the  stranu'er's  hat.  and  laid 
it  doun  bel'ore  him.  sayinu' :  "Thee  mnst  spit  where 
thee  can  carr\'  it  awav  with  thee." 


J-IKi:s    AND    DISLIKES    <)I'    MKN. 


23 


() 


»I()hn, 
t\v,  do 
pur- 
n  n(»\v. 
iiniU. 
low    1 
of  cm" 
l)oys."" 
eh    way 
of    to- 
V    iroiu 
s  only  ii 
licsf    do 
eir    coii- 

)01US.     oil 

I'vandidi. 
jtH't  tlicir 
cw  lioms 

il    lliolllll 

v  around 

The  odd 

and  laid 

pit  wIh'I'c 


I 


("IIAPTKR  II. 

Ho  wliokcops ]iis('y(>s  open  to  tlic  likes  and (lislikcs 
oF.nuMi,  till'  various  tastes  and  disjiositions  of  tlio  odd 
spi'cinu'iis  around  liini  will  soon  see  an  endless  variety. 
( )ne  man  loves  lantiiiaucs.  lie  can  spend  weeks  in  musty, 
lusty,  time-worn,  molii-eaten  lolios,  liuntint>'  amonii' 
obsolete  rornis  of  words  in  lan^uau'cs  loni>'  since  dead 
and  buried,  for  the  origin  of  a  word.  lie  would  ao 
miles,  on  foot,  and  in  the  rain,  to  have  a  controversy 
with  an  a<lverb. 

"  liikc  a  Iciinicd  i)hil()loiiist,  wlio  cliiisc 
A  pa''tiii,!:-  sylhililc  tlirouii'li  lime  iiiid  spiicc, 
Sliirt  i(  at  liuiiic.  and  limit  it  in  the  dark. 
To  ({aid.— to  (Jreecc, — and  into  Noah's  Ark." 

Anotherman  has  chosen  n'cometry  and  niiithematics 
as  his  hobby,  he  thinks,  and  talks  and  dreams  id" 
rubes  and  solids,  ol'  riuiit  lines  and  trianii'les,  cipia- 
tions  and  loiiarithms.  Another  has  a  riilinu'  passion 
I'or  rhyme;  he  writes  and  thinks  in  verse,  lives  in  a 
world  that  lias  no  existence,  moves  iiround  anionu' 
<'reatures  (d'  his  own  I'ancv,  lauulis  at  their  own 
spectres,  weeps  over  sori'ows  that  never  I'xisted,  loves 
Triends  and  hates  enemies,  which  exist  only  in  their 
imau'imilion.  Soiik'  men  arc  born  poets.  Isaac 
Watts,  when  a  lad,  round  that  he  could  express  liiin- 
seir  more  I'cadily  and  with  greater  ease  in  versi>  than 
in  prose.  His  latluM'  (d'ten  reproved  him  for  his 
verse  imikinu'.  and  one  day  thrt>atene(i  to  iipply  the 
birch  to  his   biick,  if  he  did   not  stop  his  versilication. 


I)H  I 


■1)  I 
lit  I 


M'lii 

I  III 


' 


II 


*J 


>i  ■-■>. 


||  'I, 


ll    i: 


24 


Till':    ODD    MAN    AND    JUS    ODDITIKS. 


Ilis    fatlitM'  <rr()\viii(>:  aii<rry   held   tlio   nid  over  the  hul,. 
when  the  y()im<>'  poet  eried  out  : 

"  Dear  fatlier,  do  some  pity  take, 
And  I  will  i\()  more  verses  make." 

One  o(hl  si)eeiiiien  (  I'  a  man  is  so  full  of  humor  that 
he  carries  tlu>  sun.  moon,  and  stars,  with  the  doxoloiry 
in  his  face,  when,  ior  his  wife's  sake,  or  for  his 
minister's  sake,  he  ti'ies  to  eontrcd  his  fun  makinjj; 
propensities;  even  then,  he  lanuhs  all  over.  He 
eunnot  help  it  ;  it  is  his  superahoundinu'  p)od  nature 
imitatinii'  the  northern  liuhts.  Ilis  next  ueiiihhor  is 
exeeedinuly  demure,  he  has  no  fai'ulty  lor  wit.  or 
humor,  was  nevei'  known  t(»  indulu'e  in  a  hearty  lau^h, 
iiideed  his  wife  thinks  that  he  never  really  and  truly 
did  lauii'li.  oiiee.  she  says,  he  smiled. 

One   odd    man    is   so    disposed    to    stand    upon    his 
dijiiiitv,  and    his  diunit\'   stands  st>  hiuh,  that  in  com- 


pany he  seems  all  alone,  a 


^titT.  cold,  dissocial   hodv 


a  kind  of  social  iceheru',  he  has  ik*!  a  W(»rd  to  say  to 
anyhody.  ami  he  does  not  want  anyone  to  speak  a 
word  to  him.  Ilis  neiti'hhoi'  is  iu>t  as  odd  as  he  is, 
only  away  on  the  other  exti'enie,  he  is  s(»  sociahle  that 
he  is  the  ol)serve(l  of  all  ohservers.  In  l"iX-(  iovernor 
I'owell.  of  KeiitiM'ky.  you  meet  a  line  example,  lie 
wan  not  an  orator  hy  any  means,  thou^li  a  uood  story 
tidier.      Ilis  forte    lay  in   uaininii  a   persomd   intimacy 


with    everv    one    I 


le     UK 


t.      In    tl 


lis    wav 


lu'     wa? 


powerful  electioneerer.  ( 'onnnuup  lhe(  )hio  river,  says 
a  traveller,  I  heard  the  followiti^  :  '•(Jovernor  Powell 
lives  there,  ncs.  he  lives  there."      Is  an  old  I'csidenter, 


ves  he  I,- 


A  verv   sociahle  nuin  is  he  not?     "  ^'e 


.1' 


■■       (iKN.    (UiANT    AND    Till:    POLlTlCf AX. 


25 


U' 


lad, 


or  that 
)xt)l(>,u'y 
lor  his 
iuaUint>' 
r.  He 
1  nature 
nhhor  is 
wit,  or 
y  hui;i'h, 
[\u\  truly 

upon  his 
[  in  coin- 
ial  l)o(ly. 
to  say  to 
speak  a 
as  he  is, 
iahle  tiiat 

( loVCMMlor 

ipU'.  Hi* 
:oo(l  story 
intiniticy 
10  was  a 
river,  sayrt 
or  Powoll 
ivsi(U'ntiM', 
?     "  Yos. 


ixMiiarkably  so  ;  ''well  I  tlioiijrht  so."  T  think  lie  is 
one  of  the  most  sociable  men  I  ever  met  in  all  my 
life.  Wonderfully  sociable !  I  was  introduced  to 
him  at  the  s|)rinus  last  sumniei,  and  he  had  not  been 
in  my  company  ten  minutes  when  he  begged  all  the 
tobacco  I  had,  a'ot  his  feet  u[)  into  my  hi]),  iind  spit  all 
(iver  me.      Kemai'Uably    ociable." 

(it:N.    (IKANT    AND    TIIK    POLITICIAN. 

Ac(>i'tain  we?«tern  colonel  in  Major-(  Jeneral  (J rant's 
army  took  advantage  (»f  a  sick  furloutih  to  canvass 
fov  a  nomination  to  Congress.  On  ap[)lication  for  an 
(Ntension  of  his  fui'lou'u'h,  (uMieral  Grant  wrote  on 
ihe  back  of  it  as  follows  : 

If  Col. is  :ibl(>  to  travel  over  his  district  to 

electioneer  for  Congress,  he  is  able  to  be  with  his 
rcu'iment,  ami  lu'  is  hereby  ordered  to  join  it  immedi- 
ately, (tr  be  dismisse<l  from  the  service. 

AN    ODD    sroKV    Ol'    riJKSlDKNT    MNCOLN. 

Ml'.  PresidiMit,  >ai<l  a  friend  to  him,  "there  isn't 
much  left  of  Hood's  ai'my,  is  there?"  Well  no, 
Medill  :  I  think  Hoitd's  army  is  about  in  the  lix  of 
IJill  Sykes'  dou,  down  in  S;inpimon  County.  Did 
yiMi  evei'  hcai'  it?  Of  course  the  answer  was, 
"never."  "Well,  liill  Sykes  had  a  loujii'  yaller  doir, 
thai  was  forever  ucetiuu'  into  the  ueiu'hbor's  meat- 
houses,  and  hen-coops.  They  had  tried  a  humlred 
limes  to  kill  il,  bul  the  dou'  was  always  too  sniiirt  for 
them.  l"'iually,  one  ol'  ihem  ;^(»l  a  bladder  of  a  coon, 
and  tilled  it  with  p(»wdei',  tyinu'  the  neck  with  a  piece 
of  puid<,  split  open  a   hot    biscuit    and  put  them  in  the 


MMBIIIIH  I 


I  I'll 


I    f\l 


I, 


26 


TI!K    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDrTIKS, 


l»l;i<l<l('r  hiitti'i'cd  ;ill  nicely.  Wlicn  lie  saw  the  (lo,i>' 
(•(»iirni<:-  he  fired  (lie  punk  and  tlii'cw  it  out.  The  dou' 
s\vall(»\ved  it  at  a  liulp.  Pretty  soon  tlieiv  was  an 
ex|tl()si(»n.  The  liead  of  the  do^'  lit  upon  the  j)orcli, 
the  loic-leus  cauiiht  astiaddle  the  I'ence,  the  hiiul  leu's 
fell  into  tlu'  ditch,  and  the  rest  of  the  do^'  lay  around 
loose.  Pretty  soon  P)ill  SyUes  came  alonu'.  and  the 
neiiihltoi'  said  :  "  P>ill.  I  uuess  there  ain't  nineh  of 
that  doii'  ol'  your'n  left."  "Well,  no,  said  Jiill  ;  I 
see  plenty  of  pieces  hut  I  uuess  that  dou',  as  a  <lo^-, 
ain't  of  much  more  account,"  just  so,  Medill,  there 
may  he  I'rau'meuts  of  Hood's  army  around,  hut  I  *«ues.< 
that  do,^'  as  a  do,u'.  ain't  of  much  account." 

(TUIOIS    TASTK. 

W'v  iind  many  odd  specinxMis  of  our  day  wheu 
consultinii'  the  la>tes  and  fancies  of  peoples  and 
nations'  especially  where  we  nuiiht  suppose  that  taste, 
with  delicate  tinii'crs,  would  hardly  dare  to  intrude.  I 
I'efer    particularly    to   the   diiferent    colors    chosen    in 


houis  ol    deep   UKUiruMiu'   ani 


1   liiief.      1 


n    our  eountrv 


autl  with  our  Saxon  race  in  all  countries,  hlack.  only 
accords  with  the  seasmis  ol'  urief  and  sadness.  While 
in  China  and  .la|)an,  while  is  llu'  only  color  use<l  to 
show  sorrow  durinu'  the  days  of  mourninu'.  on  the 
removal  of  friemls.  In  Tui'Uey.  they  weai'  hlue  and 
violet  at  all  their  funerals.  In  .\hyssinia  and 
throuiih  Southern  l\uypl,  ihey  choose  ^rey  to  express 
their  urief.  'The  Pt'ruvians  wear  hi'own.  The 
Ah>xandrians  in  time  of  moniiiiuii'  chotoe  ytdlow  as 
hest  atlapted  to  show  their  ui'ief.  How  extremely  o(ld 
looUinu'  to  us  such  fancies  al  funerals. 


Trrr-"— ■" 


lie  doti' 

'he  doii' 
I  was  an 

porch, 
liiul  k\us 

around 
land  the 
iiucl!    of 

Jiill;  1 
s  a  (h)ii', 
ill.  there 
t  I  uness 


(THlors    LOYALTY. 


(TlMors    LOYALTY. 


27 


ay  when 
|)les  and 
hat  taste, 
tvude.  1 
'hosiMi  in 
11-  eonnti'y 
lack,  only 
..  While 
)r  nsed  to 
I',    on    the 

blue  and 
sinia  and 
to  express 
,n.        The 

yellow  as 
iMnelv  odd 


l)urin;i'  the  i)as.sa<>'e  of  the  National  troo])s  thi'on<>li 
Missouri,  in  ])ursuit  of  (Jeneral  Priee.  a  crowd  of 
colored  men  came  out  of  a  lartic  house  to  see  them, 
when  the  I'ollowin^' colhxpiy  took  ])lace.  "Boys  are 
you  all  for  the  union?  ••Oh!  yes.  niassa.  when 
yon's  al)out  we  is" — and  when  I*i'ice  comes,  you  are 
secesh.  are  you?"  •'IjOI'.  yes.  massa,  we.  we"s  u()()d 
secesh  then,  cixu't  allow  (h>  white  folk  to  t«it  ahead  of 
ni<iu'ei's  in  dat    way." 

Cl'lUOlS    TACTICS. 

Whih'  on  a  foi-ced  march  in  some  army  movements 
in  .Mississippi,  (leneral  Flardee  "came  uj)  with  a 
strau'ii'ler  who  had  been  some  distance  behind  his 
connnand.  The  (leiKM'al  ordered  him  forward,  when 
the  soldier  replied  that  he  was  weak  and  br(d\en 
down,  mtt  havinu'  had  I'ven  half  rations  for  several 
days.  That's  hard,  rc^plied  the  (Jeneral.  but  you  must 
push  forward  my  u'ood  fellow,  and  join  youi-  com- 
nunnl.  or  the  piovost  uuard  will  tidvc  you  in  hand. 
The  sohder  halted,  and  lookinu'  up  at  the  (Jeneral. 
ask(>d.  "Ain't  you  (Jeneral  Ilai'di'i'?"  "Yes." 
replied  the  (Jeneral.  '•Didn't  you  writ(>  Ilardi'e's 
tactics?"  •'  ^'es."  Well  ( Jeneral  I've  st\idied  them 
tactics  ami  have  them  by  heai't.  "  ^du  have  an 
orih'i'  then'  to  double  eolunui  at  half  distance,  ain't 
you?  I'm  a  u'otxl  soldier.  (leneral.  and  1  obey  all 
that  is  possible  to  be  obeyed!  but  if  you  can  show 
me  an  order  in  your  tactics,  or  in  anybody  else's 
tactics,  to   double   distaiu'c   on    half  rations,  then    I'll 


;l;'iv(>  in. 


'^,,11 

1  ,;ll 

li'HIli 

)l"Hlll 

"1 

'4 

1    Hi' 

.1    •!!,!*' 


2^ 


Tin;    <)l>l)    .MAN     AND    HIS    ODDITIES. 


'riio  (ireneral  with  a  hearty  laii,i!:li,  adniittcd  that 
there  was  no  tactics  to  meet  the  case  ;  and  piittinii" 
spurs  to  his  horse  vode  I'orward. 


(TRIOrs    TOASTS. 

Two  iialhuit  sons  of  Erin  heinu'  just  discharged 
From  the  service,  were  rejoicinu'  over  tiie  event  with  a 
wee  taste  of  tlie  ci'athur ;  when  one  wiio  i'elt  all  the 
u'lory  ol"  his  own  noble  race,  suddenly  raised  his 
alass  above,  and  said,  "arrah  Mike,  here's  to  the 
gallant  ould  Sixty-ninth.  The  last  iu  the  Held  and 
the  first  to  leaN'c!"  "Tut,  tut  man,  said  Mike,  you 
dou"t  mane  that."  "Don't  nuuie  that,"  is  it. 
"Theli  whiU  do  I  maue?"  "  "^'ou  mane,"  said  Mike. 
aud  h(>  i-aisi'd  his  ulass  iiiuh  ami  looked  loviuuly  at 
it.  "lli're  is  to  (he  nallanl  Sixty-ninth — e(|ual  t(v 
none  !"  an  they  drank. 

AN    ODD   ADDi;i;ss. 

The   followinti'  is   tiie  superscription    of  a  h'tter  that 
passed  through  the  Louisville,  Ky.,  postoffice. 

Fcils  and  Confcds  let  this  g-o  free. 
Down  to  Nashville,  'I't-inicssee  ; 
This  thrcc-ccnls  stiiinp  will  pay  the  cosl, 
I'nlil  you  find  Sopliiii  Post. 

PoslniiishM- North,  or  even  Soutii, 

.May  open  it  and  fuid  the  truth  ; 

I  merely  say  my  wile's  ,ij,()l  well, 

And   has  a  baby,  cross  as you   know. 


A  crinoi  s  i{i;i'i,v 


\u  Ii'ishmaii.  from    liattle  (Veek.  Michi,i>an,  was  at 
hull  {{nil  battle,  aud  wa>  somewhat    starlliMl  when   the 


A   <;i:i:ai'  ohDiiv 


•2\) 


tod    that 
puttiiiu" 


scliiu'incd 
lit  with  Ji 
It   all    tlu> 

aised     his 

's    to    tlio 

tii'ld   and 

Mike,  yon 

t,"    is"  it. 

said  Mike. 

oviiiu'ly  at 
('((iial   to 


letter  that 


()\V. 


nan,  was  at 
d  when   the 


the  head  of  lii;^  ('oiii))anion  on  the  left  was  knocked  oH' 
by  a  eaiiiioii  hall.  A  few  minutes  after,  however,  a 
s|tent  hall  broke  the  fing'ers  of  ids  eomvade  on  the 
other  side.  The  latter  threw  down  his  liun  and 
yidled  with  pain  ;  when  the  Irishman  rushed  to  him. 
exclaiminii'.  '"iJlast  your  soul,  you  ould  woman,  stop 
your  eryinu  I  Vou  make  more  noist'  alxfUt  it,  than 
the  man  that  l(»st  his  head." 

A   (ii!i;vr  ()l)l)|■r^. 

("ri;i!AN  the  eloipient  Irish  bai'ri.-ter  said  of  him- 
>i'lf  that  he  mai'i'ied  before  he  had  touched  his  iii>l 
lee.  lie  was  in  straitened  fireumstances  when  his 
first  fee  was  brouulit  to  his  house.  .Mrs.  Curran. 
beint:'  a  l)arrister's  lady  considei'ed  that  their  land 
la<ly  was  tiikini;'  undue  liberty  wIumi  I'endndin^ti  hei' 
of  ari'ears  of  rent.  The  i;dod  woman  fi'lt  herself 
auLii'ieved  by  her  tenant>  airs  and  freely  aire(l  her  own 
di.-[)leasure.  I  walkc'd  out  one  mtu'uinu'.  says  the 
elo(jUent  man.  at  a  later  dale.  "Mo  avoid  the  |)er- 
petual  altercations  on  tlu'  subject  of  rent;  with  my 
mind  in  no  enviable  condition.  I  fell  into  a  uloomy 
mood.  1  had  a  fanidy  for  whom  I  lia<l  no  dinner;  a 
landhuly  f(M'  whom  I  had  no  rent.  1  had  Lidue 
abroad  in  despomlency,  1  returiu'<l  in  despt'ratiou. 
When  1  (•pene(l  my  study,  the  lirst  thinii'  1  saw  was 
an  inuuense  folio  of  a  bi'ief.  with  twenty  ti'old 
^.i'uineas  wrapped  up  beside  it.  1  paid  my  landlady, 
bouii'ht  a  u'ood  dinner,  thanked  (i(»d.  and  took  courau'e. 
.Mr.  ("urran  was  known  as  a  ureat  punster.  .\  person 
with  whom  he  was  con\'"r>inu'  who  was  very  precise  in 
his  pr<tnunciation   cried   out    to  one  of  the  company. 


[  I  I  I  ■    "  nil- 
I'-  Hill 


'    iltt' 


!l 


80 


TlIK    01)I)    MAX    AND    1II«    ODDITnOS. 


who  had  just  cut  down  curiosity  to  ciirosity ;  oh  said 
he,  in  a  low  voice  to  Curran,  "  how  that  man  niur- 
<lers  the  langua<i;e!"  "Not  exactly  '^o  bad,  was  the 
reply,  he  has  only  knocked  an  I  out  of  it." 

Once  in  ci'oss-exaniinin<»-  a  horse-jockey's  servant, 
he  asked  him  how  old  his  master  was,  "■  I  never  put 
my  hand  in  his  mouth,"  was  the  appi'opriate  reply. 
The  lauji'h  of  tlie  assend)ly  went  a<;ainst  the  lawyer ; 
hut  he  soon  recovered  his  yronnd.  "And  very 
•wisely  you  acted,  for  by  all  accounts  he  is  a  *>reat 
bite/' 

C'hief  Justice  VUiw  and  Curran  entertained  a  stronu' 
dislike  for  each  other.  The  Chancellor,  once  learnin<i- 
that  the  barrister  was  to  plead  in  an  imj)ortant  case 
in  the  (V)urt  of  Chancery,  placed  his  favorite  New- 
foundland do<r  at  his  feet,  and  pai<l  more  attention  to 
him,  than  to  the  ar^nunent  of  the  |)leader.  At  last 
his  inattention  became  so  marked,  and  so  j)ointedly 
offensive  ihat  the  plcadcM'  abruptly  stopjxHl  his 
address,  "'(loon,  Mr.  Curran,"  said  thcrJudiic.  "  ao 
on."  "Oh.  1  b(\u'  a  thousand  j)ardons,  my  Lord,  I 
really  took  for  uranted  thtit  your  lordship  was  holding' 
a  consultation." 

Chief  Justice  Carleton  on  coming  into  court  never 
ceased,  says  Sir  .1.  iiarrin<;ton,  "to  complain  of  the 
state  of  his  health  and  often  introduced  lady  Carleton 
in  his  book  of  lamentations.  One  day  he  entered  the 
court  encumbered  with  a  more  than  ordinary  load  of 
woe,  an<l  apitlojii/ed  to  the  le<;:al  genthunen  assend)led 
for  the  necessity  in  which  he  stood  of  a<ljournint;' 
business  for  that  day,  thou<2,h  there  was  an  important 
issue  for  trial  ;   ■'  for,"  he  addiMl  in  a  low  tone,  "poor 


,2^^ga|fcj^^v 


A    (JRKAT    ODDITY 


31 


oh  said 

111   niur- 

was  the 

■iorvant, 
ever  put 
o  reply . 
hiwyer  ; 
lul  very 
a   yreat 

a  stronji: 
'  h'arniiij:: 
•taut  case 
rite  New- 
tention  to 
At  hist 
pointedly 
)pped  his 
idue,  "  ii'o 
y  Lord,  I 
IS  hohrm<>' 

ourt  lu'ver 
ain  of  tiie 
y  Carleton 
'Mtered  tlie 
ry   h)ad   of 

asseinhled 
idjouriiinii;" 

iniportaut 
)ne,  "  poor 


I 


Lady  Carletoii  has  had  afausse  couche,  and  —  "  oh" 
exclaimed  Ciirran,  "your  lordship  need  not  have  made 
any  apology  as  it  appears  that  your  lordship  has  no 
issue  to  try." 

On  one  occasion  the  Judge  cautioned  Mr.  Curran, 
saying:  "It  would  he  well  if  you  were  better  on  your 
guard  in  wluit  you  say,  for  if  not,  you  may  lose 
your  gown."  "They  may  take  the  gown,  niy  lord,  but 
thev  must  leave  the  stuff  behind,  was  the  rejoinder." 
Curran  was  addressing  a  j'lry  with  great  earnestness 
and  eloquence,  when  the  Judge,  who  was  thought  to 
be  antagonistic  to  liis  client,  intinuited  ids  dissent  from 
the  argunu'ut  advanced  by  a  shake  of  Ins  head.  "I 
see  tiie  motion  of  his  lordsliip's  head.  Persons  unac- 
((uainted  with  iiis  lordship  would  be  apt  to  think  it  im- 
})lied  a  difference  of  opinion.  i)ut  be  assured,  gentlemen, 
this  is  not  the  case.  When  you  kn(/>v  his  lordship  as 
well  as  I  do,  it  will  be  unnecessary  to  tell  you  that 
when  he  shakes  his  head  there  is  really  nothing  in  it," 

Fn  the  Court  of  Chaiu'ci-y  in  ICngland  Curran  was 
making  a  strong  casi'  to  the  Judges,  and  his  opponent, 
Slicing  that  he  was  making  an  impression  on  the  Court, 
tried  every  way  to  divert  his  attention  and  destroy  the 
force  of  his  arguments,  at  last  finding  that  Curran  was 
making  out  a  strong  case,  arose  and  offered  him  a  pinch 
of  snull".  Ciiri'an  turned  most  politely  to  his  opponent 
and  said,  with  gravity  bei'oming  the  place  and  the 
audience,  "thank  you.  had  my  nose  been  designed  for 
a  dust  IkiIc,  it  would  not,  sir,  I  imagine,  have  been 
})laced  upside  down." 

Najjoleon  was  an  uiordinate  lovei"  of  snuff.  He 
took  a    spoon  full  into   his  nose   wIumi  on    the   field  of 


If 


r  1 1" 


'■  "in 


32 


I'm:    ODD    MAN    AND    Ills    ODDITIKS. 


i!i» 
Wi 


";  t  :!• 


Waterloo  ho  wrote  to  one  of  his  ii:enerals,  "The  hattK> 
is  ours,"  but  before  the  next  hour  he  found  to  his  sur- 
prise that  the  Duke  of  Welliii|iiton,  who  nevei'  used 
tobaeeo  in  any  iorin,  was  u|)  to  snuff". 

"Knows  lie  that  never  took  :i  pini-li 

Nosey!  the  ])leasur('  thence  which  tlows/ 
Knows  lie  the  litillatiiii;'  joy  • 

Which  my  nose  knows. 

Oh  nos(>!  1  am  as  I'ondol'  tlu'c 

As  any  mountain  of  its  snows. 
I  ii'a/.e  on  thee,  and  I'eel  the  i)ri(le 

A  lioman  knows." 


j^hakespeare.  in  his  i)hiy  of  IT(Miry  W 


savs: 


— "He  was  perlumed  like  a  milliner 
And  twixt  his  linger  and  his  llininb  he  held 
A  pouncet  box.  whicli  ever  and  anon 
He  gave  his  nose."— 

— "Oh.  how  il  liniiles  ii]) 
The  titillated  nose,  and  lills  the  t-ycs 
And  hreasl.  till  in  one  comrortahle  snee/.e 
The  full  collected  i)Ieasiii'c  Imrsls  at  last." 

When  visitinu'  tlie  dewish  teniple  in  PhihuUdphia. 
on  thi-  ji'reat  (hiy  of  atonement.  I  took  olf  my  hat  as  I 
entered  the  sacred  phiee.  Very  soou.  oddly  cinmuli. 
one  Inivinu'  authority  tohl  im\  --Sir.  |>ut  on  youi'  hat." 
In  thi'  east.  ihey.  in  acts  <d'  worship  put  on  tlieir  hats 
and  take  olV  their  shoes. 

SlINDKSJIIN. 

Wiiih'  alhidinti"  to  odd  thiiu^s  in  a  phice  of  wor- 
ship, we  must  not  foruct  the  Kirk  minister  whose  sci- 
inons  were  somctinu's  a  litth'  loni;  and  rather  dvy.  One 
of  the  "i'cjod  ehh'i's  named  diimes  was  sometimes  eaiuiht 


siiNi:i:siiiN. 


I"  UattU' 


u  V  s : 


il:ulol\)bi!i. 
k-  luit    as   1 
V    I'luiuu'h- 
vour  hat.' 
I  their  hats 


ii'e  of    woi- 

whost'  si'i- 

vdvy.    One 

lues  oau.iiht 


napping  in  church.  The  minister  said  to  him.  ".lame- 
sie.  I  see  yoii  tak  a  hit  o"  iiajt  in  the  Kirk  sometimes. 
Can  you  no  take  a  litth-  mull  isnurt')  my  maun,  and 
when  you  hecome  heavy  tak  a  pinch,  and  it  may  keep 
vtiu  up.""  '"May  he.""  said  tlie  lOlder.  ••hut  nnnister. 
pit  \'e  the  schneeshin  into  the  sarnion  and  it  will  serve 
a  Li'ood  pui^|)ose  all  round.'" 

Thei'c  is  ximethinti'  very  amiisinji'  in  the  idea  ol' 
what  may  he  called  ••the  titness  of  things""  in  rcLiard 
to  snuH"  takinii'.  wiru-h  occurred  in  the  experience  of  an 
honest  hitihlander.  .\.t  the  hotel  a  'gentleman  wa< 
<taudinu  near  hy.  when  he  ohscrvcd  a  tall,  tine  lookinu' 
man  .-tandin^i'  near  him.  dri'ssed  iii  full  tartans,  and  he 
noticed  the  width  of  his  no.-lril<and  a  tine  turned  up 
nose.  The  u'cnt  Icman  enLi'a.Li'ed  in  convei'sation.  and  as 
a  com])linienlary  act.  olTered  him  his  snulV  hox  for  a 
l)incli.  The  hi^hhimler  drew  away  ami  I'athei-  hauLih- 
(ily  >aid.  ••{  never  snulT.""  ••Oh.""  said  the  other. 
••thalVa  peely.  for   there's  u'rawnd   acct)mmodati(»n."" 

The  Scotchman  is  a  u'ifted  individual,  nasally, 
wlictlicr  we  coii>ider  the  St rath(dy<lian .  Pitcariiin  or 
Cidedonian.  and  as  a  I'ule  he  conunonly  knows  what  he 
is  ahoiit .  liike  hirds  ol'  pre  v.  he  can  scent  a  u'ood  thiuL;' 
a  loni:'  way  otV.  Scotch  eyes  can  see  an  opening'  foi'an 
enterprising'  ••chiiT"  in  the  most  uidikely  ni'iiihhor- 
hood.  and  catch  the  sweet  aroma  (d'  siller  a  lon«^'  way 
off. 

The  liritish  hnlldou'  has  a  very  i)i'culiar  nose,  re- 
semhlinn  very  nnndi  the  British  prize  fiuhtei".  Puu- 
uacity  is  the  idea  indelihly  impressed  upon  the  nose  of 
hoth  man  and  dou'.  and  man  an<l  don'  hear  out  nature's 


M 


I'      I'll:.. 

t   lint 


34 


rHE    ODD    MAX    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


rccoiiuiu'iulatioii!*  to  the  utmost.  One  ir*  all  teeth,  the 
otlier  all  fist.  pjn<jlan(l  has  very  little  reason  to  be 
y>rou(l  of  either.  The  sti'eet  roiiirh  has,  as  a  rule,,  the 
nose  of  a  puji',  or  snub  pattern,  and  has  much  of  the 
bulldo*;-  in  his  e(tmposition. 

The  old  Ixomans  were  well  off  as  to  nose.  It  is 
much  to  be  doubted  whether  if  they  had  not  such  noses 
they  would  have  d(»ne  such  deeds.  They  had  very  bitj 
noses  and  very  short  swonls.  and  they  did  what  on  in- 
(juirv  will  be  found  to  have  been  the  mctliod  ado|)ted 
bv  all  iiH'ii  of  strcuiith  and  character — they  f(»llowed 
their  noses.  The  nose  wi'Ut  lirst  aiul  the  sword  fol- 
lowi'd.  That  fact  is  as  plain  as  tin'  nose  on  the  read- 
ers  i'iH'v. 

The  twelve  ( "lesars.  beiuu'  imperial  themselves,  had 
Cicsariaii  or  imperial  noses,      ■•rains  .lulius."  says  his 


mo 


lad  a  nose  as  bin  as   his  commentaries. 


"Xraplier. 

'■Numa  Pompilius  had  a  nose"  said  Lernpi'ievc  whicdi 
was  a  nose — it  was  half  a  loot  lonti'.  His  second  name 
was  only  a  .-urname.  for  a  [yerson  possessing-  (in  the 
lauLiuaji'e  of  Lydia  Thom[)son )  the  noisiest  nose  that 
you  ever  did  si'c."'  All  the  kiuys  befoi'i'  Tai'(iuin  had 
loufi'  noses  and  all  of  thci:!  reigned  in  peace;  hut  Tar- 
([uin  (degenerate  Roman  that  he  was)  had  a  small  nose, 


and  they  pulle*!    his  throne  to   pieces  and    kicked   hi 


in 


ou 


t  of  I 


iome 


Proverbial  philosophy  (not  Tupper's)  has  much  to 
*■  I^rudent   men   smell   far,    while 


say    about    noses. 

the     fool     has      no      nose 


Ovidius      Naso      was 


indebted    to    his    j^^reat    nose    for    his   second    name. 
Queen  Bess   must   have  had   a   nose  of  a  goodly  size  ; 


tl 


(  IIOKAL    i-KKVK  i;. 


35 


eth,  the 
)n  to  be 
ule,.  the 
1  of  the 

0.  It  is 
lU'li  noses 
I  vcn-v  bitr 
lilt  on  iii- 
l  n(loi)t(Ml 
tollowcd 

I  the  iVJul- 

solvi's.  luul 
,•'  says  his 
\oiitiU'ios."" 
■\v\-v  which 

'COlltl   lliUlU'. 

iiu;  (in  the 
t  nose  that 
\iniuiu  had 
•c;  hut  Tar- 
i  small  uose, 
kicked  him 

has  much  to 
1  far,  while 
Naso  was 
cond  name, 
goodly  size; 


olluTwisc  she  cduld  never  have  led  so  many  men  of 
maik  hy  the  nose.  There  has  been  much  fun  joked 
at  noses  both  in  ancient  and  modern  times.  Tiiere 
was  a  certain  French  Dauphin  called  Count  Siud)  : 
there  was  a  celebrity  in  nu^dieval  romances  who  was 
called  William  of  Oranir*'.  popularly  known  as 
AN'illimii.  with  the  short  nosi".  ()nr  Iron  Duke. 
Welliuii'toM  was  \uli:arly.  yet  eiidi'aiMuu'ly  known  as 
old  X(»sey.  on  accimnt  of  his  lari'e  nose,  ('t)rnelia. 
the  IJoman  matron  had  a  nose  indieaiive  of  character. 
Luerelia  had  a  !'."■<"'  indicative  of  Lireal  weakness. 
('leo|)atra  had  a  liiu'ly  formed  nos<'.  Pretty  little 
women  u>ua!l\'  have  little  noses,  sometimo  we  lind 
ladies  with  too  much  clu'ck.  and  otliers.  aizain.  have 
too  much  nose.  Many  (»f  the  extremely  odd  Illinois 
we  see  amont:'  men  have  theii'  oriiiin  in  the  education 
they  receive,  and  the  early  |)reiudices  they  formed. 
( )u  the  introduction  of  hiiih  cliurclii<m  into  Seoiland, 
the  full  choral  <er\itH'  was  introduced.  'Phei-e  was 
a  costly  oruan  and  a  full  choir  of  sinu'crs  introdueed 
ity  a  wealthy  lady,  who  had.  out  of  lu'r  own  money, 
built  a  church,  and  furnished  it  :  she  invite(l  a  lady 
friend  oi'  hers  to  acc(tm|)any  her  to  church  oiu-  Lord's 
day.  as  she  e\|)ected  a  i'ull  choral  servit'c.  which,  in 
her  estiuuition  was  really  almost  divine.  The  Seotcdi 
lady  was  of  the  old  Presbyterian  school.  She  listeiu'd 
to  the  p<'ri'ormance  with  ureat  attention,  but  was  not. 
so  hliihly  enamored  with  thesonji'  service;  for  on  their 
way  honu'  she  was  asked  how  she  liked  tlu'  musicr 
and  sin^in^' ;  she  answered,  oh  very  p)od.  very  n'ood, 
very  bonny  ;  but  ah  my  huhlie,  it  was  an  awfii  way 
to  spend  the  Sabbath. 


r  ii"    ;tir 


1 


'l*nii|tt 


:\C} 


,11 K    ODD    M\N     AM 


xvinsTi.K-KntK. 

.     ,,,.,.,,     in  Scotltuul  a   u»vut 

Kn.lishrluurlu-s.  our  u.>    ;^^^,  ^^-i^.  „,,,,,   U.Uvc.-u    tlu" 


lii^    roat 


.ark    i^Un-n     .n.m.    -__  ,^,,i,.„,,  j.ovii.u  ol  ouv 

..av^ln.  sU'koul>uU-.  ,.  ^„^-,,,,iv  a..!  loyally  to 

Sn.t..lM-'l>»— '  ^' •':'  :    ..rtlu.SaUl.ailMlay. 


f'    -^-'•^'-^'•'■^''';;;;:  nlinoron.orU.oM 

..a.u.s  who..  -•'--  ;;;^„:,, .,,,.;,.,.  ai,ou,  .k. 

-vm'vship  of    ^»*'':'^^^*^  •,•„.••      lnaS-o,rl,  ko.,u- 
lh.aayiol..sr..nu.su-tlu     ^.         ^^^^^^.^^^    ^^^^,^^„,„, 

ai> -^    :>'''r""';        a      auU.      lno.k.toU.t 

patuMUvva.>n   aan..  >  ;  Ui.n  to  .kisll..  a^ 


•ill  '^  ■  1  •     •.,,i>     (   c-iirt'O      lom    •■■ 

lis ..ii'-'  '';•■  ;■'';;':   ,■„■„,„  ..r  i^^ >.vs. 

on  («oa  >  l>l*    ^  '  Jni'UlM-'    owl:-. 

ir  <i-v -■"• '''>''f 'Hn? h,a i..nvu..w.v.  ■■""■>' 

«iti.^'-' -'■"'•'';;:.:,,;,,.:,,,,.  i.i.-..is.uu,,,i,; 


•1 


ri 


(.(>i>-ii:ai!1N(;   lai)> 


'>i 


AD    \VIllSKi;v 


hn<l  tlu- 
■k  in:>i>. 


K'* 


II      tlU" 


|vcr  was. 


Ml    (11    < 


iii\' 


alli  «lav. 


It'll      It'H 


;\Vt'U 


r.    :i 


iH'iiutifnl  ; 

llx.Ul       ill*' 


lis     II 


on 


i.lcli  hos|>i- 
>ur!j:'i'ons 
Icari'il  llu' 
,.,lt«r  lo  trst 
wliislK".  as 
is  miisclfs. 
ii'prisf.  and 
lU'h  a  tli'm.iJ;' 


I'kiiiii  l'»\v 


ru'c  '» 


r  tlu-m, 


man    n 


(M 


All  cMcrly  cliict'  of  a  iioltic  clan  ui\('s  ii>  a  uood 
view  of  tlic  ^^l•i(•tll('ss  of  Sabbat  li  observance  aiiioiiu- 
Ills  people,  and  of  tlic  li'i'eat  laxity  on  otlnT  iiiattei's. 
To  a  t'l'iciid  tVoiii  allot lier  elan,  he    said   onr  I'olk  are  a 


(iod-feariii    i'olk    here,    said    Donald .      Ini    ,i!lad 

lo  hear  that  said  Mr.  M.  ()ii.  aye  sir.  (U'vA  they  ai'e  ; 
ami  I'll  liie  you  an  instance  on  it.  Last  Sabbath., 
jii.-t  as  the  Kirk  \\a<  skalin.  (dismissed),  there  \\a>  a 
didN'er  eliield  j-'red  D.iiiifries  coomin  aloiiii'  the  loaii 
whistlim:'.  and  looking!'  as  happy  as  il'  was  the  middle 
of  la>t  week.  W'eel  sir.  (tor  lads  i.-  a  (iod-learin  set  o 
lads,  and  aws  lliey  were  coomin  odi  o  the  Kirk,  od 
lliev    x'okil    upon    hill),  and    amoost    killed    him.      Mr. 


imiuireil      1 1 


he\       were       no 


I        d 


riiiil 


assault  a  lone  lad  on  ihe  public  ImliIiw  ay  ■.■'  W'eel. 
well.'"  sir.  said  honald.  ••  I'll  no  >ay.  but  it  may  be 
they     were.       They     a'nio.-l    killed    him."      ••Depend 


uiioii     It.       >ai 


I    Mr.     M 


II 


a    l>ad    thinu'. 


wlii>kv 


N\'eel.    Ill    no  sa\'    but    il     maw    addinii' 


ilh  an  emphasis,  especially  baad  whisky 


(»i»i)rni;s  oi'  ckiia'C   mi;n, 


I  nere  are  many  amiisiiin'  leatures  iioled  in  tlic  Ii\es 
of  (iiir  '/real  nia>iers  in  all  departments  ol'  science 
and  of  soiil:'.  Aiiber  wrote  lii.~  bi'>l  essavs  on  liorM'- 
baek.  Il  was  iioi  piissible  for  him  to  write  in  any 
oilier   place  than    Paris.  Meyerbeer  composed    his 

.p|i,.{l  best  pieces  of  niiisic  duriiii:'   the  most  violent    tluindei'- 

Idv.  •'IIh'V  >lonii.  Salieii    Liaini'tl    his     inspii-ation    while    he 

j(,|,.^|,_"  walked  tpiielly  ihrouuh  the  .-ireeis  lillee  with  a  iliroiiu- 


I'' 
['  I'll  ''  lllll.- 

"■■IH|i, 


38 


rHK    ODD    MAN     AND    HIS    ODDI'IIKS. 


(»r  liiiinan  hciiiu's.  niciiDtiiiic  cntiiii:  a  (|iiantity  of 
coiirccticms.  —  llnydcn.  that  [xvv',\t  inastor  of  music, 
in  (irdcr  fo  coinposc.  sat  in  a  soft  arm  chair,  with  his 
eyes  I'aiscd  heavenward.  -  (JlucU  composed  his 
master|)ieces  in  llie  open  aii\  ont  in  \\\v  (dear  sunshine. 
lie  u'l'sticnhited  ycvy  vioh'nily.  as  it'  he  were  aclinu' 
on  the  stan'c.  —  Ihuuhd.  wanih'i'ed  olV  into  the 
chni'chyard,  and  sat  down  in  one  corner  nnder  the 
weepinu'  willow's  shade.  —  .Mo/arl.drew  his  inspi- 
ration IVoni  readinii'  Homer.  Dante.  Petracdi  etc. 
—  N'erdi  must  read  jtassaiics  from  Shakespeare. 
(Joethe.  Schiller.  Ossiaii.  and  N'ictor  IIuii'o. 
Sidnller  inspired  his  mnse  l»y  the  snudl  id'  rotten 
apple.-  which  he  kepi  constantly  in  his  desk  :  hesidi-s 
this,  he  liked  to  lixc  annd  siirroundinu's  correspond- 
ing!' to   the>idiiect   noon    \\hi(di    he  worked.      When  he 


w  role  I  he    las'i  act    o 


.M; 


ir\   M  uart .      lie    li:i(l  lii<  ser 


\anl.-  (dothcd  in  l)la(d<  ;  and  >o  Icinu'  a.--  he  worked  on 
^Vallenstein  he  neL;'lecteil  nn  review,  or  other  militarv 
s|)eci;Mdc  :  and  at  home  his  wil'e  mnst  sinu;'  haltle 
piec<-  to  him.  (loeilie  l(i\ed  to  Iia\'e  |)lastic  works 


d'   art     Itefore     him    a>    he    \\rol( 


•lean 


rani 


re 


|denislied  his  ideas  while  takini!  a  walk.  In  wrilinu' 
he  lo\('d    ihe    stroni:'    snndl    id'    llowcrs.  Ilerr    von 

Kloi.-t  woiked  with  i^rcat  dilHculfy.  and  when  wi'ilinu 
poetry  it  was  a.-  il'  he  had  a  contest  with  an  inxisihie 
liend.  .Milltin.    when    coinposinn    iIkisc    nialcdiiess 

|MM'ms.  nsed  to  snrrcndei'  himselj"  to  the  nndtinu' 
inllnen<'e  (d'  the  harp  and  the  oruan.  ('nrran.  when 
he  had  I'ldly  mastered  his  hriid"  and  his  case,  and  sal 
down  to  think  it  all  over,  took  his  vi(din.  or  small 
harp,  and  for  hours  he    would   seem  to  I'orn'et  himseH', 


'^■Pl 


ODDITIKS    OF    (iltKAT    MKX, 


ity  ol 
music, 
ith  his 


K'(i 


Ins 


Inslnnc. 
iictinu' 
Jlto  tlic 
<l('i-  the 
is  iii.-|»i- 
icli  etc. 
.I'spciirc. 


Ill    I'oltcn 


hCSKlfS 


i'i'('S|i(»n(l 


lini  lie 


W 

(I  his  scr 


iorUiMi  ("1 


r  III 


ilit 


iiv 


112      IcittM' 

-tic  woi'Us 

Wlllll 


rc- 


II  wnliim' 


il 


en    von 


'II  wnliiiu' 

1  iiivisihh- 

iiiiilchh'ss 

Itiiiii' 


(•      IIU 


nm,  wiH'ii 
■(c.  iiiid  Sill 
I.  or  siiiiill 
'I  hiiiif'cir, 


■% 


runiniii>'  over  those  liiand  ohl  Hebrew  melodies,  which 
inspired  and    inviu'orated   all    the   powers  oP  his  mind 


aiKi 


w 


1  |)re|)ared  him  for  his  efforts  at   the  hi 


ir 


Alii 


ere 


ho  wroti'  for  the  staiic,  says  ho  used  to  pre|)are  for 
his  mental  eff'orts  hy  music.  ''Almost  all  my  tra,t>e- 
dies.'"  he  says,  ••■vere  sketched  in  my  mind  either  iu 
the  act  of  hearinu'  music,  or  while  under  its  elevatinu' 
and  soothing'  power." — Lord  liacon  consulted  the 
muse>  while  in  his  most  profound  studies,  and  had 
music  |)laycd  in  the  loom  adjoining'  his  study.  Father 
Wieland  in  comjxisinu'  his  poems  trilled  a  lively  sonu', 
and  sometimes  would  sprinu'  away  from  his  W(U'k  and 
<'iit  a  caper  in  the  air.  Hui'^'cr.  the  immortal  poet  of 
Leoiiore.  is  said  to  have  whistled  street  sonii's  as  he 
wrote  his  verses  on  |)a|)er.  Ilolderlin  was  often  cryint; 
w  lien  he  composed  jiis  poems.  Lafontaine's  wife  once 
found  her  hushand  swimming'  in  tears  as  he  wrote  his 
poems.  Mattisoii  wi'ole  his  poems  l>y  moonlight  while 
slandinii'  near  a  window.  Lamartine  wrote  his  hest 
thiii^i's  in  the  niorninu'  before  breakfast,  while  sitting 
before  a  tire.  A  contemporary  ol'  Dumas  wrote  thus: 
"The  wrilinu  d(>sk  of  ,\le.\ander  Dumas  presents  a 
picture  of  classical  disorder.  'I'he  study  lloor  is  cov- 
ered with  books  and  papers,  behind  which  he  is  seated 
formally  barricaded.  Also  a  (|uaiilily  (»f  cats,  dons, 
poultry.  piLi'cons  and  siniiinu  birds  are  to  be  seen 
ni'ound,  and  these  he  feeds,  strokes  and  kec|)s  (tut  of 
inischi(  f  while  writing',  in  tin-  backa'i'ound  stand  a 
number  of  |>rintei's'  devils  wailinii  for  copy,  llo 
writes  wry  rajiidly.  and  cari'ics  on.  very  often,  a  con- 
versation   at    ihe    same    time.       lie    is    verv   iieii'liycnt 


in 


hisd 


ress. 


p  ■ 


40 


THK    Onn    MX^    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


cHAiTEi:  ni, 


Tlie  iincioiit  (Jreoks  iittsiched  yvcat  iiii[»(>rtanc('  to> 
HiUiK's.  Phitd  roconiiiuMids  parents  to  he  careful  to 
'/w'v  happy,  jdeasant  names  to  their  ehihhvn:  and  the 
Pvthaji'oreans  thouu'ht  lliat  the  minds,  actions,  and 
success  of  men  were  hu'iicly  iidhienced  hy  the  names 
they  hoi-e.  The  lionuins  tauLi'ht  the  same  thinu".  and 
were  strongly  impressed  with  the  same  'uU\i.  J3oiiwn, 
voiiiett  omev  liecame  a  popuhir  maxim  amonu'  them. 
To  seh'ct  bono  noniimi  was  always  an  ohject  of  s(dici- 
tn<h'.  and  it  was  enouuh  to  hli^ht  a  man's  prospects 
for  life  if  he  hore  a  name  »d'  evil  import. 

.Ml  names  were  originally  siiiiiilicant .  and  were 
always  hestowed  hy  the  llehrews  and  the  (i reeks  with 
reference  to  their  well-uiulerstcMid  meaning'.  Sometimes 
they  were  historical,  and  usually  commemorative  of 
some  incident,  or  circumstanceconnected  with  the  hirth 
of  the  individual  hearinu  them;  as  M<tses.  drawn  out  of 
the  water;  Thomas,  a  twin;  Mains.  May;  this  latter 
name^jfiveii  usually  to  one  horn  in  that  month;  Septimus, 
the  seventh.  In  other  cases  the  name  uiven  was  ex- 
pressive of  some  as|)irations.  desires  ur  hopes  <d"  the 
parents;  as  N'ictor.  one  who  concpn-rs;  Prohus.  truth- 
ful ;  l*\dix,  ha|tpy  ;  liencilict,  hiessed.  \'ciy  often 
(hey  were  descriptive  ol'  personal  (pialities;  as  Macros, 
tall;  Pyrrhus,  ruddy;  ilid'us,  red  haired.  Names  an- 
as important  ami  sionidcMut  now  as  they  were  in  the 
(he  days  of  Isaiah,  (U'  of   Plato  ;   hut  we  iuiiorantlv,  or 


carelesslv  niisapi) 


Iv  tl 


lem. 


II 


eiu'c  so  nuiiiv 


oifd 


name 


NAMi;s. 


41 


tliicc  t<>> 
Irofiil   t<i 

iiiid  tlu' 

lis.  and 
('  iiaiii('> 
inu'.  tuid 

lionwn 
<i'    tlu'iii. 

)!'  solici- 
|)r(»s»)('('t.'^ 

Mild  wcro 
(H'ks  witli 
Mmictinu's 
)ia(ivc  <d' 

I  the  Uii'tli 
wii  out  of 
this  hitter 
Scptiimis, 

II  was  cx- 
)('s  ol"  the 
HIS.  triith- 
I'ly  (d'teii 
IS  Macros, 
Sanies  are 
I'le  in  the 
iraullv,  or 
>(/</ names,. 


most  oi*  them  ab<urd  misnomers.  Lei^h  Hunt  says,  a 
man  with  the  names  we  often  meet  iniLdit  as  well,  to 
all  undei'stood  purposes,  he  ealled  sj)oon,  or  Hat-band; 
Blaiu'he,  is  now  not  at  all  tlu;  flaxen-haired  blonde 
whi<'h  her  name  imlicates.  Isabel,  is  no  lonju'er  brown, 
she  is  bloiidt'.  Oddly  ciioiiuh,  the  names  have  both 
ln'cii  misapplied.  Ceeilia,  (uray-eyed )  belies  her  name 
and  lets  Hy  the  arntwsof  love  and  tenderiu'ss  i'-om  orbs 
of  heavenly  blue.  lu'beeea,  who  ouiiht  to  lie  some- 
what t'liilionpoiiit.  rounded  "  with  beauty,""  as  the  poet 
|)iits  it.  is  a  slender  iily-liUe  maiden  much  better  suit  • 
iiiLi'  the  name  of  Susan. 

It  may  interest  my  readers  to  ])reseiit  a  fi'W  ))er- 
soiial  names  of  our  boys  and  liirls  in  this  eoiintry, 
etynioloiiical.    historical   ami   poetical. 

Ai>A  comes  from  ilu'  Saxon  Kdith.  Kaditli,  Eade, 
Ada  siii'iiities  happy,  PtyroiTs  only  daULihter  was 
named  Ada.      liyroii  ask>: 

'■  Is  lliy  I'ace  like  tliy  inotlier's  my  fair  cliild.  .Vda?" 

A  i>i;i,Aii)i:  is  ol'  (Jermaii  derivation  and  means,  a 
princess.      I'roetor  says: 

"  \  little  maid 
(Joldi'ii  tressed  .\delaide.'" 

Adeline  is  only  a  dill'ereiit  i'oriii  oi'  the  same  name. 
Ti'iinysoii  asUs. 

"  What  ailetli  I  lieeV— Whom  wailest  thou, 
Witii  thy  sol'teiied,  shadowed  iirow, 
\\u\  I  hose  dew  lil  eyes  of  thine, 
'I'lioii  laiiil  siuiler,  Adeline?  " 

.\<iA'i"ii A,  means  nood,  it  is  a  (Jrt'(d<  word. 
.V(;ni;,>^,  chaste,  is  also  from  the  (ireid;,  ami  is  (»ne 
id'  the  best  naiiie>  in  use  aiiioiui'  us. 


I 

'-■Hlj...,! 

'    nil' -a! 


42 


THE    ODD    MAN     AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


Alfred   is  Saxon.  siLrnityiiiM-  all  peace.     It  is  a 

good  name,  and  should  be  a  Favorite  ainon^  us,  boast- 

iufj:  as  we  do  of  (nu-  Analo-Saxon  deseent.  and  tracing 

some  of  our  tVee  institutions  to  King  Alfred  the  Great 

who  revived  the  Hebrew   institutions  of  our  ancestors. 

Ai.D'iA.  or  Alice  is  from  the  Latin,  and  means  noble. 

Ft    is  one  of    (»ur   sweetest    t'emah'    names.      Tennyson 

asks. 

"O  tliat  1  were,  Ix'sidc  licr  now, 
()  I  will  slin  Miiswcr  if  1  Ciiir.' 
()  I  would  she  i^ivc  inc  vow  I'or  vow, 
Sweet  Alice,  if  I  lold  li(>rall." 

Amui.ia.  or  Amelie  comes  tVom  tlie  l''rench  Aimee 
and  means  beloved.  Amy.  or  Aimie.  and  I^niiy  have 
the  same  (h-rivation  ami  meaning.  ()ur  vocabulary 
contains  no  sweeter,  or  more  lovcablc  name.  Ilai)|)y 
i>  she  who  beai's  a  mime  lull  of  such  sacred signiti<'an<;e, 
and  happy  the  man  who  is  privileged  to  whisj)er  in  hei* 
ear  as  the  highest  word  of  cmlcarmcnt  .\mie.  or  Emily, 
beloved  ! 

Anna,  or  .\nnic.  is  the  llcbicw  Hannah,  and 
means  kind  oi-  gracious. 

Ahaukm.a.  or  the  French  .\rabclle.  has  a  I.,atin 
derivation,  and  has  the  meaning  of  beautiful  altar. 
Before  no  place  of  sacrilicc  bend  dcviuitcr  worshippers: 

"  Melle,  Arnbellii,  Belle. 
Fiurer  tliiui  my  verse  enii  lell  ; 

Well 
I  love  tliee,  .Vridielle — 

Helle!" 

Airoi'HTl's.  is  from  the  Latin,  and  signilies  "  in- 
creased." it  implies  that  those  who  were  so  named  con- 


1  f' 


N.VMi;s. 


43 


.  It  is  a 
IS,  hoast- 
(1  tracing 
tilt'  (irreat 
iiiK'o.stors. 
ins  noble. 
Pcnnvsou 


iH'h  Ainiee 
Iniily  have 
vo(';il)nlary 
>.  Happy 
iiiiitieanee, 
sper  in  lier 
.  or  Emily, 

innnli.   and 

las  a  Latin 
til'nl  altar, 
orsliippcrs: 


liiiiiies  "■  in- 
named  con- 


tinnally  urew  in  power  and  lionoi'.  Its  Teminine  form 
is  An<iusta. 

Baldwin,  m  hold  winner;  is  a  fine  name  <if  the 
old  Saxon  sonii'. 

Baiji'.aha.  is  of  Latin  derivation,  and  siunitie.s, 
stranu'e  or  foreitiii.  Its  mention  recalls  to  mind  the 
melancholy  fate  of  Jemmy  (Irove  of  hallad  memory 
who  died  of  a  broken  heart  { [)oor  fellow.) 

■'  Fertile  love  of  Barbara  Allen." 

l>Asii,.  moans  kindly,  is  oi'  (lre(d<  oi'iuin.  .\ii  un- 
popnlar  mune  in  these  repnhlican  times. 

l>i;\'n{i(i:  is  di'i'ived  from  the  Latin,  and  means 
one  wlio  l)le>ses  oi-  maki's  happy.  P>lessed  he  the  man 
on  whom  she  smiles.  No  name  can  he  more  appro- 
priate I'or  a  lovely  and  atl'ecti(»nate  womiin.  Dante  has 
immortalized  it.  Shakspeare  and  Sh(dly  have  thi'own 
aroniid  it    the  charm   of  their  ver>e. 

Bi;n.ia>iin  is  a  hue  old  Ilehrew  nanu',  it  means 
••  the  man  of  my  nu'ht  hand."  It  has  heen  home  by 
men  of  renown,  amonji'  whom  were  -lonson  and 
l"'ranklin. 

l5i:i:iiiA.  means  hrinht.  oi' famons.  comc>  from  the 
<  I  reek. 

Hi  \N(  A.  is  the  Italian  foi-m  of  IJlanche  and  mean.s 
white  or  fair.      It  is  a  sweiM  name  in  both  forms. 

('ai.isia.  means  beantifnl.  is(Jreek. 

(" A'ni.MMM:.  or  Katherine.  is  derived  from  the 
( I  reek,  means  pure  and  chaste,  and  is  one  of  the  best 
of  our  female  mimes.  In  Irish  it  becomes  Kathle(>n. 
In  Flemish.  Kalaline.  .\  pretty  diminutive  of 
Catharine  is   Katharina;   l)ut   it  is  a  greater  favorite  in 


u  "!.'■  'Ill'  k. 

-in 

■a 


'"h'f! 


I!  I  , 


I 


u 


TIIK    ODD    MAN     AM)    HIS    ODKITIKS. 


its  fainiliari/('(l  foriii  ut'  Kate.      Who  over  kiii'v.  a  Kate 

\vli(»  \va8  not  frolicksoiMc.  miscliicvoiis  and  san<•v^   'Plu- 

|K»('t  says. 

■'  Kate  ;i  sweet.  l)iit  siiucy  ereatiii'e. 
Witli  ii  li])  of  scnrlel  l)Iooiii  : 
>Vo()(ll)iiies  sippinii'  u'oMcii  simliii'lit. 
Hoses  (Iriiikiiii:-  I'icli  iierfiiiiic: 
N'oice  ;is(l;iiiity  as  the  wliisper 
i''oui\ts  i;ive  ill  tlieir  erystal  shfiiie. 
Saucy  Kate,  so  full  ormiscliiel'. 
Would  I  hat   1  eoiiM  c-ili  Ihee  mine." 

( 'ii  Ai:i,i;s.  Sonic  ctymoloLiisls  dixinc  tlii>  illu>- 
ti'ious  iKunc  tVoni  the  ilcrniaii  Kai'l  :  .\  iiL;h>-S;i\oii 
("corl.  a  woi-il  (h'tnitini;  ni>!icity. 

Its  ti'iic  oi'i^iii  is  round  in  the  Shivonic  Krol.  a 
kiiiu'.  Thus  I\r(d.  Koioj.  K:irolu>.  ("arohis.  ('hjii'h-s. 
Ki'ol  may  have  Clinic  I'l'oui  the  Latin  ( 'oi'olhi.  or  cn»\\  ii. 
Chai'h's.  then  i>  a  kin^i'.  one  who  i>  crowned.  This 
scciiis  an  approiuiale  >iLiiiilicatioii  !'or  a  iiitnic  which  has 
l)ccn  horiic  hy  so  many  Kiniis  and  l'aii|icrors.  ('hiirh-s 
S(»iu('timcs  is  seen  in  this  count ry  in  its  S|)aiiish  t'orin. 
Carhts.  Charlotte  is  one  ol'  the  reminiiic  I'orms  ol' 
Chiirh's  and  means  a  <iuccii.  .\ll  ('harhtttcs  may  lie 
(|Uc('iis  of  hivc.  and  a>  such  must  [irevail  o\cr  the 
hi'ai'ts  of  men. 

"  My  ( 'harlot  I e  coii(|Uers  w  illi  a  smile. 
Ami  reiunclli  i|Ueeli  ol'  lo\  e." 

('Aitoi.iNi;  is  ariotiu'r  feinininc  form  ol'  ('hsiilc.-. 
('aroliiic  assumes  the  familiari/ed.  or  [»et  forms  (d' 
(  arric,  (  allic.  (  aro  and  ( 'al. 

CiiAKLoiri;  hiys  !isi(h'  her  (|ucenshi|>.  and  hi'comi'.- 
^^ontlc  Lotti(>. 


NAMKS. 


45 


'\\  ji  Kate 
lU'V-    11'^' 


tiii>   illii-- 

ul(i-S;i\nll 
lie    K  I'ol .   il 

<.  Charlo. 

or  ci'iiw  11. 

ir.l.        This 

■  which  h:i> 
i.  ('hiirh'> 
iiish    i'tinii. 

■  I'oriiis  of 
cs  iiiiiy  l>t' 
I    nwv    tlu' 


.1"    Cliiirh-s. 
t     foriiis    t»t' 

iiiid  hecttiiK'.- 


Diiiiuond  bri.uht  sluiU  Cliwu  wciir. 
Woven  "mid  Ik'I"  sliiuinu'  li:iir.'" 

1)\mi;l.  a  jiuIlic  i^  IVoiii  the  llchvcw. 

David,  al.-c  «'oiii('s  froiii  tlic    llrhivw.      It  uifaiis, 

vvfll  hchivctl. 

|)i:i;()i:aii.  >iLinifyiiii:- a   \)vv.  is  aiiothiM'  .liood    hut 
Ihmiu'Iv  iKiinc  rroiii  the  Ilchrcw  >t(ick. 

i;;i)\v AIM),  means  truth  keeper. 

Kdwin.  happy  winner,  eoiues  froni  thcSaxon. 
M  Im.i-.anoi;     IVoiii     the     l-'reueh.       Kh'auore    is  of 

Saxiin  (iri,L;in  and  si::niiii's  all  fruit  I'ul. 

••  Kleaiiore, 
A  iiiniK    lor  inmcl'-  !•)  inurmui'  o'er." 

I'^MMA.  teiKh'i'.  alTeetioiiate.  (literally  one  who 
iiur>e>.  enres  for.  \\atehe>  over  another)  is  of  ( ierinan 
origin.  Who  eould  desir.'  his  mother.  si>ter.  or  liishe- 
j,,vt'd  to  Iteai'  a  sweeter  ..r  a  hetler  name?  Kmeliiie  is 
-imph'  a  diminutive  of    Kiniiia. 

10l!A>Ml>  is  from    the   (lre(d<    and  means  heloved. 
IsUM.si'.      Kriiest    is    derived    from   the  (iernian. 
ll>  feminine  form  i-  lOriu'stine. 

Kidl'.Ni;.    nobly    ileseendeij.    is    from    the    (JreeU. 
KuM'enia  is  the  feiiiiiie  form. 
gte  I''i;aN(1s  is  of  ( lermaii  origin   and   siuiiiHcs  frank 

and  fret'.      iM'aiiees.  of   which   I'^aiiny    is  the  pet  name, 
is  the  feminine. 

FuKUKiMCK  means  ricdi.  peace. 
(;i:(>i{«iK,  a  fanner,   is  from  the  ( ire  "k.      (ieorjfiia. 
{leoriTctta  aiiid  ( u^oruiaiia  arc  its  fcniiiiiiic  forms. 

( JKHriiini':    is    from    ihc    (icniian.    >ioiiilics    all 
truth. 


ii 


4r, 


rili;    <»l)l>    MAN     AND    Ills    (>l)|)l  riKS. 


(litAci;  iiiciiiis  fjivor.       Well  may  it  \)v  a  favorite 
iiaiiic.      •  •(  "oiiiiih'IkI  iiic  to  the  (Iraccs:"' 

"Vo\i  iiiiiy  toiisl  yoiii'  cliiirming  Sue, 
I'raisc  your  .Mary's  eyes  of  Itluc, 
(:|ioos<"  wliatcvcr  name  you  will, 
Voiir  liincy  or  your  vcrst;  to  lill; 
111  niv  line  rm  name  has  place 
iJiit  llic  s\vcct<'st  one  of  (Trace."' 

I1i:!,i;n  (Latin  Helena,  l*'i'eiicli  Ileleiie)  is  of 
(ireeU  oi'iiiiii.  I'lie  true  ineauiuu'  seems  to  he  a  vexed 
(|Ueslion.  ( )iie  etynioloLi'ist  says  it  meant  alliiiin;:'; 
anotliei'  uuiUes  it  mean  a  •'takei'/'  one  who  "seizes:" 
whih'  a  third  (h'liiies  it  as  one  who  ••|)ities."  Manv 
an  unrortnnat<'  lover  I'onnd  Helen  allniin<:.  and  has 
tinally  heen  seized,  taken  ami  ('on(|uere(l  by  her  briiiht 
eves  and  sweet  \oiec.  IIa|t|»y  he  who  Hnds  her  one 
who  pities,  I'or  pity  is  akin  to  \i)\v.  l*Mlen  is  a  dilVer- 
ent  i'orm  of  the  same  name.  !l  is  ol'ten  eontrae(e(l  to 
Nellie  and  Ni'li.  and  is  a  line  name  in  all  its  forms. 

I1|':m:v.  means  rich  lor(l.  is  of  (ierinan  oi'iu'in. 
It  has  heen  borne  by  many  kiiius.  noblemen  and 
patriiiis.  In  its  i'annliari/,e(l  form  it  becomes  llarrv. 
Its  feiininnaiious  are  Henrietta,  Heiirica  and  Harriet, 
who.  since  they  cannot  be  rich  lords,  should  be  riidi 
ladies. 

IsAUi'.i.  siuinties  olive  oi'  brown  in  eoinple.\ion. 
This  is  just  the  mime  for  a  bonny  brunette;  the  [)()et 
siniis  thus: 

"(rive  Mie  tiie  l)i()Wii  ix'\v\  with  the  lui^ht,  sunny  s'^'W." 
There    is  a   silvery,  birddike  music   in    the  name 
whitdi  is  cKceediii^ly  attnictive,  aiul  whicdi  has  made  it 
a  favorite  with  tlu'  |)oets.      One  says: 


iM 


w 


NAMKS. 


47 


favorite 


ic)    is    (if 

!■  a  vcxod 

tillnriii^i'; 

"sci/A's;"' 

Many 

.  and  has 

uT  hriiilit 

s   her  one 

s  a  (lilTcr- 

tracK'tl  to 

I'oi'nis. 

HI    origin. 

I'lncn    and 

cs  Harry. 

I   Harriet, 

Id  \)v  rich 

nipU'xion. 
;   the  poet 

\y  ,i;l()\v." 
the  iiuino 
us  nuidc  it 


"Full  many  maidens  names  there  lie. 

Sweet   to  tlieo, 

Fair  to  me, 
And  beautiful  exeeediugly; 
Hut  none  on  my  ear  so  sweet  doth  swell 
As  the  name  of  mine  own  Isabel." 

Jamios  comes  fi'oni  the  oh!  llehi'ew  stock  and.  is 
•generally  supposed  to  l)e  the  same  as  flacoh.  The? 
French  .Jacdues.  the  Spaiusli  .lavnie,  the  Italian  Gia- 
conio,  Scotch,  daniie.  are  the  same  luime. 

.foiix  comes  from  tiie  Hehrew,  means  tiracioiis. 
Th(;  Latin,  dnvenis;  the  Italian,  (iiovanni;  in  the 
Spanish,  duan.  and  in  the  h'reneii.  dean.  Ir  lias  l)eou 
tlu' name  of  some  oi'  tiie  "greatest  men  tlie  world  has 
ever  produced,  such  ;is  Milton.  llam[>den,  Calvin, 
Locke,  Dryden.  Wesley,  II(»wai'd.  ^ioliel•e,  Hancock 
an<l  .Vdams.  W'e  cannot  hut  sympathize  with  the 
huuent  of  an  uid'ortunate  hearer  of  tljrd  ancient  and 
honoi'cd.  hut  much  al)used  innne     - 

"Wliy  did  llii'V  c.-dl  me  .lolm,  1  say, 

Why  did  they  call  me  .lolm? 
It's  surely  just  I  lie  meauesl  name 

They  could  have  hit  uponi 
Heeauw  my  father  had  it  too, 

And  sulfered  for  the  same, 
Is  that  a  pro[)er  reason  he 

Should  propagate  the  n:.    leV" 

Tlie  English  peo[)le  convert  the  mime  into  flack, 
and  tiie  Scotch  iido  Jock,  neither  of  which  is  either 
eieji^ant  or  jrentoel. 

Judith  means  the  same  as  diidah,  praise. 

JuLiUH  means  soft  haired,  comes  from  the  Latin, 
didia,  Juliet,  Jiilietta  and  .Iidianna  are  feminizations 


BtilSWr  Twiriii' 


'Nv 

■*• 

')ii 

»ti 

■1 

* 

II  It 

••4ti< 

n 

.. 

4S 


TIIK    <)l)l>    MAN    AND    Ills    ODIHTIKS. 


! 


"41 


of  fliiliiis.  and  tlicv  all  should  wear  on  their  <|U('('idy 
lu'ads  ''soft  and  silkvn  trcssos.'"  Julia  nc(,'ds  no 
(Miloirist.  since  she  is  one  whoui  the  poets  have  iinnior- 
tali/,ed.  .lulietta  oi'  duliet  is  a  diminutive  of  .Julia. 
I)ut  has.  as  Talbot  I'emarks.  apparently  united  itself 
with  another  name,  doliette.  the  diminutive  of  .loliet. 
which  means  pit'tty. 

liAiMi'iA  means  joy.  a  ^^ood  old  Koman  name. 

^[ai;i:i,  is  ju-ohably  I'rom  M<t  _Bell<(.  my  fair;  some 
think  it  a  coulraction    of    uDiahelifi,  lovely  oi'  amiable. 

Madi'.i.ini;    comes    from    the    Syriac    Maydeline. 

maLinilicent.       It  is  nobl(>  name  and  a  favorite  with  the 

poeis.      ll>  l-'rench  fi»rm  is  Madeline.      Tennyson  says: 

" 'I'Ikmi  art  not  sl('('|)i'(l  in  n'oldcii  laiigiiois, 
\o  traiict'd  suimncr  ciliii  is  tliiiie, 
Mvcr  varying  .Madciiiic." 

Mau'I'II'i  comes  from  the  Hebrew,  and  means  hit- 
terne>. 

M\i;v.  tlie  sweetest  of  all  female  names,  is  from 
the  Hebrew  and  mean-  exalted.  It  i,- a  famon.-  name 
both  in  sacred  and  st-cular  in  all  states  it  has  been  liter- 
ally e.\alte(l. 

■■  'I'iie  very  nuisicor  tlic  name  lias  udiie 
Into  our  l)ciny'." 

In  the  I'^cnch  .Mary  become>  .Maria. 

"  Istliy  name  Mary.  Maiden  fair? 

Swell  should,  UK'  lliinUs,  its  nuisie  he. 
Tiie  sweetest  name  thai  mortals  t)ear 

Is  l)ut  i)etittin<i'  tlicel  " 

MiiiANDA      means     admired:     Mira.     wonderful. 
Prince  l'\'rdinand.  in  "  The  Tem[)est,"  exclaims: 
"Admired  ^lirand!     Indeed  the  ion  of  admiration," 


NA.MKS. 


49 


V  (jiu'iMily 
lU'i^iU  no 
:e  iminor- 
oV  .liilisi. 
ited  itself 
of  ,I(»lii't. 

luinu'. 
fair;  sonn' 
)!•  amiabit'. 
MaytU'liiH'. 
tr  with  tlu' 
iiysou  sayr-: 
lors. 


means  I'it- 

lues.  is  from 
umoiis  nann' 
\s  lu'cn  litiT- 


(•    lU'. 


wondei'ful. 
xclaiins: 
iviratioii," 


U()15i:i:t.  cojucs  fiMiu  the  old  An^lo-Saxon  words 
ro  or  ru,  lod.  and  bco't,  heard,  rod-heard;  so  says 
Talhot. 

IloMKo,  a  [)ilu'rini,  from  the  Italian. 

Kr'rii  is  from  the  llehi-e\v  and  si^iiiities  a  tretr.- 
hler. 

S.'vHAii.  a  princess,  comes  from  the  llehrew.  In 
[)oetry  and  sonu'  it  is  chanued  to  Sally  or  Saliie. 

Sophia  means  wisdom,  is  (Iretdv 

SrsAN  means  lily  and  is  of  the  llehrew.  The 
pet  name  is  Sue. 

TiiK()i>()i:i';  is  a  fine  en])honic  name  from  the 
(ireek  and  siunities  ••(lift  ofdod.""  The  fennnine 
form  is  Theodora. 

"jSince  we  know  Iht  tor  an  ;tn,i;el, 
Bearing  meek  llic  connnon  load. 

].vt  ns  call  her  Tlicodoni. 
Gift  of  God." 

\'i<)F..v.  a  violet,  is  derived  from  tlu-  Latin.      Vi)V 
-<i  pure,  modest,  hashfnl  maiden. 
;  \\\\i/ri:i;  nutans  a  woodsman. 

\\'ii.i,i.\M  is  of  ( Jerman  derivation  and  means 
defender  of  many.  This  name,  says  \'ereste_ti'an,  the 
distinunisheil  French  anticjuarian,  was  not  ji'iven  to 
children,  hut  was  a  title  of  diu'inty  imi)osed  upon  men 
who  had  distinu'uished  themselves  as  of  superior 
merit.  NN'hen  a  (Jerman  had  won  high  honiu's  in  the 
Held  of  conflict,  the  tiolden  helmet  was  placed  upon  his 
head,  and  he  was  honored  with  the  title  of  (Jildhelni, 
or  ji'olden  helmet,  and  was  hailed  as  a  defender.  With 
the  French  the  title  was  (luildhaume.  aftewards  Guil- 


■'"-'"ssssaaE'jre  -.irr ':  ■ 


fe- 


'I 

:   ■''!|l»|. 


50 


THi:    ODD    MAN    AND    Ills    ODDITIKS. 


:m 


I 


l;ulm(^  TIu^  (Icrniiiii  I'dniior  Williiuii  is  now  Williclin. 
W'illu'liiiiiiu  ;iii(l  Wiliaiiuttc  hit  the  IViniiiiiie  I'ornif-. 

"Wliiifs  ill  II  iiiiinc? 
Iiniiiiii,  .•iiiimi,  vultiis.  vitiic,  iioiniu' est  ? 
It  is  ;iii  iiiia^c  of  llic  soul,  the  face,  tlic  life." 

("(»M>i<tN  \\'()i:ds  i'i;()>i  Odd  Diiimva  iions. 

llrMi'.rc.  1^1  yiiiiil<i,2isis  say  this  word  coiucs  I'rdiii 
Jlunw  of  the  Hot/,  a  Scolcli  laird,  wlm  was  (•clclii'atcfj 
ill  l"](linlnir;:li  circles  lur  his  iiiar\chtiis  slorics.  Ilciicc 
any  toiiu'h  story  was  called  a  reiiiiiai'  '•lluiiieor  the 
ho;.';,"  and  hy  coiitraclioii   lIiiiiihiiL;-. 

('anon.  I'roiii  a  (ireek  wonl  lueaiiini:'  "  cane." 
Iii'st  a  hollow  rule  ns"d  as  a  iiiea>nre.  then  a  hiw  or 
ride.  The  word  is  identical  with  "cannon.""  so  caUed 
rroiii  ils  iiollow,  tiiiie-liUe  foriii.  Hence  it  was  said 
wittily  that  the  wurld  ie  t  he  iniddh'aucs  was  iioverned  hy 
canons  and  then  iiy  cannons — lirst  hy  Saint  I'eler,  ' 
then  l»y  salt    pet  re. 

1)1  .\ii'i:i;  is  a    coi'ru|)tioii    of  hhon  j>i  ri'..    nieaiiiiiLi' 


the  llolv   l'"alh 


er.      o 


r   ti'ood    lat  her.    or    1  o|)e.  wiiost 


lieahh  \\mh\  to  he  toasteil  alter  dinner  in  all  Catholic 
coimlrics.  as  in  I'hiuiand  they  drink  to  the  heaillior 
the    (hiceii.    ill    overllo 


wiiiLi'   L:la.>ses. 


A    I 


ainiper   is   a 


fi'lass  >o  I'lill  thai  the  lii|Uor  stands  swelling'  in  a  hmnp. 
A    l>iiiii|ier  must   i>e  iilicd  to  i  he  hriiii. 

I>>-i,\\\s  are  not.  etyiiioloLiically .  laws  of  inCcrioi' 
iiii|)ortance.  IhiI  laws  ol'  hyes.  or  towns,  as  distiu- 
^•iiishcd  I'ldin  the  i!'ciieral  laws  ol'  a  kin;;'doin.  "By" 
is  the  Daiiidi  word  for  town  or  village;  as  Whithy, 
Whiti'  town;   Derhv.  iV'cr  town,  etc 


ODD    WOKDS. 


61 


t'orms. 


■  lite. 

(»NS. 

oiurs  I'ntiu 
ci'lcltratod 
ics.  llclUH' 
urn'  «>r  the 

■u   !\    liiw  or 

/"    so  CilUt'*! 

it  was  salt  I 
n'ovcrni'd  l>y 
N\int    rctfi\ 

/•,,'.,  nioaninii' 
1N)|)('.  wliosc 
all  ratholic 
llu'  licalth  of 
l)i\uHH'i'  i"^  'I 
,n'  in  a  hninp. 

ws  of  inlVriov 

MS.    as   distiii- 

(lom.      "Uy" 
..  ;vs  \VUitl)y, 


lIrs'riN(.s.  TlutDj  is  the  iiaiiic  whicli  the  Danes 
^nvc  to  llu'ir  a>s('iiil)li(.'s  held  in  tlio  open  air,  as  our 
assoinhllc's  (tn  nomination  day.  Sonic  of  tiuMi"  sniallci- 
«ratlu'rin,<is  were  held  in  the  house  and  were  known  as 
Ilnstiniis.  nr  lI(Mi.-e  tilings. 

IlrsiiANit  eoiiies  tVoni  iiou^e  and  hand. 

I'asmrc — 
The  iiniiic  ul'  a  liushiuul,  wiial  is  i1  to  say. 
C)t  wilV  aii'l  the  liouscluild,  the  liaiid  and  llic  stay. 

( «i niii;i;isii.  I'' rum  a  I'anions  (Jiher,  an  Arab, 
wlut  sc'i^iit  ^i^iv  the  |»hil(»s(»[ihei's  stone  aiul  used  various 
sen.-eless  incantations. 

.\i.i;i;i'.  A  |)ietures(|ue  word  tVoni  the  Italian 
alVtri*^ — on  the  mound  oc  campart.  'I'lie  aU-rt  nuui  is 
oiu'  who  is  wide  awake  and  walehrul,  like  a  «;'ood  sen- 
tinel un  duly. 

Nici;  is  said  to  he  derived  IVom  the  Ani^lo-Saxou 
hiiese.  soft,  clVennnate;  hut  there  is  L;'(>od  reason  ('(U* 
helieviui:'  that  it  is  trom  tlie  Latin  /wsc/'oi/ti,  ignorant. 
('hau(HT  savs.  "Wise  and  nollnn:^  luee.""  It  is  a 
curious  instanee  (d'  the  i'\t raoi'dinary  ehanuesor  mean- 
ing' which  \\(U(ls  underlie)  that  "nice'"  sliuuld  conu'  to 
sinuily  aceurale,  or  fastidious,  whieii  im|»lies  knowl- 
edge and.  taste  rather  than  iL:norance.  The  e.\|»lana- 
lioii  is  that  the  dillidenee  of  iL;noraiice  I't'semhies  the 
fastidious  slow  iu'>s  id'  diseernmiMil . 

IIi(iti:No'i's  comes  fioiu  IIui:iienot,  a  small 
piece  of  money  whi(di  in  lheliuu'<d'  lluL;'o('apet  was 
Worth  less  than  a  denier.  In  a  tinu>  (d'  persecution 
some  lied  lhrouj;li  fear,  whereupon  some  of  their  coun- 
trymen saiil  they  were  pooi-  fidlows  not  worth  a 
lluu'iienot — whence  tlii'  nickname  in  ([Uestion. 


1 ;    ■)'<  II 


'*"%■ 

'».i:.i. 


52 


THK    <)1)|>    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDlTfKS. 


Pknsivi.  is  a  pit'turcsinic  word  {'voiw  peiisa^'e.  the 
\'\V([\w\\{n\\\(.'  o^ pe/idere,  to  \vei,i>li.  The  Ficiu-li  have 
pensec,  a  thought,  tlio  ivsiilt  of  iiuMital  woiaiiiiiu'.  A 
])oiisiv{'  tiuiii'c  is  that  in  which  a  person  ai)[)eai's  to  l)e 
hohlinu'  an  invisible  hahmct'  of  rc^U'ction. 

hiiJi-cii.i:.  I^'i'oin  the  Latin  /».  antl  JtaHbim.  a 
walking'  stick:  one  who  throiiuh  inlirniity  K'ans  upon 
a  slick. 

S\(»iis  may  he  of  chissical  ori  >in.  (iei'ive(l  from 
sine  ohoiii,  without  a  penny;  the  hiti'iier  chiss  were 
caMed  "iiohs."  that  is  nohihas.  the  nobility — the 
snobs  were  sine  nohilclate  witlioiii  any  ai'istocratic 
blood  in  ihcir  veins. 

PoLM'i;.  {'"'I'oni  the  Latin  ;>()/f7^/  from  tiietlreek 
woi'd  ^>o//,s.  a  city,  a  state.  Hence  policy,  tlu'  ,>cienci' 
of  liovei'iinicnt :   politics,  the  alVaiis  of  stale,  of  police. 


Iiakcspeafc  >av 


A  poor  I'oiziu' 


\\  ho  Iiilks  ;ili()ut  (  Durl  news — wli()"s  ill  -  who's  out  — 
Who  Idsrs  niid  who  wins;  iiinl  l.ikrs  upnii  liiniscir 
'The  inysti'i'V  of  IhillLi's;  lis  if  lie  were  licivcii'  spv." 

II()<  is  I'ocis  is  a  coi'i'iiplion   of    Hoc  fut  ('or/ms, 


words  once  iiscil  in  iieeroiiiancv  or 


jnuu'l 


erv 


IIi:i;n;K-sKi;i,ri;i!  coiiirsrroin/<(!7<//'/7tT  ef  cefcriter, 
l^^aily  and  ipiickly. 

I>i  r  is  derived  from  hf  <mt .  and  usually  iiiean- 
(>xcept;  ihat  i-  tahc  or  lra\i'(*^//.  In  Scotland  thi- 
word  is  still  used  in  its  primary  ineauinii.  'TIm'  hut  ot 
a  house  means  the  bc-oiit  or  outer  aparliiieiil,  as  ben 
UM'ans  be-in  or  the  inner  one. 

iV'I'oNI')  is  derived  lloiil  the  Word*  ttt  0lu\  in  the 
«ense  of  to  au'ree.  to  unite.      Atoiie  occurs   rre(piently 


ODD     WOMDS. 


5$ 


mre,  the 
■lu'h  luivo 

ciivs  to  Ih' 

haHbnn.  w 
cans  iiix'ii 

i-ivnl  I'voni 
(•l:\ss    wi'iv 

,l,ilit-  -tlu' 
ju'isturvutic 

,1  the  T'TiH^lv 

llu>    .-.('UMUH' 

(>,  (iT  itolicf. 


llo'S   ()\ll  — 

liinsclt' 
en'  si»y." 

vy . 

er  el!  celtriter 


i^iially   iMr;m.> 

Scoiliiii'l  tl>i> 

..     'riic  />(//  nl 

I'lmriil.  a-  ln'ii 

;  ,rf  oiir.  ill  thf 
iirs   rri'(HU'ntly 


in  Sliakc'f^poaiv  and  in  old  anthors  in  this  sense,  and  is 
often  written  at  one.  ft  is  als(»  nsed  in  active  sense; 
that  is.  to  niidvc,  or  causi'  others  to  be  at  09ie,  or  to 
ivrwi,/de;  and  hence,  to  reconcik'  l)y  expiation. 
Hence  atonement,  unity,  au'reenient. 

(iiArcKH  : — "II  Ihey  were  -wroth  she  would  hrint;:  iIkmu  at  ont\ 
So  wise  and  ripe  words  luid  siie." 

Shakis1'|':aui;: — "  I  would  do  niueli  to  atoiie  them." 

liii  iiAUi)  III;  —  "The  Kiiin'  desires  to  make  dtunnneitl 
Belweeii  tiie  Duke  and  your  l)rolhers,  ' 

I'oNi'ii'i'  is  a  syiKuiyui  i'or  the  I'lipe.  Pontitix, 
Irtuu  which  it  springs,  hore  a  precisely  siniihir  sijiuilica- 
ti(»n.  heiiiL;' applied  to  tlu'  hiuh  priest  oi'  the  luvithen 
reliu'itui.  The  word  PoiUitf  siu'niiies  its  plain,  true 
and  oriu'iiud  acceptation  a  hridii'*'  uitdvcr.  Ponteiii 
facero  siunilies  to  make  a  hriduc. 

SiKi.diN.  This  wiu'd  <twes  its  oriijin  to  Charles 
11..  who.  in  one  (d'  his  merry  moods,  kniii'hti'd  a  loin 
ul'  licef,  and  hence  they  say  ol'  this  cut  of  heel'  is 
called  .s'//'-loin   (  sirloin  ). 

T.Mtni'.  This  woi'd  is  deriveil  IVdui  the  town 
7hf't'f(i.  at  the  mouth  of  the  Straits  (d'  '  i  ilii'allar. 
TariCa  was  the  last  slronuhold  which  the  Mooi's  held 
while  they  coutndled  the  |)illar«  of  Ilei'cides.  It  was 
iieic  that  a  uuuH'y  fee  was  first  chai\ii'e(|  lor  vessels  eu- 
terin;.^  the  Mediterranean,  whence  the  W(ird  tarilV. 

S'n;i;i,iN«i.  .\l)out  thctiuu'id'  Kichard  I.  money 
coined  in  the  eastern  parts  of  (icrmauy  was  hrouuht 
into  lOn^laml  and  was  called  casterlinu'  uioney.  The 
KiivTish  coin  wa.>  calleil  I'asterlini:,  then  <'ontracted  t(> 
sterlin;r. 


II!  ij{^ 


I,:. 


'II 


J4tAT1»)>'1''1' 


^^„.,  i„  „„«.  ..l.lo"  ti.ue.  u-'.U.i 

-'■ ,    /',..,,,.|.'..  I-'" '■''>■ ''''■''■'" 

-"■>■  *'"^''-  ^-'""' wir:     u.  ...M<  u,.  U--..  •."  "  i-e,. 

dc.nnu.a,ouna..,..oM.;-^-.      ;;;;;,.,.,.,,,,,,,.n,vi•n.- 


Xv.-at,.  ,...>■->-.  In., :. 


^'""-■''  "■  """■    ■  ■    .  ,„,nv  <o  .-.".■a  I"'-'-"  ""■ 

.-. ■>'"■•"■;"■;;', \s:::;!;::m. -,,.>■.. "•■•"■""- 

''■'■'•  Tl,,.    w..v.\    alt.n-m'.v    is   u    '-l',.    "I' 

ArroiiNl-v.      11<      ']•         ,„.„i,„,„,i„-,iml  (.<(/»•■ 

„„..■.,......,. -  ^-•r;'l    ■ -!'>'"■'■•  ■'■'"- 

'"."•"^''-'■'•'''''"'''\     :,4vil. ..■..■unu.,1. •.,,,,- 

""'■"•■■;;:::;;;;;:;;;:;: i... -■- --'■■'- 


1 

1);U>.      'Hi' 


i,  likr  a  .-I"'!'"-  "'  '""   I    .   .,.,ii„\.aov,.. 

i>i^'"k.  ■•"^' '"'"■'  ■,.'a.„u..r«ia...M"-    '" 

I....U  la.nk  i- >•■  l-U   la..  ■         „,  „,,v.-  ..   M,,nU. 

,„,i.-..vivi-ui.'".'ai".a-- 


ODD    WOHDIS. 


65 


usodto 
Icity  and 
11  a  lixed 

V!is  con- 
1  0  rimes, 
(1  ]>y  i'ni- 
siit1'(M-iui;' 
\v;\s  not 
I  tiuitalise. 

'CiUlSl'  tlu.' 
to  nivf  iio- 
n'  nt>i>i'  oil 
•ivlliMl  tiiik- 

;\    nTu'    ol' 
i.aiH'tl  at  the 

\\V\\        Tlu'St' 

imiual  (MiiH- 
rt'  callrd  at- 

„.aii>  "littl*" 

A,M'  ><>  callc'l 

ilian   Coliiiii- 

lovc. 

hitC.         llrllCO 

kel  is  ((pciu'.l 

(■  paiHT.      'I  '> 

had    drawn  a 

lavf   a   l)laiiU, 


BoMiiAUD.    From  the  Greek  bombus,  a  Iiuiiiinini^ 
or   hoomiii"'   noise,    iun\  ardeo,    tol)nrn;  because,    ae- 
eordinir  to  Vossiiis,  it   throws    iron   balls,  cunisonitu  et 
fiainma. 

]i()MJ5AsiN.  From  bombox.  whieh  means  a  spe- 
ei(\<  of  Avasj)  and  a  hnmminu'  noise;  afterwards  a  silk 
worm,  from  its  resemblance  to  a  wasp  in  its  urub 
state. 

Knavi;.  This  word  was  formerly  used  to  siaiiify 
a  servant,  or  an  attendant  of  the  (^nceu  or  Kin^!'. 

Lattkm;.  Johnson  says,  "I  have  derived  this 
word  from  let  and  eyes\  let  eyes,  that  which  lets  the 
eye. 

AFanti,!;.  l^'roiii  tiic  Latin  irmntele,  a  towel  or 
cloth  for  wipinu' the  hands;  a  table  <'loth :  or  a  loose 
uarment,  or  cloak  thrown  over  the  rest  of  tlu'  dress. 
Poets  sp(>ak  of  (he  sine  mantlini:'  or  sjireadinu'  itself, 
:»!•  a  blush,  because  it  spreads  or  sulVuses  itself  over 
the  cheeks. 

Mm, TON: — "'riic  iHaiilUnfi  vine 

Tiiiys  I'Mi'tli  licr  |»iii'i)l('  u'l'iipc  iiiid  ticntly  creeps 
buxuriMiit." 

(lOl.OSMnil:  — "  Sm'|»rise(l,  lie  sees  new  lieiuities  rise 
Swit'l  niiintlinf/  lo  tlie  view, 
biUc  colors  o'er  liie  niorninij,'  skies, 
As  hriu'lit  Mild  triiiisieiit.  too." 

P(»1'K: — "  From  plnle  to  pl;ite  your  ureedy  eye-l);dls  roll, 
And  tile  liiiiiii  dniiees  lo  tlic  mtiufliuff  liowl." 

Ileiice  iiiantalet,  a  small  mantle  of  a  chimnev  or  a 
foiliricalion. 

hAriti;i;.  This  coin  in  Scothind  and  North  of 
Fiiuland  is  only  a    half-penny,      ll    rcccivccl  its  name 


-    !  J, 


I  ■ 


mM 


H 


'.>li    iKt 


'W'tiS  1 

*".  11'    1 


vvn    ills    (H)l>Il"ll"'^- 

■niK  ODD   M^>    -^^^^  " 


WluMi   one  <»T  tut, 

,„„„lH.v«n,ulf-P^'"^'«'  ■>  ^"  ;      ,    ..  i,„t  this  be  ealled 
"  ten  he  lu.,m\  tUo  news.  IH    ;'   ;  „ 

u>beo  f,-.m  l«>by,  '"'-"",'    ;:-,te.i,-  Heln-e.  »- 
"       .V,,M.vs-.u'.     The  ^•■-;  :^.' tv  wove  ,o,hW,..vou- 

„„,„,  „,„1  ,.a"l '.uu'h  u      .t,  ^^^^^^^   ,,„.u..    these 

.m......  "hiel.   .!';■>■  ,">"       ^^^,^,,4   .U-m..,.-..l.t  ,u  the 

r:,u':::-a.>-...es ^,„^ 

K,y,„.     ■!■"''- '™;'''  'Iv   hu,;  .....  he,v  e,eet  a 
.".^'■'>''-  '■'^''''' ""tV   leeveve,.   ..o,,neeU..l    -  U 

„,i.,,•,^;i^.m.^et^,eU.   .u  ■„.     i-,miu.telv 

vnV..!il.'  s,>hst,..u.e  w,.s  -•,,,.,„  ,„.„av  knuvvn 

.,„„,.,  ,„,.,.,un,.nn.e.";^^    ,.,.,„    Kuv,-.       I'- 

..s  uHu-iuu.  M-  -;■;;■'; ^.„,„„.  .,hsu„„.es. 

"'"'a::::-'  'r''■^^'-"''-•■'-"- 
saia    to    have    ^^^'^  ..lUuion  i^'on.  li^U  U.    -  ' 
1  Una  no  .voova  ol   tlu'  a.n 


ODD  \V(»i;ds. 


57 


of  the 
|a  large 

which, 
be  called 

hrew  au- 

(l  tiStl'OU- 

es  of  the 
s>,  thef^e 
111  in  the 
vast-heed; 

time  there 
\e>   west  of 
oaiue  from 
i(.i-('  erected 
K'ople  rode, 
u'cti'd    with 
^luuiou    this 
rutil  lutclv 
,,nly  kn(»wii 
TV|)t.       The 
iinccs. 

inin    of    this 
this  iiiiine  to 

Kiitilif^li  ii>'^' 

I  diiy    from 

II  lisli  to  fo(d. 
IwvvM    Kli/.ii- 

i  (licre  were  a 
to  tlie  wood, 


coal,  ashes,  x'liileries.  etc.  To  this  smutty  st^uad  the 
name  blackiiuard  was  jiiveii.  The  name  is  now  applied 
to  men  of  dark  deeds. 

BEVEi{A(iK.  l)e:ivei-  with  us  is  a  name  uiven  to  a 
covei'inii'  of  the  head.  It  conies  from  the  Italian 
bevere.  to  drink.  The  word  had  Its  oriuin  in  the  prac- 
tice <if  tlie  kniiihts,  who  used  tiieir  helmets  as  drink- 
inu'  vessels  where  nior"  suitahle  cups  were  not  on  hand. 
Oni'  F^nii'lisli  word  beverage  ^.'^ww^i  from  the  same  I'oot 
and  custom. 

Proof  Simimts.  Before  the  means  of  determin- 
ing' the  real  (juantity  of  alcohol  were  known  they  eui- 
ployed  ;i  very  rude  method  of  ffn-nnuii'  a  noti(»n  of  its 
sti'eiiuth.  A  ii'iven  (juantity  of  s[)irits  was  jtonred 
upon  a  (puuitity  of  i>unpowdei'  in  ;i  dish  and  set  on 
tin'.  If  it  continued  (h'y  enough  it  exploded,  hut  if 
it  hecame  wet  with  the  water  in  the  soirits  the  flame 
went  out  without  setting'  the  powder  on  tire.  This 
was  calh'd  thi'  proof.  Spirits  which  kindled  the  j)ow- 
der  was  said   t(t  he  caHed   proof. 

lU'LL.  The  term  hull,  in  a  ixmtitical,  is  said  to 
l)e  (h'rived  from  a  sort  of  ornament  worn  by  the  younjij 
Italian  iiohh'men  called />j<//of!,  a  semi-harharous  (Jreek 
word  siLi'uifyinu' seals  or  siiiuets.  'i'hev  were  round  <m' 
the  liiiure  of  a  heart,  hunu'  about  their  neck  like  dia- 
mond crosses.  Those  bulloe  came  afterwards  to  bo 
himu'  to  the  diplomas  of  emperors  and  po|)es, 
when  they  iuid  the  name  (»f  bulls.  To  distin- 
jiiush  them  from  all  minor  documents  and  to  mark 
their  importance  seals  of  solid  n'old  bullion  were  at- 
tached  to  them    by    the   popes,   henci'   the    name  bulL 


""h  i- 

W     Hi     , 


58 


TIIK    ODD    31  AN    AND    HfS    ODDITIH;^. 


hi^  ■ 

1.., 


Tho  hull  civatiiii!,-  Hoiirv  \'III.  "Defender  of  the 
Faitir'  had  a  iiold  seal  attached  to  it. 

Book.  Our  Teiitoiiie  fathers  wrote  on  wood  as 
theii'  fathers  were  eoniiuanded  to — N^tmhers  i7. 
Their  letters,  calendars,  records,  accounts,  etc., 
Avcre  written  u[)on«  wood.  The  close  jri'ained  hoc 
was  the  favorite  wood  u'enerally  employed,  and  hence 
came  our  word  hooU. 

JiuANDY  comes  IVom  the  (lerman  hrand-wein. 
i.  e.,  burned  wine. 

Hook  on  ('hook.  There  are  several  plausihlc 
explanatiitiis  of  these  words: 

1.  AN'hei)  Str(»n!il)()W  was  talkinu'  with  his  officers 
on  the  hest  way  of  takinu  Ii'cland  he  said  there  were 
two  harhors  ncai"  W'aterfor*!:  one  was  called  Ilook, 
the  other  Crook.      1  h'   would    take    it   hv    hook    oi'  hv 


crook. 


■J.  There  wi'i'c  two  judi^'cs  one  calle(|  Ilookc  the 
otherCi'ooke.  These  judu'c's  always  fav(U'e(l  the  l\in:^' 
antl  the  ])eopIe  passecl  it  into  a  proverl)  "that  the  Kinu' 
could  always  lid  anythiuu'  he  wauled  by  llooke  or  hy 
('rooke." 

;>.  it  is  (piite  certain  that  the  |)hrase  dates  farther 
hack  than   !(!(')().  ami  thev  were   not    derived    IVom  the 


names  o 


f   j.l: 


lees  or  oel'son 


Tl 


le  (H'luin  ma\'  ne  louno 


amonu'  the  incidents  of  feudal  tenure  in  l''.niiland. 
Tenants  of  lands  were  allowed  to  take  "lire  hote." 
that  is  necessary  !'uel.  They  were  restricted  to  so 
much  as  they  couhl  take  hy  "hook  ami  crook.""  The 
hook  or  hill  was  a  scythe-shapeil  tool  to  cut  down  only 
the  snuillot  tree^di'  uudei'hrush.  the  crook  at  the  end 
of  ii  pole  wa*   \\<vA  for   |»nlliiiu  down   and    hreakinu  up 


ODD    WORDS, 


59 


of  the 


wood  a 


^ei'S 


i7. 


Its,     otc. 

iiu'd    hoc 

Jntl  hence 

\ii(l-\vein. 

j)hui>il)h' 

his  olhcei's 

hvvv    were 

'Ucd  Hook, 

look    or  hy 

llooke  the 
(1  the  Kin.Li' 
id  tlu'  KiiiLi 
looke  or  l>v 

late>  fiirtlier 
mI  fntni  the 
iiv  lie  t'oinul 
11     Kiiuhnul. 

>  tire  hote." 
iricled  lo  so 
■ook."'  'I'll*' 
It  down  only 
)k  at  the  end 

hreakin.y  up 


till'  (h'y  hraiiclu>s  ol'   trees.      By   liook  IP  near  at  hand: 
hy  crook  if  heyoiid  tlu'ir  reacli. 

Spcncei'  in  ■'  J'^irtuiies  oi'  the  Faithful."  juihlish- 
ed  in  lo.lO.  says,  whatsoever  is  ])leasant  or  |)rotitahle 
must  he  had  liy  hook  oi- hy  crook.      Tusser  wrote, 

"  Ot  iiiMstivc  and  iiioniirels  that  many  we  sec. 
A  number  ol'  tliousiuids  too  many  there  he  ; 
Watch  llicrerorc  in  Lent,  to  thy  sheepe  ixo  and  looke. 
For  doLis  will  ha\i'  vittals  hy  hooke  and  liy  cnK)ko." 

("  \i,i:ndai;.  At  Home,  tlu^  interest  of  money  was 
paid  on  the  Calendx.  or  first  of  every  month  ;  and  the 
hook  in  which  the  accounts  were  kept  was  called 
cxtlendariurn.  and  hence  ;i  register  of  every  montli, 
the  I'oot  word  is  the  (ireek  kiileo.  to  call,  hecause  the 
holidays  were  called  out,  or  proclaimed  on  the  first 
day  of  the  montli. 

Nt:ws.  In  former  tinu's  the  practice  prevailed  of 
pultiui:'  u|)  the  initial  letters  (d'  the  cardinal  points  of 
the  <'om|)ass.  thus  N.  K.  W.  S.  news.  im]»iu'linu' or  im- 
plviiiL;  that  these  |)apers  contained  intelliu'enci'  from 
the  four  (piarters  (d*  the  Lilohe. 

Mom:v.  'rii(>  '  lirst  silver  money  coined  was 
.-truck  in  the  temple  of  •Iiina  .Moneta.  and  it  took  tlu' 
name  I'rom  the  tem|)le. 

I'aim'.i;  .\i(>\t;>.  The  Count  de  Teudilla  while 
heseiu'cd  hy  the  Moors,  in  the  fortri'ss  of  Alamhra, 
was  (le>iiiuie  of  Li'old  and  .-ilver.  and  much  niurmurinff 
prcvaileil:  this  saLi'acioiis  commander  took  a  ninnher  of 
slips  id'  paper,  inscrihed  various  sums  laru'c  and  small 
and  siiiiied  tln-ni  with  his  own  name.  Tluv-e  were 
taken  and  used  as  money.  This  happened  in  I4'S4, 
ami  wa>  the  tirsi  paper  money  on  record. 


"'I ' 


!li 


tU) 


rniK    ODD    MA^     ^^'*    " 


(llAPTEU  IV. 

1  •     ,1'  (lod  in  tlie  cono-rotiivtiou 

.,  HiM>eoi>l-  ---^^^^  Xt.'t  iW  iu  v.ln  ;  ana 

1  1     .ivi>     all   "I    >i"'  '^ 

,,,iu.,um,s,.uH.,u...v.'N.'"l.'V'"  ,.,„„„  „-,,„.„.,v 

■i-.'""'""""- "'■  "T  "'"n  V.lt  us  of  a  Uli^l'l.""' 

f„U  ..r  wit  .u,.l   vvi-'""-      "  ;i,„    |„,,v    r..r   1...1.M 

.v,..„tl„.,-.  his  , P'" -"■'■'"^       ,   „\„o    lus.    fn.-l- 

l.'■.^"■.^^..■'-.•>-■-;';t;;;  ';;::M..■>il■..>".■M.-■.- 
UM.!.-..'"'-'"''-''"-''""' ,;,,,,.  in:  .i-,  -ml., ■■ 
,..,,,,,VnM.in.na-l..vH;;.  '■,,,,,,,,,. 
....1  ....  ^1'-'   ''"•  ''"■''\''         ,!•  1-' '•-'•'  l-'^^^^^^^^^ 

f,„.  „.,uU'  w.-,ul...i'.  v.'  "  i',';'> 
.,Us.  i.n.l  liiiily 'l...'.'-'''- 


01>1)    SAVINGS    <>l"    MKN. 


61 


llii'V(\Li'clU01l 

Iditios  ami 
vain  ;  ar.'l 

he  liclds  ol 

'staiit    faitli 

(,■  whicli   '111 

ts  [>ri'at'luM>. 

sayiiiiLi'"*  ill"' 

A'V.  ruruishi'.- 
11<   lis.  not    tn 

0  show  us  tht 
irn    \vh(»  wi'iT 
'   a    Uiu'hhinil 
av    fo\'  hcttiT 
iiiu-  time  to  hf 

hist  tinu'  he 
V.  His  prayer 
ion  to  present : 

o'  it,  yi'  ken. 

i;   just  send  n- 

save  tile  straw 

1  lis   a  tearin. 
lime  1  prayeti 

sc'hicf  witli  tin 


Anotiu'ielei'uyman  oiiee  prayini:  for  rain  I'litreateil 
the  Lord  to  uncork  the  hotth's  of  heaven  ami  to  send 
dowu  ret'resliinu'  .-liowers.  Tlie  droiio-ht  liad  lasteil  a 
lorn;'  time.  The  rain  eommeneed  witli  Li'reat  violence 
on  Tneschiy.  and  continued  until  Fri(hiy.  then  com- 
menced a^ain  on  Sahhath  and  rained  heavily.  When 
the  minister  prayed  auain.  sayinji',  ••()  Lord  we  re- 
cently took  occasion  to I'litrea.t  thee  to  uncork  the  hottles 
of  heaven  and  send  us  i-elTeshiiii:'  showt'r>;  hut  w<'  <lid 
not  mean  that  the  corks  should  he  thrown  away."" 

I'arson  Howe,  on  a  similai'occasion  said  in  prayer. 

<)  Lord  we  want    rain  very  much:  the  rye   is  siiiVei'inu," 

prodigiously;  of  corn  we  shall  not  have  half  a  crop;   as 

for  j)otatoes  and  turnips  it  is  all  .ujt  with  them;  and  the 

uras>  in    Deacon   Comstock's    lawn  is  as  red   as  a  l'ox"s 

tail. 

.\  jiious    l^lder  was   called  lo   pray  after  a   hattle 

had  oeeii  foiiuht.  said  thus.  ()  Lord.  1  never  ^v(h\  such 

•A  day  as  veslei'day;   and  1    doiTt  helieve  you  ever  did. 

We  are  unahle  to  account  for  the  e\tra(»rdinary 
doiiiii's  and  sayings  of  those  men.  See  Hev.  ^^'il(l  in 
1()(')2  \'icar  of  Almo.  who  is  rcmemhei'eil  for  doinu' a 
very  uood  thiiiu'  in  a  vei'y  odd  way.  IK'  pi'esented  six 
hihies  to  a  churcli  in  his  native  town.  St.  Ives,  for 
twelve  pei'-oiis  were  lo  ca>t  dice  in  the  chui'ch.  There 
were  to  he  six  mahv-  and  six  femalo.  The  dice  were 
to  he  thrown  on  Whitsunday  while  the  minister  knelt 
and  [)rayed,  that  (iod  would  direct  the  dice  t<»  his 
ii'lory. 

Memhers  of  committee,  waitinu'  for  ;i  (piorum,  he- 
,U'uiled  the  time  hy  ri'Iatinu  a  story  from  Max  O'lvell's 
"Sandy  Macdoiiald."       Tlii<   was  cappeil   hy  another 


ft-r  .wjji^w-gasgy--" 


.      MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 
IIIK    ol'l'    ^'^^ 


'         .1    «■,■  ' 


•IM 


6-i 

,  ,     ,  .,„  ,,ia  Scutch  minisU-r.      He  wa- 

to  cool  th.  atiuusplunv       -  _•  ^^         ,vin.low,au.l 

little  i>uiT<>i---^-;;:;^^^.,Htte,^.nn 

.eattcMva  tlu-  leave-,  oi  ^^^  ^'^  ^u.  .uiui.ter  ex- 

nitMUlH'l    ^aHl 

,„-„..       lu  all  .iTi..«^m-ss. 

l„tl..'«.-l    lluu.  l.^   .1      „„,„:,,,,  ,,11  Imnl  ,..«■.. 

iw„v..,-.  'nu.  r..i,.T  an  .  -  ;  ,„.„  ,„•  ,,„.,. 

,,„„1,.  .„„k-.  «...«=<- <l'"  -  ,„      ,,v  with    .1.. 

v,„i,..,- r,„'Uv,i,M.  »;':••'',,,,„  ,',,1,1  «„y.   ■■" 

l.,„-,l»..    ihui.U     lU'     '  ,.    „,      „,,y    \1„. 

,„,,,,,..,,,     ,.,,,.l...n.k..lK>U,,U.  ^^^_^^^    I   ^^,_^_,,,,,, 

,„.„„l„n,uWM-ak..."ln.    .).     ■     ^         ^^,,,   ,„^„,.   ,.„, 
W,,,,.,  Uin.i  "f  -■'''' ''"'tul         ■'"■■,,,.   llH'    IWav,..' 

'■'""■"•    '"  '"'"■"""";■■         <,.„„.„  Ui.l.lan,!--  in  .i.no. 

H..V.  M..    'V  :;;•■;  ■; ,„„„.,.  11.1  .V,.n, 

••'■'"■'■^'■'■"'''T       ;     ,l.;nintl,.irir,,l,..an,Un-uy... 


i  i 


Ui>I»    !SAVI>"«,S    OF    .MEN. 


63 


He  \v;i- 

(lay.  whcMi 

iK'thougui 

SOUR'   win' I 

lis  kneerj  a 

riii<l»>w,iui<i 

ion  all  over 

minister  ex- 

Anollier 
qies^?      Aii- 

tlu'   luuiie  (if 

II  hiinl  eases. 

llU'll  of  ( «0(l, 

H-eiMitrie.  It 
IS  liilten  l)y  M 
r  tlyinu',  l^'^'- 
,niy   witli    tb>- 

III  way.  •■  ** 
V  iliaiiU  'V\\r^ 
we  pray  Th'  < 
Lord  send  tie 

.  old   luaii;   t'of 
in'  I  he    lieaver 

liider  ill  time- 
luM-s  tied  from 
lit.  and  praye'l 
s,  ••  Twine  tlu'in 
p  of  thy  (doak 
lul  we  willkeoi- 


iu  reiuenibranec.  and  tell  it  to  tlie  eoiinnendation  of 
tliy  goodness,  ])ity  and  compassion,  what  thou  didst 
for  ns  al  sneh  a  time." 

An  agt'd  minister  was  pi'aying  at  the  opcninu'  of 
the  General  Assemhly.  In  \i\\s  King  -James  VI. 
aft(M'wards  James  I.  ol'  Kngland — pnhlislicd  his  •'hook 
of  sports,"  and  eonnnandcil  that  eertain  of  them, 
whieh  he  >aid  were  lawfnl  to  he  ohservecl,  should  be 
|)laved  in  the  sev<'ral  ehiirehvanis  everv  Simihiv  at  the 

It.  lit 

c\ose  of  the  service.  Dr.  Kogei's  says:  .John  Ivoss, 
minister  of  Blairgowrie,  adojttt'd  a  novel  method  of 
withstanding  the  Koyal  ordinance.  lie  was  a  strong 
athletic  man  and  seemed  much  interested  in  the  recrea- 
tion enjoyed  l»y  the  M(»narch.  Football  w:is  selected 
by  the  jjarislKuicrs  of  I>lairgo\\ ''ie  fi'om  the  list  of  Sun- 
day games.  When  tln'  .-ci'viees  (d'  the  church  were 
completed.  Mr.  Koss  appeared  among  his  people  iu  the 
churchyai'd.  and  at  once  ])roceeded  to  join  them  in  their 
gport.     Tlirowing  his  coat  on  a  tombstoiu'  he  said, 

"  l,i('  ye  there. 
.Minister  o'  Hlaii', 
Till  I,  John  lioss. 
(Jet  a  game  at  the  ha." 

None  of  the  assemblage  kicked  uuwo  e.agerly  at 
the  football  than  did  the  reverend  ineiiml»ent.  But 
constant  misfortune  seemeil  to  attemi  him;  for  every 
kick  missed  the  ball  and  fell  heavily  on  the  iuiclcs  of 
those  who  stood  near.  Apologies  were  ju'omptly  ten- 
dered, and  of  course  I'eadily  accepted;  though  every 
Sunday  many  of  tlu'  phiyers  returned  home  halting. 
At  length  it  was  unanimously  agreed  that,  on  account 


Tri-itirnfir"ir-if~rr  - ' — '^'  — ■ 


ii 


III  Nuiij, 


"I  i<* 
''ii  ii« 

-I  Ii,  ; 


:lt|i'^:!|: 


M 


::.ii.:  ■' 


•64 


TIIK    (H»I)    MAX    AXD    UIS    ODDITIKS. 


of  the  minister's  jiwkwai'dnoss  the  gaines  should  hv 
al)aiuh)iR'(l.  This  was  tlie  eiid  (U'sirod  by  the  inueniou- 
<liviiie. 

Dr.  Hiiiih  rdaii".  the  eeh'hi'ated  rhetorician  and  hi- 
eolh>a_une.  Dr.  Walker  were  respectfully  the  most  eh* 
([Uent  exponents  of  the  theori(>s  of  works  and  uiaee  a- 
the  essential  doctrines  oi'  Christianity.  One  Sunday 
Dr.  i*)laii\  warniinii'  in  his  presentation  of  his  favoriti 
theme,  tiius  apostrophized  virtue:  "()  virtue,  if  thui; 
wert  (Muhodied  all  nun  would  hive  thee?  "' 

Dr.  \\'alker.  in  the  afternoon  in  the  coui'se  of  hi- 
sci'Mion  rejoinedas  follows;  "  N'irtuc  ha>l)('eii  endxMlicil 
Did  all  men  love  hci?      No:  slic   was  despiscil   und  re 
jccted  of  men.  who.  after  dcl'aminu'  her.  insulting'  anil 
scoui'L:inu:  iici'  led.  her  to  calvary,  where  they  crucilied 
her  between  two  thieves." 

dames  Oliphaiil  had  a  curious  habit  of  makim: 
runniuL;'  comments  in  a  low  tone  of  voice.  Here  an 
-peeimeus  of  his  pulpit  note-,  ileadim:'  of  the  swiin 
ru-^hiiiL;'  into  the  >ea.  he  muttered.  ■•()lithal  tliede\il 
had  been  choked  too  1  "'  KeadiiiL;  Peter's  remark .  ••\N'< 
have  left  all  and  followed  thee,"  he  said  (pnetlv.  A\' 
boastin"  Peter,  aye  braLiiiiu'  what  had  yon  to  lca\e 
but  an  old  crazy    boat  and  twa   or  three    rotten  nets? 

The  Scotch.  a<  a  ride.  didlL"  "(inewords.    ••  l-'iiii' 
worcU   butter   no    parsiMps,    i-.    witii    them,  a    fa\oritr 


l>roverl>. 


<)i 


le     ol      the     clerM'Ninen      who    often     used 


"  dictionary  words  '"  \\a.~  wait   'I  upo'i  by  a  dcjmtatioii 
ami  asked,  when  he  iiM'd  unfamiliar  expression^  in  tin 
pulpit  to  slop   and  cxi>lain    them.       The   dry  humoi' of 
this  advice  met  a  litliuu  reward.    ( )n  the  m'xl  Sun<lay 
he  cham'cd  to    use    the    word  hyperbole.       He   at    ouc' 


should    he 
inti'ouiou- 

;iii  and  In- 
most I'lo 
id  i>'i'ii('C  a- 
\\v  Siindiiy 
lis  I'avoriti 
lU',  ii"  thoi; 

niirsc  ol'  lii- 
('iul)odi('d 

isf'd   and  re 
isullinii'  am! 
lev  cnu'ii'u'd 

I  (if    makim; 
lliTc  ai' 
of  the  sw'ni' 
hat  thi'  (h'vil 
.'HuirU,  *■  ^Vl 
(|ni('tly.   Ay 
Vdii  to   h'avc. 
ottcn  nets? 
Kirds.    "  l*'ini' 
III,  a    ravoi'itr 
i»    ol'icn    nst'd 
a  (h'pntalion 
rcs.-ioii''  in  the 
(h'v  hmuor  ol 
m'xl  Sunday 
lie   at    oUC' 


ODD    SAYINGS    <»K    MEN. 


65 


slopped  and  added.  As  ajiircd  on,  I  now  hvg  leave  to 
(jjive  an  apt  illustration  of  this  term.  Were  I  to  say 
at  this  moment  that  the  nhole  of  my  eon<>rei«ation 
Avere  sound  aslee|),  thiscertaiidy  would  hean  hyperhole; 
hut  if  1  say  at  this  moment  that  one  half  are  in  this 
abjeet  ('(.udition,  this  would  not  he  a  hyperbole,  hutthe 
truth."" 

Talkinu'  alxmt  ••  line  phrases,""  i-eealls  am)thei' 
^toi'v  of  a  ch-ruymaii  who  had  a  loudness  for  lonu' 
words;  and  undertook  to  instruct  one  of  his  church 
officers  ill  I  lie  use  of  them.  One  niuiit  as  (hey  were 
aiioiii  lo  leave  the  vestry,  .lolin  askeil  iheminister  if  he 
sjiouid  put  out  tile  candles!  "say  cxtinu'uish,""  an- 
swered the  cleriiymen.  and  not  "|Hitout.'"  "An."" 
said  dohn.  "  doesextinuiiish  always  stam'l  for  put  out?" 
".\lways.""  replied  the  minister.  'IMie  next  Sunday 
it  happened  t4iai  a  doi:  harkt'd  in  ihechundi.  John  at 
once  rose  in  his  seat,  and  solemnly  uave  the  order: — 
"Someone  will  please  exlinL'uish  that  dot«'." 

.loliii  IJrowii  of  lladdiniiton  was  the  author  of 
several  works  on  'I'heidouy.  lie  courted  a  lady  up- 
wards of  six  years.  lie  was  so  singularly  modest  and 
l)ashful  that  he  had  never  ventured  to  kiss  lu'r.  ()iie 
day  it  occiiri'ed  him  that  it  wdiild  not  he  a  had  thinii' 
to  d(».  So  he  said,  ".laiu't.  ma  W(mian,  wt'"ve  been 
ac(|uainted  now  forsix.an."  an,"  I  nevt'r  not  a  kiss  yet. 
D'ye  think  I  may  take  one.  m\  boiinie  liiss?"  The 
reply  was  wonderfully  characteristic  of  the  Scottish 
maiden.  "»Jist  as  ye  like,  dolin,"  said  she,  "only  be 
becomin'  and  prop*'r  we"  it.""  "  Surely,  Janet,"'  said 
John.  "Wellask  a  blessin."'  The  blessing-  was  asked, 
.and  the  kiss   evchanii'cd.      "()  woman,"  said   the   en- 


"ill!-**,, 


V.  ■  \l 


..    MVN    AND    "l^    ODDITIK^- 
TIIK    C)1>1>    ^l^^^    ^ 


•  Aiov   "(>  \v(»nuin,but  it 

Kn.t--> ''>>'-'•'" ''''^'"VSr-   u,.ui,ov  ,.-,,1 .0. 

„f  t|„.  Kivk.  ...■■  «i."l  "I  ^«       •  ,„„j,,.,,s,.tin..  t« 

.,a„...  ,,u,..a  .  i.v,o  .uu,  ^^^^    „,  ,„„, 

•,,U».so,.m.l<"m'll^'l.  ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  nl 

,  ,,„  vo.,  r.ir -,nuu  .  ^^,  .. 

,.,„,so  ynu  Uy  .K,mM.  I  w       ^^^^^^^ 

-> \''--^'''''^r:u;:!nu,,.«.v,,Mi,y.'"- 


i 


lUO 


Yowr 


Jll'Xt 


V  " 


I    Nvill 


v\»n 


ll»c  \v!vy  t>i 


w 


\u'n  tUovi 


4Kilt   cnhiriiv  \\v 


lu'iut, 


you 


l)ivvi« 


\.    ^vi'  i''>»> 


Id  ul 


n\ii  U!<  vvc 


N„  thiu\U?*  to 
with  such 


us  v«»i» 


Ml 


WUf 


l.lo(|\ltM>l   JVS  W 


I'll   lis  (lUi 


villi. 


xh\\  the  t»iH>st  r 


.rut'.ition 


oi 


tlu'  notion  of  lilH'Vty  m 


t'HUii 


litv,  us  Kmiu'o  I 


)l'(U 


luinu'tl  it  if 


louiul  in  a  r( 


to  11  < 


U'\>ntivtion 


I'n.iii  his  iM'oj 


,\(.  uslvin^  lii^  views  (Ui 


l»roh- 
n\ 
ply 
thi' 


i[yv 


'stion. 


He  suia  to  thorn,  My  I'vumu 


Ih,  I  luul  II  oiill 


"I 

il 
ii 


'JWjm0^" 


AN    E<2UAL1TY. 


67 


lit  It 


:\ii 


hotit 
l- 


l-inint 


[tioii  to 

short 

i,    and 

in  tlu' 


Ivc  ;  Itul 

liiiiiii-^tiT 

art.  this 

von.  hut 

i/aiii,  \'\\ 


Psahu  a^ 


tl 


\v  com- 


rl 


Il( 


tlOM, 


I 


)M?    Wlu»t 

'oiniiiaixl- 
Wliat    is 

UnhlU'lltH, 

thanks  to 
with  such 


It.     Troh. 
ihiM'tv  and 


ply 
tlic 
had  a  call 


n  a  r( 
;WH  oil 


1 


troiii  some  of  you  the  other  day,  desiring'  to  know  my 
opinion  on  liherty  and  eciuality,  I  now  t'nitill  my 
promise,  since  your  visit  I  have  traveled  in  spii-it  over 
the  universe, and  I  shall  just  tell  you  what  I  have  seen 
in  my  travels. 

.    I    hav(>    traveled    over    the  earth,  its   fro/en   and 
huriunij:   /'OIK'S,   mountains   and    valleys,    moist    places 


iiiMl   (lr\- 


I'ertil 


(>   lands  and  sand\'  desei'ts.   am 


I    I    I 


lave 


-een  men  and  children,  hiuand  little,  stronu'  and  weak. 
■B  wise  and  ii'iiorant,  yoodand  had,  |)ow(  rl'ul  and  helpless, 
rieh  and  po(»r.     ?>'o  e(piality  Ihere. 

I  1iave  traveled  thrnni:li  the  sea,  its  depths  and 
shoals,  rocks  and  sand  l)aid<s.  whirlpools  and  e(ldit!s  ; 
f  I  have  found  nKtnstei's  and  worms,  whales  and  heri'lnij;'. 
-harks  and  shrimps,  mackerel  and  s|)rats.  the  strong 
ilevouring  the  weak,  the  hi^'  swallowini:'  the  little.  No 
(■(piality  there. 

1  have  ascended  to  heaven  with  its  u'leater  and 
le>ser  lights,  suns  and  satellites:  and  I  have  round 
thrones  and  dominions,  principalities  and  |)owers. 
aiiLi'els  and  aridianu'cls,  clu-ruhim  and  seraphim.  No 
(■(pnilily  there. 

I  have  decended  into  Indl.  and  there  I  have  fouiid 
l>eel/,(d»ul>,  the  |)rince  oI'devilsaiKl  his  grim  councillors. 
M(doch  and  lielial,  lyrani/ing  over  the  other  devils 
and  all  of  them  ovi'r  the  souls  of  wicked  men.  No 
eipudily  thei'e. 

This  is  what  I  have  seen  in  my  travels,  and  I  think 
I  have  traveled  far  enough:  11'  any  of  you  wish  to 
search  for  yourselves  you  need  not  travel  the  road  1 
have  taken,  you  will  not  find  what  you  want  on  earth, 
'tr  in  the  sea,  lu'ither  in  Heaven  nor  in    Hell.      I  have 


•!% 


TT 


1  i"*1'ii 


II! '2*! 


rM 


«:• 


11 1:1 


i'}^ 


Tin;   ()l)l>    MAN    AM)    HIS   odditiks. 


<>iven  you  my  ox[)eri(MR'o,  it  rests   with  you  to  make  ii 
proper  use  ol'  it. 

AN    ODD    l'l!AYi:i!.  • 

A  Viraiiiiii  slave,  wlio  liad  heard  of  th(>  President's 
j>r()mis('  coiiccriiiuu'  the  proehimatiou  to  lie  issued, on 
the  1st  of  January,  tiien  only  a  f(>\v  days  in  the  future, 
was  heard  pi-ayinu'.  and  with  ureat  earnestness,  and  a 
deeply  alfeeted  heart,  thus.  '•  ()  (lod  almighty!  keep 
tlu>  I'uu'ine  of  the  I'chellion  u'oinu  till  Nt'w  Years! 
(Jood  LordI  |)ray  don't  U't  olf  the  steam  I  Lord,  don't 
reverse  the  enuiiu'!  (km  t  hack  up!  I^ord,  don't  put  on 
the  hrakes!  But  pi'ay,_u()od  Lord,  put  on  more  steam! 
.Make  it  a  mile  a  nnnutel  yes  Lord,  pray  make  it  u'o 
sixty  nnk's  an  hour.  Amen!  Do  udod  Lord!  resjxdid.^ 
the  hrethi'en  and  sisters.  "  Lord  don't  let  the  express 
train  of  rchcHion  siuash  up  till  the  lirst  of  flanuary. 
Don't  h't  the  rehclshreak  down  hut  hai'deii  their  hearts 
as  hard  as  IMiaiaohs.  and  help  all  hands -iijiug  until  the 
train  reaches  tlu'  (U'pot  of  emancipation. 

soi.DiKi;   wir. 

The  colonel  of  an  .Mahama  rcizimcnt  was  famous 
foi'  havinu'  everythiim' done  up  in  militaiT  style,  once, 
while  Held  otticer  of  the  day  and  u'oinu'  his  r(uiuds  ol' 
inspection,  he  came  on  a  sentinel  from  the  Lleventh 
Mississippi  reiiiuu-nl  sitlinu'  down  at  his  post,  with  hi> 
U'un  taken  entirely  to  pieces,  when  the  followinn' 
dialou'ue  took  place.  Coloiul.  "  Don't  yon  know  that 
H  sentinel  whih'  on  duly  should  always  keep  on  his 
leet?"  Sentinel  without  lookiiiu' up.  "That's  the  way 
we   used  to  do  when   the  war  first   heuan  ;   hut   that's 


NO  I'HriT  i;ati:k. 


(•»<)■ 


^  I 


1)11 


jdayod  out  Ion;;'  atio."  Coloiu'l,  (l)euiiiiiiiit>'  to  tloiiht 
ii'  the  lium  was  on  duty)  "  Aivyou  tlio  sentinel  hero?' 
Sentinel,  "Well,  I'm  sort  of  sentinel."  Colonel, 
••  Well  I'm  a  sort  of  otHcei-  of  the  day."  Sentinel, 
'*  Well,  if  you'll  hold  on  till  I  sort  of  uet  my  <!un 
tou'ether,  I'll  uive  you  a  sort  of  salute," 

A  i)o|tular  AuLi'liean  ministei- residint;-  in  (Jiasuow, 
\vhil(^  on  a  visit  to  that  city,  in  a  reply  to  an  invitation 
to  partake  of  some  fruit,  said  that  he  had  never  in  his 
life  tasted  an  a)t|)le,  pear,  urape  or  any  kind  of  ureeii 
fruit,  A  cautious  Scotch  man,  of  a  practical  turn  (d' 
mind,  dryly  remarked:  "  It's  a  peety  hut  you  had 
lieen  in  Paradise,  and  there  nnuht  na  hae  heen  ony 
faa." 

Hapi)eninii'  to  call  on  a   n<'iuhl)oi\    I   asked  after 
the  children  of  a    pi'rson   who  lived  close  hy,  she   re- 
plied.   ••There  no  hame  yet — ^aed  awa   to  the  Kniilish 
church  to  act    a  clap  o"   the  heid.""      Ii  was  confirma- 
tion day. 

.\n  (dd  lady  ol'  laru'c  proportions,  and  had  n\any 
aihnenls.  which  slu'  Itore  cheerfully  and  patiently. 
When  asked  one  day  Ity  a  friend  how  she  was.  "Oh 
just  nuddlin;^';   there's  owcr  nuickic  o"  me  to  he  a"  weed 

at  a     time." 

« 

.\  hoalsnnni  called  l$oatii'  of  Deeside  had  heen 
lu'arly  lost  in  a  scpiail.  and  saved  oidy  after  areat  ex- 
erti(»n.  was  told  hy  his  aunt  that  he  shoidd  he  very 
,!.:ratid'ul  to  Providence  for  his  safety.  The  man.  not 
nu-aidny  to  lu'  unuratid'ul.  hut  viewing  his  preservation 
in  the  purely  nnitter-ofd'act  li.uht  quietly  answered. 
Weel.  we(d.  Mrs.  IJussell:   rrovideiice  here,  or  Provi- 


"•t 

1 

»»( 
tirl 

...j 

:.] 


t'; 


70 


Tin;    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


♦4 


I' Pit 


(leiu'o   tluMV,  nil    1  had    iiM    worked   siui'  inyscli'.  I    lind 
l)0(Mi  drowiu'd. 

Altout  as  cool  "  aside  '"as  1  know  was  that  of  an 
old  (U'aler  who  was  exhortinti  his  son  to  ])ra('tise 
honesty  in  his  dealing's  on  the  iiroiind  of  its  beiiiLi'  the 
'•  host  policy,"  (inietly  added.  "  I  hae  tried  haith."* 

A  Scotch  |)i|)er  was  jiassinu' thronuh  a  deej)  I'orest. 
in  tlu'  evening'  he  sat  down  to  eat  his  supper,  when  a 
niiinher  of  hiiiiu'iy  w(dves  made  tlieii'  a|»pearance.  In 
<eit'  del'ence  lie  l)e<::m  to  throw  pieces  n\'  his  vicHiais  to 
them,  wliich  they  u'l'eeiliiy  devoured.  In  a  fit  ol'  <ie- 
spair  he  took  hi>  pipes  and  heLian  to  play.  The  nniisnal 
sonnd  teriilied  the  wolves,  which  look  tollicir  heels, 
Sandy  tpiietly  said.  ••<>d.  aii  I'd  kcniicd  ye  likct  the 
pipes  sac  wcel.  IM  a  L^ieii  ye  a  spi'in;:'  afore  sapper."" 

1  don't  know  a  iietter example  of  sly  <arcasni  than 
the  I'ollowini;  an.-wer  of  a  Scottish  servant  to  his  en- 
raged master.  A  \\(  IKknowii  <-oar.-e  and  aluisivc  law 
fnnctionary  \\a>  dri\in!j  on  his  Lironnds.  was  shaken 
hy  his  carriaiK  sti'ikiiiii'  a  stone  at  the  Liate.  lie  was 
\-ery  aniiry.  and  ordei'cd  the  ^atekeeijcr  In  lia\e  it  re- 
moNcd  I X  Tore  his  relni'n;  on  conunu-  home  the  -hock 
was  >till  more  se\-ere.  the  an;iiy  man  roared  ont  ■•  von 
rascal,  if  yon  don"t  send  that  heastly  stone  to  h  I'll 

l)reak  yonrhead.""  ••.Well.""  said  the  man  (piietlv. 
and  without  nicaninv!'  anythinL;  irreverent .  "  aihlinsnin 
it  were  sent  to  heaven  it  wad  he  more  out  of  voiir  lord- 
shi|)"s  way." 

Ivev.  I'atrick  Siev,art  one  Snnday  t(Mik  lo  the 
|)nlpil  a  sermon  wilhonl  lookinu  at  the  lir>t  lew  pau'es. 
as  he  rose  to  commence  his  sermon,  he  said.  "  Mv 
hrelhren.  I  liiid  (hat  the  mice  have  made  Tree  with  the 


I 


} 


I 


a 

s 


A  j)YiN(;   i;ri(  ri;i:. 


71 


■•i 


«(' 
ic 

si. 
I  a 
III 

to 

le- 

iial 


1.4 


I 


be^iimint;'  of  my  si'i'iiioii.  so  that  I  cannot  tell  you 
wluiiir  the  text  is  ;  hut  we  will  just  \)v</\\i  whaiir  the 
jiiice  have  left  ott".  and  \V(>"11  lind  the  text  as  we  '^-o 
iilong." 

An  old  hatelu'lor.  a  minister,  on  entering:'  the 
pulpit  one  <lay.  lound  that  he  IkuI  toruotteii  his  sermon. 
He  aeeoi'diiiLi'ly  stood  up  in  the  pulpit  and  thus  accosted 
his  faithful  domestie.  Annie:  1  say  Annie,  we're  eom- 
niitted  a  mistahe  the  day.  you  maun  jist  iianu'  your 
waa's  haiiio.  and  ye"ll  L:(t  my  sci'iiiou  (Uit  of  '"  the 
l)reek-|)oueli.""  an  wee"!  sinu  to  the  praise  o"  the  Lord 
till  ye  eonic  l)aek.  Annie,  of  course.  .U  once  cxecutcil 
her  im|)ortanl  commi,~-ion  and  lirou.iht  the  sermon  out 
of  the  breid^-pouch.  uiid  the  >er\  iee  was  coiupleieil. 

Di;.  r>Y!;(»\i .  on  pri'achimr. 

"  Tile  specious  -^eniioiis  of  ;i  leiii'iied  man 
Are  litlle  else  than  liaslies  in   'lie  pan. 
Tile  mere  luirami;:iiii!' (Upon  wlial  ilie,\  call 
.Moi'aiit  V  )  i-<  powilei'  witheul  liall; 
l)Ul  lie  wlio  pi'eaclies  wiiii  a  Clirisliaii  n'l'acc, 
Fires  al  our  vices,  and  the  sliot  lakes  place. " 

AN    i;i'i(i  i;i:   miNc 

"  .\\    ieiiLi'tli.   mv   Irielids,  the  I'easl  of  lil'e  is  o'er  . 
I've  ale  siillicieiit— ami  I'll  drill!';  no  more, 
My  iiiLiiit  is  come  :   I've  spent  a  Jo\ial  day  : 
'I'is  lime  lo  pail  :  Inil  ()!  what  is  id  pay?" 

.\  sermon  preached  hy  an  idd  miiii.-Ier  lo  three 
liiu'lnvayiiieii  who  had  roi)l)ed  him  siiid  lour  i:enllcinen; 
hilt  he  heiiiicd  \-eiy  lianl  f(U' a  litlle  money,  tind  llu'V 
"  heiiiu'  li'enerous  fellows""  L!ii\c  him  all  his  money  hiud; 
au'aiii  on  comlilioii  of  his  preachiiiLi  iheiii  a  sermon. 
So  laUinu'   them    oiV  the   hiuhwav    he  >aid  :     •■(leiille- 


T 


i„#^ 


If:      ,  .  I 


'  fit 


•I' 


72 


THE    OI)l>    MAN    AM)    HIS    (H)I)ITIE«. 


men,  you  arc  the  most  like  the  old  apostlos  of  any  men 
in  the  world,  for  they  were  wanderers  njxtn  the  earth,, 
and  so  are  you;  they  had  UiMther  lands  nor  tenenients 
that  tiiey  eonld  call  their  own,  iu>ither,  as  I  presume, 
have  you;  they  were  despised  of  all  hut  those  of  their 
own  profession,  and  so.  1  helieve,  are  you;  they  were 
unalterahly  fixed  in  the  principles  they  professed,  and 
I  dare  say  so  arc  you;  they  wme  often  hurried  into 
jails  and  [)risons,  were  persecuted  hy  the  [)eople,  and. 
endured  ureat  hardships — all  of  which  sutVerin<rs,  I  pre- 
sume, have  been  mideriione  by  you;  their  profession 
brouirht  them  all  t<t  untimely  deaths,  and  if  you  con- 
tinue in  your  course,  so  will  y(»ui's  brinti'  you.  lint  in 
this  point,  beloved,  you  dilVt'r  miyhtily ;  f(M"  thea[)ostles 
asi'i'uded  from  tiu' tree  into  heaven,  where.  1  am  afraid, 
you  will  never  conu^;  but  as  theii'  deaths  were  compi'U- 
sated  with  etei'ual  u'lory.  yours  will  be  rewarded  with 
eternal  shame  and  misei'y,  unless  you  mend  your 
manners." 

\     IIAI'I'V    (OMSI'M.MATION. 

At  Christ's  church,  on  Kasfer  Sunday,  the  min- 
ister aiuiouneed  that  the  otfertory  would  be  applied  to 
reducing:  the  debt  cm  the  church.  Durinu'  the  siuuiuu' 
of  the  anthem,  while  tlu'  collection  was  beinu'  taken 
up,  the  tenor,  who  was  a  (Jerman,  had  a  solo  in  which 
occurred  the  words:  "And  the  dead  shall  be  raised." 
He  succeeded  in  elcctrifyinti,'  thecoiiiirefxation  by  ^ivin  <i- 
out  at   the  top  of  his  voice,   "  I'nd  /,e   debt   shall    be 


I 


ra 


ised  in  ze  twhinkliny  of  an  eve 


■m 


riii:    lONcri;. 


!TN(ii:NT    riM    \(  IIIN(i, 


73 


All  old  iiiiin.  hc'mu'  asked  Iiis  ()]>ini()ii  of  a  certain 
>enuoii,  replied,  I  liked  it  very  widl,  exeept  that  there 
was  no  piiu'h  to  it.  I  always  like  to  have  a  pinch  to 
evei'v  sermon.  I  was  reminded  of  this  anecdote  by  the 
I'emark  of  a  son  of  Tseptnne  from  Nantucket,  whom  I 
met  in  tlu>  uailery  of  a  crowded  church  last  Sabbath 
cvcninii'.  He  said,  "  It  was  a  handsome  sermon,  but 
he  would  have  liked  it  better  if  it  had  struck  the  har- 
poon into  the  conscience  oi' the  sinner." 

riii;  TOM  in:. 

"  Tlic  lioiiclcss  toiiiiuc.  so  small  ;ni(l  weak. 
Can  (Tusli  and  kill,"  dct'lai'cil  llic  (ircck. 

"  Tilt'  toiiiiHc  destroys  a  iiT(,'atcr  horde," 
Tiic  Turk  asserts,  "  than  do(;s  the  sword," 

The  Persian  [trovcrh  wisely  saitii: 
"  A  leniitliy  tongue  an  early  death." 

Or  sometimes  takes  this  I'orni  instead  ; 

•■  Don't  let  your  toniiue  cut  otV  your  head." 

"The  tonu'ue  can  speak  a  word  whose  speed," 
Says  t  lie  Chinese,  ••oulstrii)s  the  steed." 

While  Aral)  sa.ii'es  this  impart  : 

■■  The  touii'ue's  ureal  storehouse  is  the  heart." 

From  Hebrew  wit  this  maxim  spruni;'  :  ^ 

•'  Thouuii  feet  sliould  slip,  ne'er  let  the  tunguo." 

The  sacred  writer  crowns  the  whole  : 

"  Who  keeps  liis  tonirue  doth  keep  his  soul," 

liKV.  Mi{.  SiMMKUi'iKM). — It  is  recorded  of  tho 
late  Mr.  Summertiehl  tluU  beinn  asked  by  ii  bishop 
where  he  was  born,  he    replied,    "1  was  born  in  Eng- 


1' 


A 


n 


I  91  -i 


rili:    ODD    MAN    AND    III«    ODDITIKS. 


land,  and  horn  auain  in  Ireland."  What  do  you  mean? 
said  the  hisho}*?  ''Art  thou  a  nuiriter  in  I(«rael,  and 
kuowest  not  these  thinii's,"  was  the  i'e])ly. 

IvoWLAND  I  III, I,. — The  secret  of  liis  succe.ss  in 
preaching'  lay  in  his  keeping;'  close  to  nature  :  for  what 
afVeeted  his  own  heart,  used  to  atfeet  the  hearts  of 
others.  Slieridan  used  to  say  of  him.  I  <z'o  to  hear 
Rowland  Hill  hecaiise  his  ideas  eonie  red-hot  Ironi  liis 
heart  :  on  oui'  occasion.  Dr.  Milner.  the  dean  of 
Carlisle,  was  so  wrought  u])Oi)  hy  the  sim'iuou.  that  he 
went  to  him.  and  said.  "  Mr.  Hill.  Mi'.  Hill.  I  felt  to- 
day :  "lis  this  sla[»-dash  pi'enchiiii:'.  say  what  they  will, 
t  lial  docs  all  the  ^0(»(1." " 

Notices  on  slij)s  (d'  ))ai)cr  were  ]»crj)et ually  |)lacc(| 
ill  Mr.  llilTs  hands  as  he  entered  the  pulpit.  .\ii  im- 
pudent felliiw  phuH'd  a  notice  on  the  readiu*:'  desk,  just 
itefore  he  was  to  read  prayers.  lie  lnok  it.  and  heu'aii 
readinii  it  aliMid  to  rim  cou_i>'re_i!iitioii.  The  pra\'ers  of 
this  coiiLii'i'^atioii  are  desirecl-- nmpli — for — um])h — 
well.  1  si!pp(ts(>  I  must  finish  what  I  ha\-c  heuuii — for 
the  llev.  Kowlaiid  Hill,  that  he  will  not  eo  ridiiiu' ahotit 
ill  his  carriaLiH'  on  a  Sunday  !  This  would  have  diseon- 
certed  almost  any  other  man  :  htil  he  looked  up  as 
cooly  as  jiossihie.  and  said.  ■•  If  the  writer  (d' this  piece 
of  folly  and  impertinence  is  in  the  c(»iuzreLiation.  ami 
will  iid  ijito  the  vestry  after  service,  and  let  me  put  a 
saddle  on  his  hack.  I  will  ride  him  home  instead  of 
ii(»iiit;'  in  my  carria,i.;'e."  He  then  went  on  with  the 
services  as  if  nothinu'  had  haj»i)ened. — JJ/e  by  Sidney. 


I 


to 
IK 


un 


to 
W 
St  I 
Ol 

III 

h< 


1 


ii 


i 


SIIAIM'     I'ool.s. 


rxirAM.ow  r.i)  (  i  kiosiiv. 


(•) 


When  Auti'ustinc  was  oiicr  asked,  what  (n»(l  wa- 
(l(un_u'  hefoi'i'  creation,  he  answcind.  ••  Ptcparinj;'  Hell 
i'(»r  impertinent  ([nerists."  Lutliei  was  wont  to  pray 
thus.  From  a  vain,  u'lorions  doctor,  from  a  contenti-iu- 
pastor,  and  from  unpi'oHtaMc  vuestions.  the  izood  Lord 
deliver  his  churcli. 

\VmTi;ni:Li».  The  late  .Mr.  Whitelield  in  a  ser- 
mon he  ])reache(l  at  Ilawitrtli  I'or  .Mr.  (irimshaw  lia\'- 
in<:'  spoken  severely  of  those  professors  of  the  ^dspcl 
who.  hy  their  loose  and  evil  conduct,  caused  tlic  way- 
of  trnth  to  he  evil  spoken  of.  intimated  Ins  ho|ie.  that 
it  was  not  neee>sar\-  to  enlarLic  much  upon  that  pojut 
to  the  couLireuatiiui  l)el'ore  him.  who  had  so  loni;cn- 
joyed  the  henehl  nf  an  ahleaml  j'aithfnl  preacdur.  and 
he  was  williuL;-  lo  helievt'  that  their  jU'olitiuu  appeai'eil 
to  all  nuMi.  This  i'ou>ed  .Mr.  (iriui>haw"s  .-piiit.  and 
notwithstandim:  tiie  Lii'ea.t  re;^ai(l  he  had  for  the 
preacher,  he  stoo(|  up  and  interrupted  him,  -ayini:. 
with  a  loud  voice.  "'  ( )li  sir  I  for  (lod">  sal^c  il"  not 
spi'ak  so:  1  pra\  .  vou  di>  not  llattcr  them  ;  1  fear  the 
iireatcr  part  ol'  llieui  aie  izoiui.'  to  hell  with  their  eves 
open."" 

l'i;i!s-i;\i:i;.\N(i;.--Two  colore<l  men  who  had  heen 
to  hear  an  el(K)Uent  discourse,  were  convi'rsiiiL;' ahout  it, 
when  one  of  them  remarked  "  that  he  could  not  under- 
stand,"* The  other  replic(l  that  he  understood  all  Imt 
(Uie  W()r<l.  "  What  dat?""  •'  rer>ewerance  I  ""  "  Oh, 
me  tell  yon  what  dat  nu'ans.  it  means,  takeriu'ht  hold, 
hold  fast,  ham:'  on.  ami  no  let  u'o." 


;*■  'f; 


i#ri| 


7.6 


Tin:    oDIl^MAN    AND    Ills    ODDITIKS. 


Ki:v.  Rowland  HiM.oftoii  ivpontod  of  a  favorite 
siuthor:  Mr.  Bijrotrv  foil  and  broke  his  Icu'  ;  would 
that  he  had  hrokoii  liis  neck  ! 

"A    MAN    AND    Ills    SIIOKS." 

How  iniu'li  ji  niiiii  is  like  old  shoes  I 

For  instance,  both  a  soul  may  lose. 

Botli  have  been  tanncid,  and  both  iwc  made  tight 

!)>•  cobblers,  and  both  get  left  and  right. 

Hoth  need  a  mate  to  bo  complete, 

And  both  are  made  to  go  on  feet. 

IJotli  need  healing  and  botli  grow  old, 

And  both  in  time  will  turn  to  mould. 

^Vitll  shoes  the  last  is  lirst,  witii  men 

The  lirst  shall  be  last,  and  Avhen 

Shoi'S  wea>'  out,  they're  mended  new. 

When  men  wear  out  they're  men — dead  too. 

They  both  arc  trod  upon,  and  botii 

Tread  on  others  nothing  loth. 

Both  have  their  ties,  and  both  incline  ■ 

When  polished  in  the  Avorld  to  shine. 

They  both  ])eg  out.     80  would  you  choose 

To  be  a  man  or  l)e  his  shoes? 

Havnks. — When  a  r(>vival  of  religion  was  in  i)ro- 
•iress  in  his  parish,  and  Satan  uave  intimations  of 
dissatisfaction,  (as  he  is  wont  to  (\o  at  such  times)  some 
of  his  sttulents.  havinu'  l)een  slandered  for  their  zeal 
and  activity,  nuide  their  complaints  to  him  of  what 
they  had  suffered,  and  expi'cted  his  syin])athy  ami  pro- 
tection. .\fter  a  i)aiise,  Mr.  Ilaynes  observed,  "  1 
knew  all  this  before."  "  Why,  then,"  said  (Hie,  "did 
yon  not  inform  us?"  "  Because,"  sjiid  he,  "  It  was 
not  worth  communicating^  ;  and  I  tell  yon  plainly,  and 
oiu'c  f(M'all,  liiy  yonnji' friends,  it  is  best  to  let  the  devil 
carry  his  own  uuiil  and  bear  its  ex|)enses." 


;*  -m 


Tin;  rsi;  oi-  timk. 


I  I 


'' Tin:  Dkvii.  is  I)i:ai)."  —  It  i-  sii<l  that  sonic 
time  after  the  [)iihliejitioii  of  Mr.  Ilayiie's  si-niKtii  nn 
the  text,  '"Thou  shnlt  ii(»t  surely  die.""  two  r('ckh's> 
young"  men  havinu-  agreed  together  to  try  his  wit,  one 
of  them  said  to  Fatiier  Hayiies.  "  Have  you  hi-artl  t!ie 
good  news?"  "•  Xo."  said  he.  ••  What  is  it?"  •'  It 
is  great  news,"  ''indeed/'  ,-aidthe  other.  •■  :ind  if  ti'ue 
your  business  is  over."  '•  What  is  it."  again  iu(inired 
Mr.  Haynes.  "  ^^'hy."  said  the  other.  '•  the  <K'vil  is 
dead."  In  a  moment  tlie  ohl  gentleman  replied,  "oil. 
|)oor  fatiierless  ehihiren    wliat  will   heeome  of  yon  ?  " 


rin;  rsi:  oi'  timi:. 

The    celehrated    Lord   ("oke    wrote    the  subjoined 

distieh  which  he  slrictl\  observed,  in   the  distribntiiui 

(tf  time  ; — 

"  Six  hours  to  sleep — to  Ifiw  's  grave  study  six, 
Four  spend  in  prayer— tlic  rest  to  nature  tix." 

But  Sir  William  .loiu's,  a  w  iser  economist  of  the 
fleeting  hours  of  life,  mended  the  sentiment  in  the  fol- 
lowing lines  :- 

"Seven  lioinvs  to  law — to  soothing  slunil)erseven, 
Ten  to  llie  world,  allot— and  all  to  heaven  " 

Dr.  Rush  onee  aske<l  Mr.  Morris  how  he  liUcil  a 
Kermon  that  wa^  much  talked  otV.  "  Why,  (h)etor," 
said  he,  "  I  did  not  like  it  all.  it  is  too  snn)otli  ami 
tame  for  me."  "  Mr.  Morris,"  said  the  (h)ctor, 
"  what  sort  of  sermon  do  you  like?"  "  I  like,  sir," 
replied  Mr.  Morris,  "  that  preaching  wliieh  drives  me 
up  into  the  corner  of  the  pew,  and  makes  me  think  the 
ilevil  is  after  me." 


i-~ia«%i¥vm.':Vt«  V 


L'# 


78 


rilK    ODD    MAX    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


WHAT    IS    A    COHNSTALK  .'' 


lii 


W'liiit  is  this  (Jod  iil)oiil  whom  you  have  been  stiy- 
iiiii  so  imu'li  ?  said  an  iinhcliovoi-  to  a  pivaclier,  at'tor 
hiarinu  a  discourse  about  (red.  ''(lod  is  a  spirit," 
replied  (he  ))iva('her.  Wliat  is  a  spirit  I  asked  the 
sceptic.  Horc'cly.  What  is  a  cornstalk?  rejoined  the 
preacher.  Why.  why,  a  cornstalk  is  a  cornstalk.  Ves 
sir.  said  the  pi'eiU'hcr.  a  spirit  is  a  spii-it  ;  and  it'  you 
laiinot  tell  nie  what  a  cornstalk  is,  whi(d)  you  have 
>een  a  thousand  times,  and  know  ha^  an  existciu'c, 
why  do  yon  tisk  me  to  tell  you  what  the  Inliuite  spii'it 
is.  or  why  do  you  doid»t  his  exisieiu'e? 

The  skeptic  was  linnb.  as  all  unbtdievei's  are,  ami 
will,  when  they  staiul  to  be  judged  by  that  (Jod  whoM' 
name  they  blaspheme  and  whose  words  they  dt'spi.se. 

N(!    slKsl  ri'iri',    l't>i!    (  lllilsl  I  ANirv. 

Iididels  should  never  talk  of  our  ^ivinu  up 
Chi'istianily  till  lhe\  can  propose  something' superior  to 
it  Loi'd  ( "liestertield's  answer,  ihererore,  to  an  infidel 
lady  was  very  just.  When  at  lirussels  he  was  invited 
by  N'oltaire  to  su|)  with  him  and  Madam  ('.  'I'he  con- 
vei'sation  happeuini;'  t(»  turi'  upon  the  alVairs  (d"  Kn^'- 
land.  "I  think,  my  Lord,"  said  Madanu' ('..  '"that 
the  parliai.ient  ol'  10n<;'land  consists  ol'  live  or  six 
hundred  of  th»'  best  i'd'orme(|  men  in  the  kin^idom." 
"  True,  uuulame,  they  nroy:i'nerally  supposed  to  be  so.'* 
"What,  t!«eu,  my  lord,  can  be  the  reason  they  tolerate 
so  on-at  an  absurdity  as  Christianity.''  "I  sup- 
pose, mndame,"  replied  his  Lordship,  "  it  is  beeuuHo 
thev  have  not    be«'ii  able  to  substitute  anvlhiny:  better 


in- 
th 


HUMAN    NATUKi:. 


79 


'V 


in  itsstotul;   whoii  tluy  can,  I  don't  (Icuht  hut  in  tiu'ir 
wiisdoni  they  will  rwidily  adopl  it." 


IHMAX    NATrUK. 

When   some  one  was  talking'  ix'Tort-  thai   Scotcli- 

injin,  Dr.  Cheyne,  of  the  exeellenec  of  human  nature, 

•  Hoot,  \w<>\,  mon,"  said  he,  human  nature  is  a  i'o;j;u('. 

and  a  scoundrel,  or  why  would  it   |)er[)ciually  stand  in 

need  of  laws  and  ndii^ion. 

rooi;   si'i  IK. 

"  Well,  l^'ather  IJi'own.  how  did  you  like  the  scr- 
nnm  yesterday  V"  asked  ;■  younii'  |ireacher.  ••  \v  see, 
parson,"  was  the  i'(  ply.  "  1  ha\'en"t  a  lair  chance  at 
them  sermons  of  yonrs.  1  am  an  old  man  now,  and 
hav(>  to  sit  pretty  well  hack  hy  the  -love,  and  there's 
old  Miss  Smithie,  WidderTalV.  and  1\\  land's  dauuhters, 
and  all  the  I'esl.  sittiu  in  IVont  of  me  with  their  mouths 
open  swallowing  down  all  ihe  hest  of  tlu^  sermon  an 
what  ^ets  down  to  me  is  pretty  poor  stulV,  |iarson, 
pr<>tty  po(U'  siulV." 

.\  mauniliceni  memorial  window  was  last  year  pri'- 
sente<l  to  St.  Margaret's  Church,  Westminsler,  hy 
American  citizen^,  in  hoiioi-  of  Sir  Walter  Ualeiiih, 
whose  headless  body  was  ciU'ried  (olhecluirch  from  the 
seallold.  The  followiuLi,'  I'onr  lines  were  written  as  an 
inscription  for  Ihe  win<low  hy  Mi'.  <l.  Kussell  Lowell, 
the  Ainerii'an  Minister: 

Tlie  New  World's  so-  .  fnMii  Eiiglaiul's  Itrcast  we  dicw 
8ucli  milk  as  bids  rcmemlH'r  wiieai't!  we  came, 

I'loud  of  lu'r  past  whcicfroni  our  future  urew. 
This  window  we  iascrilK'  willi  Hiilci.!j,li's  fiuiie. 


^!i 


111 
if 


Ill 


V'.-< 


80 


TlIK    OKI)    MAX    AXD    HIS    ODDITIES. 


4 

(■if 


1 


A  fino  \viu('.(t\v  pi'oseiitcMl  to  the  cluircli  about  the 
same  time,  mainly  hv  tlie  publishers  and  printers  (»!" 
Loiidun.  in  honor  of  Caxton,  who  ..Iso  lies  buried 
there.  For  this  window  the  t'ollowinu'  four  line.'^  have 
been  written  as  an  ins('ri])tlon  bv  Mi-,  'rennyson.  They 
are  founded  on  ("axton's  motto,  "  Juat  luv,"  which  is 
(Mublazoned  (jii  the  window  : 

Thy  prayer  was,  "  Liyiit  —more  Liylil — while  Time  shall  last '" 

Thou  sawi'sl  a  glory  arowiii!;'  on  I'.c  ui.u'ht. 
But  not  tlic  shadows  whicii  tliat  li^'ht  would  cast, 

Till  shadows  vanish  in  the  bii^lit  of  liigiit. 

ODD   1  AWS. 

TiiK  151. ii:   LAWS  OK  coNMic  ricrT   i;i:i,.\  I'lNc;  to 

i!i;i,i(ii()N. 

No  man  shall  l)c  a  free  man.  or  u'ivc  a  vote.  uides>  he 
be  a  meud)er  in  full  conuuuuioii  with  one  of  the 
churches  aUowcMl  in  this  dominion. 

Kach  free  nuiu  shall  sweai'  by  ihe  bh'sscd  (iud  |u 
l)ear  true  alh'uiam'e  to  this  (himinioii  ai'd  thai  Jesu>  is 
the  only  Kinu'.  No  nur.i  shall  hold  ofiice  who  is  not 
s(uind  in  I'aith  to  his  denomiuation. 

No  lodjLvin.u'  or  food  shall  be  oiVercd  to  a  (^uaU"r, 
Adamitt'.  oraiiy  other  heretic. 

If  any  |>ei>on  turns  (Quaker,  he  >liall  be  banished, 
and  if  he  I'eturus,  he  shall  sulVci  death. 

No  priest  shall  abide  in  the  dominion,  he  shall  be 
baiMshed  and  sutVer  death  if  he  return. 

No  person  shall  run  on  the  Sabbath,  or  walk  in  the 
ai'ch'U  i)\'  elsewheri',  e.\ce|it  i'ervV'ully  to  ami  from 
nu'etiiiii's.  No  pei'son  shall  tiavel,  cook  viclmds.  make 
beds,  shave  or  cul  hair  on  the  Sabbliath  dav. 


I 


.. 


ODD     I,AWS. 


St 


The  Sabhiith  sluill  begin  at  sunset  on  Stitunlay. 

No  person  sluill  rejul  common  prayer,  keep  (Mirist- 
mas  or  Saint's  day,  make  mince  pies,  play  cards,  dance 
or  play  any  kind  of  music  exce])t  the  trumpet,  or  Jews 
harp. 

Xo  minister  shall  join  people  in  marriage  ;  the 
magistrate  only  shall  join  peo[)le  in  marriage  as  they 
may  do  it  with  less  scandal  to  Christ's  church. 

JJRY    SKiniONS. 

One  ol'  our  city  clergymen  on  removing  hither 
with  his  household  gods  and  goods,  carefully  packed 
his  sermons  and  marked  tlie  box  "  keej)  dry."  It  is 
not  every  [)reacher  who  is  willii  '."  make  such  iui  ad- 
nussion  in  black  and  while. 


b.' 


■&* 


;.i2 


Tin:    ODD    MAN     AND    PIIS    ODDITIKS. 


""":: 

ii:,. 


.  ! 


d* 


^;ffil> 


<<»' 


^1 


('HAlTi:U  V. 

A  ('((lU'ctioii  of  the  oddities  of  the  ]*ress,  would, 
to  my  iinnd.  form  a  most  intei'ostin.i!,'  ('iini)tei'  in  the 
iiiriosities  of  literature,  1  here  jU'esent  my  readers  with 
a  few  spccinuMis  which  have  come  under  my  o\vu  obser- 
vation. 

Sonic  years  aii'o  the  London  Tinicn,  in  speaking'  of 
a  discussion  ht'forc  the  council  of  minist(>rs,  when  Lor<l 
lironahain  was  Chancellor,  stated  ''that  tht>  cliamlelie}' 
liad  thrown  an  extraordinary  liuht  u])onthe  <|Uestion.'* 

In  one  of  the  editions  of  Davidson's  Populai' 
Kmi'lish  (iranimar.  the  prim-iple  parts  of  the  verli.  to 
I'hide.  wcri' u'iven  as  follows: — •"  Present  infinitivt' — to 
chid  ;  [>ast  tiniti' — I  chid  ;  past  intinitixc-  to  have 
children." 

in  the  London  C'^nrier.  some  year.-  aii<>,  his 
majesty  (iem-u'e  the  1\'..  was  said  to  have  a  lit  of  the 
yoat  at  IJriu'hton.  the  doctors  called  it  the  u'oiit. 

Another  journal  advci'tised  a  sei'mon  Uy  a  celc- 
l)rat<M|  divine  on  the  Inuuorality  of  the  Soul,  ami  also 
one  on  the  Lies  of  the  Poets,  a  \\(»rl\,  no  doid)t,  oi' 
many  volumes. 

The  London  (iloha  once  \>:\\\v  an  extract  from  the 
Iveiiisti'ar's  returns,  in  which  it  was  stated  that  the  in- 
habitants of  liondon  were  suiferin^at  that  time  "  from 
a  hii:h  rale  of  niitralitt/." 

\  waii.  once  asked  what  is  treason,  hut  reason  to 
3J  T?      Which  'P.  an  accident  of  (he  Press  may  displace 


b«<la 


ODD    HI,rXDi;ilS. 


83 


with  mo.st  awkward  offect.  On  thf  other  hand,  a 
printer  who  omit  ed  the  Hrst  letter  of  Mr.  Harwell's 
name  might  have  pkjaded  that  it  was  an  well  without 
the  H. 

In  a  volume  of  American  Chancery  Ke))orts,  it  is 
said  to  be  decided  that  cari)enters(e  /-partners)  are  liable 
for  one  an(^ther's  debts. 

Some  years  aao  an  editor  ol'  the  South,  wishinu'  to 
congratulate  ( Jenci'al  Pillow  after  his  return  from 
iMexico  as  a  battle  scari'e<l  veteriin.  was  made  by  the 
tyjx's  to  (diaractcrize  him  as  a  "  battle  sciired  vetei'an." 
The  indignant  geiu'ral  rushing  into  the  editorial 
sanctum,  deuianding  an  e\i)lanation,  which  was  given, 
and  a  correction  promised  in  the  next  day's  i)a|»er. 
.1  udgc  of  the  editor's  feelings  on  the  morrow,  when,  ;is  if 
to  heap  horrors  u|Mtn  horroi's,  lie  I'onnd  the  general 
styled  in  the  revised  pai'agrapli.  •'thatscarred  vct(M-an!!' 

This  was  less  excusabh'  than  the  blunder  of  an 
iMiglish  journal,  whiidi  stated.  "  that  the  Iviissian 
(icncral  IJackiiiolfkow-ki  was  found  dead  with  a  long 
woi'd  in  his  ni(uith,"'  lor  no  couipositoi'could  be  blamed 
for  leaving  out  'i  letter  in  a  sentence  after  setting  up 
sueli  a   name  corrt'ctly.       A  Ioul''  swor<l  was   intended. 

In  an  article  on  the  subject  of  literature  for 
children,  we  wrote  :  •"  it  is  true  they  will  devour  the 
most  indigesiible  pidtniinn  for  want  of  iu'lier."  '['he 
last  word  ol' this  sentence  was  transiormed  by  Ihe  ty|)o- 
graphical  imp  f(U'  want  of  ftntter. 

Perhaps  the  most  fearful  error  of  the  Press  that 
t'V(>r  occurred  was  cau>ed  b\  the  letter  ('  dr<tpping  out 
of  the   following  pas>ag<'  in  a  "I^MMn""  of  the  book  of 


84 


THE    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITn:S. 


-111 

m 


•ih 


5- 


lii 


•if 


common    prayer:    "We  shall    all  be    changed  in    a 
moment  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye." 

When  the  hook  appeared,  the  par^sage,  to  the  horror  of 
the  devout  reader,  was  })rinted  thus,  "  We  shall  all  he 
hayiged  in  a  moment  in  the  twinkling  of  an  eye,'' 

Some  years  ago  the  editor  of  the  Portland,  ^le., 
Argus  undertook  to  com])liment  an  eminent  citizen  "  as 
a  noble  old  burgher,  proudly  loving  his  native  state;" 
but  the  neatly  turned  complin\ent  came  from  cimi- 
positors  hands,  "  a  nobby  old  burglar  prowling  round 
in  a  naked  state." 

This  is  almost  a  match  for  a  telegraphic  bhuider 
of  which  the  Rev.  eloseph  Cook  tells.  Not  long  ago 
Ernest  Kenan  had  occasion  to  telegraph  across  the 
British  Channel  the  sul)ject  of  a  proj)osed  lecture  by 
him  in  Westminster  Abbey.  The  subject,  as  written 
by  him,  was,  "The  InHuence  of  Home  on  the  Fornui- 
tion  oi'  Christianity."  It  was  announced  all  over  Kng- 
land,  "The  Influence  of  Kum  on  the  Digestion  of  Hu- 
manity." 

A  reporter  paid  a  well-known  city  belle  a  comf)li- 
ment,  saying,  "  Her  dainty  feet  were  iMicased  in  shoes 
that  nught  have  been  taken  for  fairy  boots."  Next 
morniiig  it  read,  "  Her  dirty  feet  were  encased  in 
shoes  that  might  have  been  taken  for  ferry  boats." 

A  writer  in  a  recent  article  repeated  the  anecdote 
of  the  poet  and  wrote,  "  See  the  pale  martyr  in  a  sheet 
of  fire."  Imagine  his  surprise,  as,  next  morning  it 
read,  "  See  the  pale  nuirtyr  with  his  shirt  on  fire;." 

It  must  have  been  a  new  beginner  that  set  up 
ftandu'tta,  making  it  read  "  I  am  better." 


f 

3' 


ODD    BUNDER!^, 


85 


A  lumber  merchant  rejxjrted  "  a  bridge  carried 
away  by  a  drive  of  logs."  The  morning  paper  had  it 
*'  a  bridge  carried  away  by  a  drove  of  liogs."' 

An  adverti.^ement  was  handed  in  '•  The  Christian's 
dream,  no  cross,  no  crown,"  it  appeared,  "The 
Christians  dream,  no  cows,  no  cream," 

A  reporter  of  a  Chicago  [)aper  once  referred  to  an 
intelligent  craftsman  as  "a  thinking  tailor,"  the 
printer  made  it  read  '•  a  thieving  tailor.""  The  storm 
struck  the  reporter  and  not  the  printer. 

The  Cincinnati  Enquirer  uwcc  created  a  sen.^ation, 
in  display  type,  that  a  gang  of  American  counter- 
feiters •■  had  been  shaving  the  (^uecn,""  when  shoving 
the  ((ueer  was  inteixled. 

One  of  the  woi'st  instances  of  misprint  was  wliere 
the  lieading  "A  Iluiieyinoon  Cut  Short,""  was  printed 
in  full  face  ty|t('.  ""A  Hungarian  cut  throat."' 

Another  e(|ually  disagreealtle  blundi'r.  to  the  par- 
tics  interestod.  was  where  a  distinguished  traveler  was 
reported  as  having  I'ecently  died  in  tlic  *■  richness  of 
sin.""  An  apology  was  ma<le  the  next  issue  when  the 
editor  informed  tlu'  pui)lic  that  the  "  interior  of  Asia" 
was  what  lu'  iuleuded  to  write. 

IV'i'ha|>s  uo  iie\vs|)a|)er  writer  was  ever  luore  dis- 
turbed by  a  trifle  tliau  was  the  society  re|)orter.  who, 
in  desciiiting  the  lielle  of  a  i'ashioualile  party,  iiitended 
t(»  sav.  "she  looked  unfttif,"  hut  found  that  an  un- 
fi'cling  printer  had  uuide  it  read  "she  Vw\<.(h\  all  feet."" 

Of  all  writers,  the  late  Horace  ( ireehy  was  most 
noted  for  illegible  copy.  Ou  one  occasion  hi'  pi'uned 
Homi'thing  about  "  suburban  jourmdism  advancing," 
but    the  type   setter    thiidcing    it    one   of    his    famous 


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86 


THE    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIES. 


agricultural  articles,    launched   out    wildly    with   the 
words,  "  superh  Jerusalem  artichokes." 

In  one  of  (Ireelev's  articles  "William  H.  Seward," 
was  turned  into  "  William  the  Third,"  and  the  quota- 
tion from  Shakspeare,  "  tis  true,  tis  i)ity,  an<l  pity 
'tis  'tis  true,"  came  out.  "  tis  two,  tis  fiftv  and  fiftv, 
tis  fifty  two." 

It  is  somewhat  singular  how  often  the  omission  of 
a  seemingly  insignificant  letter  will  alter  the  entire 
meaning  of  a  sentence.  For  instance,  several  errors 
are  recorded  where  the  letter  "n"'  lias  heen  omitted 
from  the  wor<l  "  window."  invariahly  placing  a  widow 
in  some  eml)arrassing  position  ;  as  where  on  the  occa- 
sion of  a  sti'eet  pageant,  a  gentleman  unwittingly  ad- 
vertised "several  widows  for  hire;"'  and  the  even 
worse  blunder,  in  a  religious  |)a})er  which  gratefully 
recorded  the  fact  that  "  ^Ii'.  had  very  gener- 
ously placed  a  stained-glass  widow  in  the  church  at 


The  other  day  "  Yankee  Doodle  "  was  printed 
"  Yankee  Boodle." 

A  poem  in  the  Somerville  ( Mass, )  Journal  once 
contained  this  remarkable  staii/a: 

"Who  took  nic  Irom  my  cliildhood's  lionic, 
And  said  he'd  love  iiic  all  alone, 
And  for  my  sacrifice  atone  V 
Dickenson  my  husband." 

"  Dickson  ■"  was  the  name  of  the  husband  ;  it  was 
sim])ly  a  (|uad  put  in  wi'ong  side  u|),  showing  the 
makei'"s  mune,  which  is  usually  stamped  on  the  bottom 
of  the  type,  ((^uads — blanks  to  fill  out  brok(Mi  lines 
— are  shorter   than   letters,  and  onuht    not   to  show  in 


ODD   i;LrNDi;i;s. 


ST 


printed  inattor;  hut  a  new  roller  with  a  str(m<r  «<U('tiou 
will  often  pull  one  up  to  the  surface. ) 

It  is  stated,  on  the  authority  of  the  historian 
Kinlake,  that  it  was  the  intention  of  Louis  XajxtleoH 
to  eall  himself  sini])ly  Louis  Xapoleon,  and  that  the 
title  Napoleon  IIL  was  due  >olely  to  an  error  of  the 
types.  Just  hefore  the  coup  de  etnt,  a  minister  of  tlu' 
home  ottice,  busy  |>re})arinii'  public  sentiment,  wrote. 
Que  le  mot  d'ordre  soit  vivo  Najioleon  !  !  !  The  printei- 
took  ^  the  exclamations  for  '■  III."  and  so  the  procla- 
mation went  out.  was  copied  by  the  I'ress,  and  incor- 
porated in  public  speech.  It  was  no  time  i'or  explana- 
tion, and  so  the  nej)hew  of  his  uncle  ado|)ted  the  title. 

The  most  carefully  edited  journal  is  fallible.  Oif 
the  New  \ovV  Tferakh  proof  readers  have  been 
suspended  for  weeks.  In  spite  of  this  severe  (lisci])line. 
X\\v  Herald  ynn-v  made  the  astonishiuLf  announcement 
that  a  lona;  liiu'  of  scorpions  feathers  tih'd  into  church, 
instead  of  suri)liced  fathers." 

It    was   in    the  New    York     WorhVs   report   of   a 

political    meetinu'     that     the     word    '■'■shouts'''    was    so. 

Judiciously  misprinted  as  to  nud<e  the  blunder  famous., 

Tlie  ^^  snouts"  of    10,()(KI  people  rent  the  air,  read  the 

re|)ort. 

A  blunder  once  turned  "  evokinuthe  shadow  of  a 

shade  into  ••  cookiu<i'  the  shadow  of  a  shad."    Another 

chanu-ed  the  title  of   Bret    Ilarte's  storv.  "  Wan    Lee, 

the    rairan,"    in    a   review    into,    ''  William    Lee.    the 

Pauan." 

I'.AD    ITNCTIArioN. 

Aftei-   him   came    Lord   Salisbury  on   his  head;  a 
white  hat  on  his  feet:   lar^e,  but  well-blacked  b<»ots  nm 


m 


:li 


,«t;; 


.;;:;ti! 


:88 


TIIK    ODD    MAX    AND    IHS    ODDITIKS. 


>!!' 


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his  brow;  a  dark  cloud  in  his  han«l;  the  unavoi(hihle 
walking'  stick  in  his  eyes;  a  threatening  look  in  gloomy 
siloiice. 

A  Pittsburg  paper  made  ratlier  a  ridiculous 
l)hind('r  lately.  The  editorial  said,  ''  The  Legislature 
j)asted  the  bill  over  the  governor's  head." 

Will  you  please  insert  this  obituary  notice  ! 
jisked  an  old  gentlenmn  of  a  country  editor.  "  1  make 
b(»l(l  to  ask  it  because  I  knew  the  deceased  had  a  great 
nianv  Friends  about  here  who'd  be  glad  to  hear  of  his 
death." 

A  country  doctor  in  conversing  with  a  friend 
about  the  high  rati'  of  mortality  then  prevading,  lu> 
remarked.  ••  Bedad,  there  are  peo])le  dying  who  never 
died  before  I  "*  Speaking  of  a  neighbor  who  was  a 
daring,  rathei'than  an  cxpi'i't.  marint'i.  he  related  how 
"■  his  yacht  had  stuck  fast  an<l  loose  in  the  mud." 

An  Irish  newspapi'r  inferring  to  a  roblxM-y,  said. 
■'•  all  the  money  was  recovered,  after  a  diligent  search, 
except  a  pair  of  hoots." 

An  in(pK'st  was  held  and  a  vei-dict  rendered, 
••  that  this  |)erson  niel  his  death  by  tlu'  visitation  of 
(Jod  under  suspicious  circumstances.'" 

TheiH'  is  some  vei'y  odd  blunders  gle;ined  from  the 
reports  of  stenograplu'rs.  dross  I'eceipts  was  made  to 
read,  gmcery  seats. —  Tamarack  Huess,  reads  dum 
ricketyknees. — The  mothi-r's  prayer,  reads  the  mother's 
prioi'. —  lie  was  a  little  fellow,  read,  he  was  a  little 
full. —  They  captured  two  pari'ut  guns.  They  cai)turc(l 
two  pii-ate  guns. —  'i'he  wonnui  was  haking  bread,  the 
wonum  was  begging  bread. —  I  found  the  horse  in  that 
pasture,    in    that   [xisture. —  Counsel  offered    j)aper  in 


ii,  ■ 


,|;i 


ODD    HU'XDEKS. 


89 


evidence,  reads,  ouun.-'el  offered  a  i)ani)er  in  evidenee. 
Arthur  Waite,  the  clialk-talk  evangelist,  leads,  Artlmr 
Waite  the  clioektaw  evan<relist. — The  showers  were  not 
sufticienL  to  meet  the  wants  of  millnien,  reads,  wants 
of  milkmen. —  In  the  interveninn'  time  he  sairl 
nothinu',  in  the  entire  eveiiin,i>'  time  ho  said  uothini:-. — 
I  came  with  my  hrothers,  Horace  and  Hcnrv.  reads,  I 
came  with  my  Itrother's  horse  and  II(>nry. —  A  medii-al 
witness,  speakintr  of  the  illness  of  a  lady  patient  said, 
*'  she  appeared  to  he  somewhat  nnsirnn^' and  nerviMis." 
The  transcriher  made  hini  say.  "she  apjteaivd  to  he 
kneesprnn^'  and  nervons." —  A  minister  |)reachin«;'  a 
sermon  on  the  (h'ath  of  a  tienth'man  named  Samuel, 
(pioted:  "  And  hiids  and  l)h)ss()ms  in  the  dnst."'  He 
was  ama/.e(l  to  read  in  the  next  issue  of  the  i)a[)er; 
''  and  huds  and  blows  Samnel  in  the  dnst." 

An  attorney  asked  a  I'emale  witness  how  she  came 
to  he  employed  hy  the  |)laintilV.  and  she  answered  ;  I 
saw  a  >\'j:\\  in  the  window.  '•  l'\'mah'  clerks  wanted 
hei'c.""  The  hhinderinii'  re|»orter  rendered  it,  "■  Family 
color  \\arrante(l  here." " 

An  oi'ator  I'eferred  to  the  dilVei-ent  reliirious  sects, 
or  denonnnations  lioiniz'  f<>rone  another  throuu'hout  the 
country,  and  said:  ••  Here  we  have  one  sect  perse- 
cntina'  another."  and  was  so  reported,  hut  the 
transerihiM*  riMidei-ed  it.  "'heri'  we  have  one  sick  |ierson 
feedinu' another."  (oid  ^o  it  ai)|)eared  in  the  papers. 

Several  vears  a^o  an  ennnent  lawyer  hired  one  of 
these  professors  to  take  testimony  in  an  imi)ortant  case. 
The  transcribed  minutes  astonished  him.  they  read,  a 
patent,  upon  which  mnch  dei)ended  in  the  siut,  was 
converted   into  a  "  potentate;"  a  "solid   frame,"  was 


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Tin;    <)I>1)    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


conveitt'd  into  "an  Isolatoil  farm;"  tlio  I'liniacos  of 
this  t'oniitrv  wore  sot  down,  "  f.s  the  tinians  of  this 
('(timtrv,"  and  the  <|uostion,  "weie  you  in  the  liabit  of 
visiting  the  house!"  was  written:  wore  you  in  tlie 
habit  "•  of  fastening  the  hose." 

CONSIlKNZi;. 

The  rolh)win<>'  liappenod  in  one  of  the  leading 
Toronto  restaurants  :  A  swalh>w-taiK>d  waiter  of  pro- 
nfuineod  (lernian  extraction,  brought  a  |)hite  of  straw- 
boi'ries  to  a  eustonu'r.  The  enstonier  ventni'od  to  re- 
mark that  the  berries  were  stah'  and  (dd,  an  im- 
pression   wliieii   the  Teutonic   genth'man    imm(>diiit(dy 


'ouji'lit  to  remove 


II; 


ive  vou  anv  conscience,  the  lover 


of  berries  replied.  Conshenze?  conshen/.e?  Hans  re- 
replied.  "  I  haf  been  asked  I'or  dot  belore,  but  it  es 
not  on  tlic  bill  of  fare  to-da\'  !  " 


V»^l 


< 


A     DKI.K  All;    vol  N<;     l,AI>V 


She  could  swiiiui'  "  six  pound  (luinl»-l>t'll, 

She  (((uld  IViicc  iiiid  she  could  box  ; 
SIk!  could  row  upon  llic  river, 

Slit!  could  cliuulicr  'inonn'  the  rocks  ; 
She  (!ould  do  sonic  heavy  howlinu'. 

And  pliiy  tennis  idl  diiy  lonu' ; 
But  she  I'ouldn't  help  her  niolhei", 

■('iiuse  she  wasn't  very  Hlron^-. 


i;N(ii,isii   AS  sin;  is  wnori; 


"  The  leiiclier.  u  lesson  Ik?  timylit. 
'I'hc  preacher  a  sermon  Ik;  prau^^hl  ; 

The  stealer  he  slole  ; 

Theiiealer  hehoh- 
And  I  he  screeeher  he  aw  lull  V  serauuhl. 


V     -if 


EN(iI,ISII    AS    SlIK    IS    WROTE. 


4-» 


sn 


The  long  winded  speaker  lie  spoke  ; 
Tlie  post  ollice  seeker  lie  soke  ; 

The  niniier  he  ran  ; 

The  (hiiiiier  lie  dan  ; 
And  the  shrieker,  he  horridly  shroke. 

The  tlyer  to  Canada  Hew  ; 
The  buyer,  on  credit  he  bew; 

The  doer,  he  did, 

The  s'ler,  Ik  sid; 
Ami  the  liar  (a  lishcrnian,)  lew. 

The  writer,  this  nonsense  he  wrote; 
The  tighter,  an  editor  fote; 

The  swininier,  he  swam; 

The  skimmer,  lu;  skam; 
And  the  bit(!r,  was  liun,ti-ry  and  bote. 


.■'^ 


92 


THE    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


■mi 


If 
1 

*. 

I 


(TIAPTER  Vr. 

The  oddities  and  ciiriositios  of  our  race  crowd 
upon  us,  and  nioct  us  in  cvorv  turn  of  life  ;  and  in  all 
the  bvc-i)atlis  where  mortals  tread.  One  would  su})|)ose 
that  so  serious  a  suhjeet  as  death,  and  the  urave  would 
awaken  reverence  of  thought  and  seriousness  of  ex- 
])ression;  and  that  soher,  sensible  woi'ds  only,  would 
find  their  way  into  our  cemeteries,  hut  such  i>  not  the 
case.  The  epitaphs  written,  many  of  them,  are  not 
only  not  serious,  they  are  not  even  decorous,  th(>v  arc; 
the  most  iirotes<|ue.  nonsensical,  and  ahsui'd,  that  one 
can  imai:ine.  Many  of  them  are  comic,  sarcastic  and 
side  splittinu',  violatin;,^  all  tlu'  rules  of  lauiiuau'c.  'I'lu; 
inscriptions  upon  the  older  stones ar(>  ra|)idly  Itecominu' 
illeii'ihle.  and  will  soon  have  disappeare(l  I'orever.  The 
readei-  must  not  he  surprised  to  find  limpinii'  verse, 
and  odd  expri'ssion,  for  in  many  cases  everythinu'  was 
sacrilici'd  in  order  to  make  sonu'thiuu'  iike  rhyme.  Tt) 
arrange  and  classify  them  would  destroy  my  desiiiu  in 
;i:ivin.ii'  them  to  the  reader.  I  insert  them  as  tlu^y  c(»me 
to  hand.      Most  of  them  are  odd  enough. 

In  a  town  in  Connecticut  there  lies  luiried  a  man 
who  had  a  larui'  wen  on  the  to|>  <»f  his   head, 
thus  conunemorated  : 

"  Our  i'Mtlier  lies  licneiUli  tlie  sod 

His  spirit's  ti'oiic  unto  Ills  (Jod; 
We  never  more  sliiill  hear  his  trciid, 

Nor  sec  the  wen  upon  his  head,"   , 


II 


e    IS 


^    "^ 


ODD    Kl'ITAPirs. 


<)3 


iiiiin 
Ic   is 


The  foUowin^^  is  siiid  to  ho  on  a  gntvci^toiie  near 
London,  Enjrland  : 

Poor  Marthii  Sliicll  has  gone  away, 

Ilcr  would  if  she  could,  but  hor  couldn't  stay; 

Her  had  2  bad  legs  and  a  baddish  cough, 
It  was  her  two  bad  legs  that  carried  her  oil'. 

On    a    tombstone    in    Worcester,  Knirljind,  is  this 
sin^nhir  inscription : 

"  Mammy  and  I  logetlier  lived 

Just  two  years  and  a  lialf  ; 
She  went  first — 1  followed  next, 

Tlic  cow  Ix'l'ore  tlie  calf." 

This  conies  from  ()hio  :— 

"  Under  tills  sod, 

And  under  tliese  tn.'cs 
Lieth  tli(!  l)od- 

y  of  Solomon  Pease, 
He's  not  in  this  hole, 

lint  otdy  his  jxid  ; 
He  siieJled  out  his  soul, 

And  went  up  lo  liis  Ood.  " 

These  lin(>s,  (»n  a  tonil)stom'  at  ('liild'.vall,    Ku<j:- 
\i\\u\,  ai'e  W(dl  l\nown. 

"  Here  lies  me  and  my  three  daugiiters 
Hrought  iiere  by  using  stiidlit/.  waters; 

H"  we  iiad  stuck  to  Kpsoin  salts. 

We  woiddn't  iiave  been  in  tiiese  here  vaidts." 

llcro  is  how  iheydotliis  sort  of  tiling' in  (Jennany: 

Uy  the  thrust  of  an  ox's  iiorii 

Came  I  into  heaven's  bourn; 

All  so  (puekly  did  I  die, 

AVif(!  tiud  children  leave  must  I; 

Hut  in  eternity  rest  I  now, 

All  through  theo,  thou  wild  lieast,  thou! 


V 


i'r 


,|H  I. 


I   «><||| 


I. 


It  J 


1* 


04 


THE    ODD    MAX    AND    HIS    ODDITIi:!^. 


A  good  many  men  discovei'  that  they  have  been 
henj)eeke(l  after  their  wives  are  dead,  and  bohlly  state 
the  t'aet — or  tlieir  epitaph  makers  do  it  for  them — 
possibly  for  the  diseoiiragement  of  living  shrews,  1 
have  found  a  number  direeted  against  women  : 

"  Hero  lies  the  iniin  Richard, 

And  3Iiiry  his  wife  ; 
Their  surname  was  Pritchard, 

Tiiey  lived  without  strife: 
And  tlie  reason  was  phun — 

'i'luiv  ahouuded  in  riclies, 
Tlicy  iiad  no  care  nor  pain, 

And  the  wife  wore  the  birecJos." 

AN    ODD    Sl'KCIMKX. 

"  Ilcnr  lies  wil'e  second  of  old  \Vini>'  lioiicr-., 
She's  safe  from  care  and  1  from  Itothers  I 
If  death  had  known  thee  as  well  as  I, 
lie  ne'er  had  stopped,  hut  passed  t !..•(■  l»y. 
I  wish  him  joy,  hut  mueh  I  fear, 
Me'll  rue  tlie  day  lie  e;inie  thee  near." 

A  reli(ve<l  and  joylHl  hnshand  caused  this  iuscrip- 

tioi)    to    he    [daeed    on    llu'  headstone   of   Ids  wile      in 

Kilmury  churchyard: 

This  stone  was  raised  l)y  Sarah's  lord. 
Not  Saiali's  virtues  to  record, — 
For  they're  W(  II  known  to  all  tin;  town, 
Hut.  it  was  raised  to  keep  her  down. 

A  sea  captain  of  Sag-lljirhor,  liong  Ishiiul.  paiuied 
a  moral  upon  llu'  ton.hsloiie  (»f  his  third  wife  : 

"  Meliold  ye  livinjf  mortals  j)assin,u'  iiy, 
llow  thick  the  partners  of  one  hush.and  lie, 
Vast  and  unsearchahle  the  w.aysof  (}od  : 
,Iusl,  i»ut  sev(^re  his  chasteninu,' rod." 


ODD    KI'ITAI'IIS.  95 

A    CLOCK-MAKKItS    KPITAl'Il. 
Here  lios  a  iimn  who  all  Iiis  mortal  life. 
PmsI  ni(!ii(lli)<;'  clocks,  but  coiildiia  niciul  iiis  wire; 
Tlic  laniiii  of  his  bell  was  ne'er  so  shrill, 
As  was  her  tongue,  aye  chunking  like  a  mill. 
IJut  now  he's  gone — oil,  whither  naiie  could  tell— 
I  hope  beyond  the  soun  o'  Mary's  l»ell. 

One  I{(»l)('rt  Kciiii)  l'ljU'<'<l  lliese  liiR-s  on  the  toiuh- 
stoiic  (»t'  Iiis  (leccasiMl  wife. 

She  once  was  mine, 
Mut  now,  ()  Lord. 
1  iier  l(t  thee  resiun. 
I  remain  your  ohedieiit,  humble  s(>rvant. 

lUniKKi  Ke.mi', 
In  memory  of  ;i  m;in  and  his  wii'(\ 

••  lie  lirst  departed  -she  a  little  tried 

'i'o  live  without  liim-^liked  it  not,  and  died." 

A  ranious  cpitiipli  in   Pcwsey  clinrcii,  l^imland: 

Here  lies  the  body 

of 

i,ady  O'liOoiiey. 

(Jreat  niece  of  Murke.  commoniy  called  sublime. 

She  was 

IMand,  jiassionate  and  deeply  religious. 

Also  she  paiiite(|  in  w, iter  colors. 

and  sent  several  pictures 

To  the  <'\hibition.      She  was  lirst  cousin 

to  Lady  .loiies. 
And  of  such  is  the   Kingdom  of  Heaven. 

Ilornc  was  nnroituniilc  with  his  wives,  with  the 
0X('i'|)tion  of  the  (Uic  noted. 

'I\>  the  memory  ol'  u\y  Iniu'  wives,  who  all  died  in 
the  sj)iiee  of  ten  yciirs,  hut  more  /initrkln'  to  tiie  lust, 
Sally  Ilorne,  who  left  me  jind  I'oiir  deiir  children  ;  she 


i 


96 


THE    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


\va!<  a  good,  siober,  and  cloan  soul.     ^lay  I  soon  go  to 
hor.     A.  I).  1732. 

"  Dear  wives,  if  you  and  I  shall  go  to  heaveu, 
Tlic  Lord  be  blest,  for  then,  we  shall  be  oven." 

W.  J.  IIOUNE. 

Tiie  piety  of  the  next  is  doubtful  : 

"lie  lived  and  died  a  true  Christian, 

lie  loved  his  friends  and  hated  his  enemies." 

The  ('p)tisni  of  the  ue.\t  is  alai'iuini;.  This  stone 
nuiy  still  be  seen  at  Saragossa,  Spain. 

"Here  lies  .John  (Juebeeca,  precentor  to  my  Lord  the 
King,  when  he  is  admitted  to  the  choir  of  angels,  whose  so- 
ciety he  will  embellish;  and  where  lie  will  distinguish  himself 
by  his  powers  of  song.  God  shall  say  to  the  angels  ;  cease  ye 
calves  I  and  let  me  hear. John  Quebeeca,  preicntor  to  my  Lord, 
the  King." 

One  would  hardly  expect  advertiseinnts  on  tomb- 
stones, but  they  are  occasionally  to  be  met  with.  Here 
is  an  example  from  a  cemetery. 

Here  lies  Fournier  (Pierre  Victor,) 

Inventor  of  everlasting  lamps, 

"Which  burn  only  one  ceiUimcj's  worth  of  oil  an  hoiu". 

He  was  a  good  father,  sou  and  husband. 

His  inconsolable  widow 

Continues  his  bu.siness  at  No.  10  Ruenuxtrois; 

(roods  sent  to  all  parts  of  tiie  city. 

N.  13. — Don't  mistake  the  opposite  shop  for  this. 

S.  V.  W  W.  I.  P. 

A    COMMON     lOUUOK. 

Here  lies  un  old  wonian  who  always  was  tired  ; 
For  she  lived  in  a  ho\ise  where  no  help  was  hired  ; 
Her  last  words  on  earth  were:     Dear  friends,  I  am  going 
Where  no  washing's  done,  no  churning,  no  sewing; 
Where  all  things  will  be  just  exact  to  my  wishes: 


.1       .".•cff-' 


<)i)i)  i:i'i  lAi'iis. 


i>7 


For  whci-c  Ihcy  doift  diiic  there's  no  wasliiii-'  ^^  disli.'s, 

I'll  lie  wlicre  loiul  aiitliciiis  forever  are  riimini;-, 

Hut  haviiin-  no  voice,  I'll  he  riM  ol  the  sinn-inu-. 

Don't  mourn  lor  me  now.  and  don't  inom'n  for  me  never, 

I'm  Li'oinii'  to  do  notiiin^-  for  evei-  and  ever  !  .'  I 

AN     I;yi;     I'd    111  siNliss. 

"  IJenealii  liiis  stone  in  hopes  of  Sion, 
There  :ies  tin   landlord  of  the  lion. 
IJesin'ned  nnto  ihe  lleaxcnly  will 
Hi'  son  keeps  on  the  luisiness  sii|l  " 
Maine,  T.  S. 

AN     i:vi;     lO    MA  riM.MoNY. 

"  Sacred  lo  the  memory  of  .lames  II.  I{ ni    who  died 

Aiinust  H;ih,  ISDI).  Hi:,  widow  monrns  a.  one  wiio  can  be 
comforted,  au'ed  L'l.  and  po>scs»,ino-  ,.\|.i'y  (pialilicalion  for  a 
i:(iod   wife,      I,i\cs  a! sii'ei't." 

IN   (•(iNNi;(  rici'i'. 

II<'re  lies  iwii  twins,  .-ill  side  li\  side. 
Of  the  smallpox  lioth  of  them  dieil.  " 

IN     A    <'lll   i;<  11^   \i;|»    IN     n:NNs^  |,\ANIA. 

'■  l']li/.a,  sorrcjw  ini^-.  ivars  this  mai'Me  slab, 
To  her  deal' ,Io|;n.  who  died  of  eatiiii;i'rabb." 

IN   (  \i'i;   \\\\. 

.Mary  .lane. 
AuimI  1  1   yrs,  s  nio. 
"She  w.asiioi  small,  --lie   was  not  fair. 
I '.lit  hearts  w  itii  L'-rief  bu'  her  are  swell  in', 
.\nd  empty  stnnds  her  little  chair,— 
She  died  of  ('at  in'  walermclon." 

Tlic  late  Inisiiioss  and  iircsoiil  w  licicahoiifs  of  a 
(Icct'ascd  M';i-ca|>t;iiii  arc  siiimiicd  up  Icrsidv  on  a  I>lo(d< 
I-lainl  li('ii(l.<t()ii('. 

"  lie's  done  a  calchiiiiv  cod 
And  y'oiR'  to  meet  his  God." 


% 


k       '/» 


,,i.#ti!! 


i)s 


Tin;    ()1>1)    MAN    AND    fllS    nl)l)rill>. 


IK*''  ' 

i 


.-f 


IN   iMTi-.-rii:L!».   >iA^-sA(  iirsr.TTs. 

"  Wlicii  you  my  rriciids  arc  passiim-  Ity, 
And  this  inroniis  you  wIktc  I  lie. 
Hi'MicMiIxT  you  ere  louu'  inusi  lia\  r 
lake  inc.  a  mansion  in  the  lii'avc' 

NICIKM.AS    Ni:UI(>N. 

"  Here  lies,  alas,  niore's  tiic  pity 

All  thai  icinaiiis  of  Nicholas  Xewcily." 

I'octs  ol'tcii  claini   s|»('ci:il    license.     TITls  is  i'Xtr;i, 
;ii.-n  llie  iie.\l   oile. 

llloMAS    \\()itl)lli;N. 

Here  lies  the  remains  ot  Thomas  \\  ooilhcn. 

'I'hc  most  amiaiilc  of  husliands,  and  excellent  of  men. 

!Ii-   name   is    Woodcock.    liUi    il    would    Hot  COMIC   ill 
rllVlUC.        ///.-■    II  idntv. 


Sonic  iiio-t  iiitd'cslint:'  citilnplis  ni'c   in  piosc.  \\k'\\' 


IS  one 


llAri'l.i;    (»l'    Mlll.nll. 


".lolin    1).    I- was  l)orn    March  •Jtllh,   1S'29.    in    West 

Dresilr'ii,  New    ^'ork.  where  the  wicked  (case  from  trouhliiiii-, 
and  I  lie  w  eary  arc  at  rest." 

sAi:  \i'()(i.\. 

Kmma.    danuhter  of and  wife  of  'I'heodorc died 

]S(i,s,   leavinij,'  live  children.  —  .Man  led  too  yoimii,  a.n'aiiisl  her 
I'alher's  will.      Siiiijh'  women  lake  warning;'. 


i;.\si'  •|'i:nni:ssi;i;. 

Siie  ]i\('d  a  life  of  virtue  and  died  of  cholera  inorlms, 
caused  by  eatinti,'  i^rccii  fruit,  in  the  hope  of  a  lilesscd  iinmoi- 
Jalilv  at  lilt'  iin'c  of  ','1  vcars.   Keader.  iio  and  dolhoii  likewise. 


I- 


<)i)i>   i;i'i'i'.\i'iis. 


<i< 


)!) 


I\     (AI.IIOliMA. 

They   nMiiiiiciimralc   iliiTcrciiily  in    ( 'nlifoniia.   n.s 
witness  the  lullowiii'j  in  Sau  DicMd. 

"  Tliis  yciv  is  sicriMJ  tn  llic  Miciiinry  uf  Win.  II.  .skarkaiMi 
wilt)  came  to  liis  dcalli  l»y  licjn  shot  hy  (nit's  revolver,  (!tie  of 
llie  old  kiiiil,  hra-s  inoiiiiieil,  niid  of  siieji  is  the  kindoiu  of 
llCMVeii." 

It    \va>  a  uanlrnei'.    I    jinaLiiiie.  who    deplored    bis 
'•liild  in  tins  lasliioii. 

■•  ( »ni'  little  ,I:ieoh 

li;i-^  h('\\\  |;d;eii  ;i\v;i_\    fi'oni  this  earthly  L;;n'(lei! 

'io  1(1  DO  in 

111  a  siipei'ior  ilower  [lot 

alioxc. 

()iily  a  (iennan  eoiild  lia\-e  written  this: 

My  v.ife  Sii^aii  is  orad.  Il'slicliad  life  until  iie\l  i'^aday 
>lii''d  lii'eii  dead  slinst  tuoweeks.  As  a  t  ree  falls  so  it  iiiusr 
stand.      A 11  ;liiiiL!s  is  pos:dlile  mil  (iod. 

\  el'y   eoiiiiiidll.   often    found. 

"  .\llliit  ioMs  >o!'c  I  Ioiil;-  lia\'e  l)or<', 

I'll vsieiaiis  \\(a-e  ill  \aiii. 
Till  (iod  did   plea>e  to  ;:ive  ease 

And  take  aw  a  )■  my  pain." 

The  i\\(i  lollowini:'  afe  odd  enoULih. 

"1  was  well  ; 

Wauled   Io  he  lietter  ; 

'Took  ]ilivsie, 

And  here  I  am.'' 

In  \\'iiill)\-  old  eiini'ehyaid  tliis  was  Found. 

"  'riie  pain  was  not  eon  lined  to  one  part, 

Hut  I  hroiiu'li  his  hody  spreail; 
He  siillered  iii'eatly  at  his  heart 

And  water  in  his  lu'ad." 


-1*    ' 


tl  t 
"i  > 

1 
i 


m  > 


100 


rm:  odd  man  and  his  odditiks. 


Iv(>l)(,'rt  IviH'Vc,  Uii)[)k'.  Worcs'storshiiv,  was  soveii 
t'et't  ill  K'liii'tli. 

As  vrs  |»;iss  hv  bcliold  mv  Iciiu'tli. 
l)Ul  never  uiory  in  yc)\ii'  streniiili. 

A    (MItl,    (>!•'    I'lI-rilDN    YI'.AltS. 

Ill  ^Fiilvei'ii  cluircliyard  a  '/\y\  nl'  1.")  years  is  iiijule 
to  say: 

■■  I   am  a  rose  enipt  in  my  Itiul; 
CfOil  eul  me  (Inwii  as  lie  saw    lit. 
Ami  placed  inc  in  a  Ited  of  (  l;iy 
L'utilllie  lesun-eetion  day." 


m 


A    FAKMi;i!s    r.l'IIAIMI. 

"With  sweat  and  tnil  I  ion"-  liavr  tilled  the  n'roiuid. 
iJnt  in  it  now  a  resliny  place  have  found, 
TiirouLiii  our  Redeemer,  .lesus  Chrisl  1  trust, 
That  I,  like  i)ui'est  wheat,  shall  spring'  from  dust. 
And  share  !lie  invlul  harvest  with  the   just." 


1' 


'*T  1 


IP 
11' 


II 


MAKY    SIANIloPi:. 

*'Slie  was  -Itut  words  are  wantinu'  to  say  what, 
'I'hink  what  a  uil'e  should  Ite — and  she  was  that." 

IN   11  i.ioiMt  Nt;AU  ^dKK,  i;ni.i,ani». 

"  Farewell,  vain  world.  I  have  had  ei\oui:li  of  tiiee, 
Ami  now  1  car(,'  not  what  tlion  thiid\e^t  of  me  ; 
'i'hy  smile,    I  court  not,  nor.  thy  frowns  I  fear, 
IJencath  this  stone  my  head  lii's  (juiet  here." 

Ill    Liitoii  eenictrry  U|m)ii    Kehceea  XdrtiTs  stoiic 

"  W'ouldst  thou  know  her  character'.' 
Follow  her  footstei)s  to  heaven, 
And  the  ani!.-els  will  tell  thee." 


% 


:  i 


oDit  i;rn.\i'iis. 


101 


.loiiN   s.Mrrir. 

Ill  inciiKiry  o!'  .I.ilm  Sniilli 
who  iiicl  a  w  icrlciit  death, 
near  this  spot 
is  hiiii(hT(l  and  40  too. 
He  was  sliot    !>y  liis  own    pisirll  ;  it   was  not  one  of  tlie  new- 
kind  ;   luit  an  old -fashioned  lira-s  hai'i'eil  and  of  suelt  is 
the  Kinadoin  nf  Heaven. 

The  (dlorl.-  to  (•()iiij>re-.s  within  ;i  sinall  s))acc.  :iii<l 
tlui.s  siive  '.'Xpensc.  lends  ol'ten  to  ciirioiis  fesult:?.  ;i.s 
witiie.-s  ihe  t'ollowinij'.  iVoiii  a  chtiiclivai'*!  in  (lliistoii- 
'>in'L:.  ( 'mill. 

'■  Here  lies  one  wlio's 

l-ite's  tlir.  ads  eui  a>niiih'r 
She  w  as  slniek  dead 

Jly  a  ehi|'  of  thiiii(ler.'" 

ANiiriil.!;. 

•'  Here  lies  the  liody  of  Jane  Gray 
The  nianner  of  her  death  is  thus 
Siie  was  dni\  over  liy  a  Inis^.." 

The  coiit'iision  (d  seiiteiiccs  soiiieiinu's  K'uils  to 
fiirioiis  niistakc-  as  tlic  iolhtwini:' tVoin  a  sk'eiiinu' pliici; 
near  ( 'iiiciiiiiat i.  <  >. 

■■  Here  lies 

\\  ho  eaine  to  this  city  and  died, 
For  the  lienelit  of  his  healtii." 

In  KiliiiariKK'k.  Ayi'sliirc. 

"  He  died  uiieoiniijainiim',  in 
No  pain  witiiout  inedieal  aid." 

Here  follows  a  .s|ii'i'liiirii  ol'  tlu-  ))hiii(U'i'iiiii'  class. 

'•  Here  lies  the  bodies  of  two  sistei's  dear  : 
One's  Inirit'd  in  Iivlaiid;  the  other  lies  here,'' 


* 


l«l*tl,ll 


!mi>'"  '■ 


■";i  i 

f 

■rj.. 


102  tin:  odu  max   and   his  odditiks. 

It  is  M  t:;ill;uit  J'^ciichinaii  wlio  thus  ai)()str()|)ln/('s 
tlu'  (K'rmict  piirtiu'r  of  his  joys  ami  cares. 

■■('iiict.  ma  iVmine,  oli  iiu'cllc  est  hica  ! 
Tiiur  soil  rcpiis.  ct  pour  Ic  niicn.'' 

Which;  has  its  couiilci'[)art  in  an  I^iiLilish  cluirch- 
yaid. 

■'  llcr<'  lies  my  poor  wife  .him — licrc  Icl  her  lie  1 
She  limls  ivsl  at  lasi.  au.l  --o  ilo  I." 

The    uiiiiiari'icd  I'aii'  have   I'eceiveil    Li'eiilh'r  tn^at- 

iiieiit .  though  a  talkat  i  ve  -jiiiister  is  awarch'il  tiie.-e  liiiev: 

"  I'lidci'  this  stone  tlie  Ixidy  lies  of  Araliella  ^'oll^^^ 

Wlio  tin  the  I wenly  I'ourth  of  May  li(';.'an  to  hold  her  loni^'u.'." 

'Inhere  i>  a  sporting;'  ihix'oi'  ahoiit  the  i'olhiwiii^ 
rcrei'etice  to  Ste|iiieii   Ivilliilthtoil .  (|iiite  iiiiiijilc, 

■■  ill'  lived  to  111.'),  lii'arly  and  sironu', 

100  to  .")  you  don't    live  a^  loli;^'." 

A  re(|iie>t  t'oi'  luii'ial  in  a  cei'taiii  sp,,!  is  not  iiii- 
('o:nnion,  tllollLiIl  seMont  e\|U'e>sed  with  llie  luiixcte  of 
the  I'oUow  iiiL:'  : 

"  I'udcr  this  yew  ti'ce,  'mried  he  would  l»c, 
I'ecause  his  latlier  lie,  planted  ihi--  vi  w  tree." 

The  nii'inoi'y   of   (h'pai'leil   nialrou>    i>   worth    |)i*e- 

ser\iii2'. 

'■  Some  have  children,  sume  liasc  none  ; 
Ilel'e  lies  t  he  lliot  jier  ol  t  u  cnly  one." 

The  I'oUowiiii:  wamiiiii  and  ad\  isor\  liue>  ai'c  on 
the  toniltstone  id'  a  i|na(d<  (hu-ior.  wlio  was  alive  to- 
l)usini'ss  even  if  he  was  ih'ad  : 

"  I  was  a  ipiark,  ard  there  are  men  w  ho  say 
Thai  ill  my  time  I  physiek'd  lives  away  ; 
And  that  at  leimtli  I  Ity  myself  was  slain 
Hy  my  ow  n  druiis  ta'eii  to  reliexe  my  pain. 


\       r 


i.,ii 


OKI)    Kl'ITAIMlS 


lOH 


'I'lic  irinh  i,,  hciiiL!'  troulili'd  wiili  a  cougli, 
I  like  a  UhA  coiisultcil  1)1'.  (iouu'li:- 
Will)  i»liysick'(l  me  to  dcatli.  at  liis  own  w  ill, 
Iiccausc  lie's  licensed  hy  the  State  to  kill; 
Had  1  l)ut  wisely  taken  my  own  physic 
I  iievci-  should  have  died  of  cold  anil  'tisick. 
So  all  l)e  warned  and  w  hen  you  catch  a  cold 
(io  to  niy  son,  l)y  w  honi  my  medicine's  sold." 
Se|iiil(dil';il    i'(d'('r<Mi('('s  to    tlie    roriilel'    plli'snit.-    id' 
tlic  ilcpai'li'ij  liavc  heeii  very  ('0111111011.     L;iw\cr,-  whose 
ways   arc  dark    have   railed  for   la•ll^^l^(^  ami    dociors 
wlio-e    iti'idi'ssioiiai  iiiiuisliat  ions  liave  tilleil  llie  iiall' of 
iMir   cliiireliyarMs.  have  foi'miMJ  ihe    priiici|»al   >iil»ie('ts. 
l']\er|iiioii    i-    maijc   in    Favor    of  a   h'^^al   oriiaiii;'iil    to 
oil  '    .Mr.    SiraiiL;'!'.  Init    at    the  eNpetise    of    his    hrotiier 
praeliiioiirf-: 

"  1  IiTc  lies  an  lionesi  law  yei'— SI  raiiii'e'  " 
The  |)ro|io>e(l  epilajili  to  the  emiiieiil  eook.   Me.xis 

Soyer : 

■■  I'eace  to  liis  hashes," 

i<   Well  known.  le>s   known    luit  nmie  ailuiiraMe  is 

thai  n|ion  a  >h'e''a.-eil  ijyer: 

"  I  liTe  lies  ;i  mail  w  ho  dyed  of  wool  a  ureat   store, 
Hue  day  he  died  himself,  and  d\  ed  no  more," 

When  with  ehai'aeterisi  ie  eynieisin   Uynni  ilerideil 

llic  ei'eijiility  o!'  hini  who  wonhl  ■•  Itelirve  a  woman,  or 

an  epitaph,""  he  may  have  hail  in    ni'ml    IJeii   -lonson's 

raiiions  line-  on  the  ('oiiiitess  of  I'emlu'oki-  : 

"  riidei'iiealh  this  sal>le  heal'se 
Lies  the  suhject  of  all  vei'se, 
Sydney's  sister — I'einliroke's  mother  ! 
Death  ere  ihou  has!  slain  another  ! 
Fair  and  learned,  and  yooil  as  she 
'rime  >liall  throw  a  dart  at  thee." 


.-V 


104 


Tin:    (»I>1)    MAN     AN1>    Ills    ODDITIKS. 


H„.'tl't 


5'"  i 

til 

H  ' 

m  i 


Could  the  incnuirv  of  Shnksnciin'  dcmtuid  loftier 
strains?  ("oinpai'i"  the  al)ov('  with  tlu' (jiiaintiicss  and 
simidicity  of  these  lines  : 

'■  nicst  lie  tlie  Mian  wlio  spaics  llicsc  slones, 
Ami  curs't  Ite  he  wlio  moves  my  Itoiies  " 

Stiiet  adhereneeto  mere  uialter-of-faet  has  >eareely 
heeii  eon.vidci'ed  the  special  attriUute  of  an  epitaph. 
The  three  followinLi'  are  well  ant lient ieate<l  examples 
of  unvari*iishe(l  detail  : 

■■  Sarah  Yoi'ke  did  ihis  lilV  resign. 

Sixteen  hmwh'ed  and  sevenlynine."     Norwich. 

Another  : 

••  Ili'rc  lies  the  l)ody  o[  William  Mix. 

One  thousand  seven  Inmdrcd  ;u!d  si\iy-si\." 

"  llta'c  lies  tlie  holly  of  honesi     Tom   I'llU'e, 
^^■  ho  died  in  the  thirty  third  ye,i I  of  his  ;il;c." 

In  the  sanu'  connection  may  he  instanced  the  in- 
scription on  the  toudi  id'  the  innd<ecper  hnrieil  opposite 
his  house: 

■'  ilcic  lies  'I'iMnmy  Diiy, 
l\cmo\('d   from  o\cr  (he  w.'iy.  " 

Latin  was  loni:  considered  the  only  appropriate 
laiiii'nau'i'  for  an  epita|»h.  It  is  \\('IM\nown  that  Dr. 
.Iidiiison  rid'used  ••  to  disLii'ace  the  walls  of  Westminster 
.\hhcy.""  with  an  l-'aiii'lish  iirscriptioii  to  the  memory  id' 
()li\('r  (Jiddsnnth,  This  is  the  more  to  lie  deplored 
since  the  doctor  could  ami  did  wi'itc  l''ni:lish  e|)ilaplis 
(d'  nmrit  -  witness  ihat  upon  Phillips  the  musician  : 

"Sleep  midis|urli;'d  williia  Ihis  pcaeeful  shi'lae, 
Till  an;;cls  wake  thee  w  ith  a  note  like  Ihine." 


^1- 


^'^  i   '1  'C 


>i»i)   i:iM'i.\i>i[>. 


10.-) 


L(>r<l  Aslihiii'iiliaiii  \v;i>:ic(Misi(miC(l  t()(|U(>tc  rlic  f<»!- 
lowiiiH'  cpiiapli  a.-  a  iMai'fct  cx.'D.pIilicaiiuii  of  poctiv. 
|)icly  and  |inlii(ii(>>  : 

\f  who  stand  arouml  niv  uivivc, 
And  sa\-  his  litV  is  Li'onr. 
Yon  in'c  niist;ikcn — itiirdon  me  — 
.M  \   ni'c  is  hni  iicuuii." 

I)ivvity.  (lie  soul  i^\  wii.  Iia<  hvai  little  coii-iihaiMi 
111  llii.-  (das-  of  col  II I  Million.  llrii  Jon-oii's  pi'odiiciioiis 
arc  except  !oii<.  I  luaiiciiiliei'  three  \-cai's  aL'i>  cop\  iiiM' 
t  lire(-  via'v  lii'iid'  one-.  (  )uc  on  the  tonih-tmir  ol'  |\  nielli 
I  lie  piiltli-lier.  it  ica(l>  : 

"  (iood  K'la'uhi  ■■ 

Aiioijior  (Mpially  ')riei'  i-  to  tin  nieinoi'v  ol'  Dr. 
I'^iiller.   it  reads  : 


••  Fnller's  rarlh. 


I)i'.   \\'alkei'   wi'ote    a  liook    on    I'aiulisli    panicles. 
1 1  i>  epitaph  read-  : 

'■  1  !crc  Hcs  \\Mlkci''s  i);irticl('s." 

I   piijl   the  |o|iil»-tolie  of    liMl'haLje.   llic   acloi',   there 
is  an  epitaph  (d';jreal   lir(\ity.  a  simple  st!iL;(' ilirecl  ion  ; 

"  I-Ail   llui'haii'e." 

I>r.   Donne    wrote    a    hcantifnl    in-cription    as   an 
I'pilaph   foi  a  deceased  inlaiil  : 

"  Mrc  Niii  <iinld  liliuiil.  or  sori'ow  fade, 

Deal  h  eanie  w  ilh  frieiiilly  care  ; 
The  opciiiiiL;'  liiid  lo  iiea\-eii  coiiNcved, 

And  hade  it  Idossoai  there." 

The  tcniehiiiii'  si d »_)»'(' I  ol'  an  iiil'anl's  niorlalily  linds 

litliiii!' c\pressi(»ii  in  the  two  liiu's  rollowiiiii': 

"  .Inst  with  he!'  lips  the  cup  of  life  she  pressed. 
F(aiiid  tile  lasle  liitter— and  declined  the  rest." 


b- 


Bi 


IVK)  Tin;    ODD    MAN    AND    Ills   oDDlVlKS. 

Winclu'stcr  ('atlu'driil,  l-").")!  : 

"  Bciic;illi  tliis  stone  lies  slnit  up  in  llic  dark, 
A  t'clldw  and  a  pi'icst  ol'  the  name  of  Joliii  ("lark; 
Willi  cai'Udy  roscwatcr  did  he  (incc  dcliiilit  yi'. 
I>ul  now  li(  deals  in  heavenly  aijiia  vilae." 

Oil    .loliii    Potter,    from    a    MSS.    in    the   liritish 

!\[n>ei;iii  : 

Alack,  and  well-a-day I 

i'otler  himself  nas  turned  to  clay." 

( )ii  a  eliiiui-<lealer's  lonih: 

■'  IJeiK  atli  this  slouv'  lies  Catharine  (}rey, 

(  liained  to  a  tonil)  ol'  lifeless  clay: 

iJy  earlii  and  clay  she  <j:i>\  her  |Mlf. 

And  n<i\v  she's  luriie<l  to  elay  herself.  * 

IJuI   what  avails  ;i  Hood  of  teal's  ? 

Who  knows  lull  in  a  course  of  years. 

Ill  some  tiill  pitcher  or  brown  |)an.  ' 

She  in  her  shoj    may  lie  a'liiii  '.'"' 

<  )ii  a  carrier: 

".Iiihii  .\dains  lies  iicrc.  nf  the  pirish  i^\'  S.iiiihwcll, 
A  carrier  wlio  carried  his  can  to  his  munlh  well; 
lie  cairicd  sii  much  ;ind  lie  e;n'l'ie(|  so  fast 
lie  could  carry  no  more,  and  was  carried  ai  l.ist. 
For  liipior  he  drank,  lieinn'  too  much  fur  duc, 
lie  cdiild  not  carry  olV.  and  is  now  carri mi." 

<  )li  eliiidreli  : 

■'  III  chililliood's  morniiuj,'  land,  serene. 
She  walki'il  lielween  us  two  like  love, 

.\iid  in  a  rohe  of  lii;ht.  unseen. 
Her  Itetter  aiiu'el  walked  ahoNc, 

l»nl  life's  hiii'liway  liroke  dim  and  wild; 
Then,  'est  those  starry  i;arineiits  trail. 
Heart  l.reak,  hope  die,  or  coiirau'c  fail, 

'I'hi-  aiiL-'el's  arms  caiiuht  up  the  child." 


T' 


<>i)i)   i:iiTAi'Hs. 


lo: 


The  Ifcv.  ,I(.liii  T.  Viii,^  <;i\v  tl,,.  iullowiiio.  ..pitMph 
ill  an  old  Hiioli.^l,  (.liiiich-yanl.  over  the  hndy  ..f  Ahra- 
Iiaiii  Peck: 

Wove  lies  a  Peck,  wliicli  some  men  say 
Was  lirsi  of  all  a  Wvk  ol'  day, 
Till  wroiiiilii  hy  natiiiv  while  alVesh, 
liceaiiic  a  eiii-idUs  I'eek  of   llesli. 
Full  lil'ly  years  I'e.-k  IVJt  life's  luihliles. 
'I'ill  lieath  relieved  a    ['eelv  oj'   li'(,uhles; 
Ami  so  ile  died,  ;is  all   WVU  liillst. 
All-!  llel-e  he  lies,  a   1 'i  ck  of  dust." 

'V\\('  siate-iiiaii  hiin^cir  is  said  to  liavc  .liscovcivd 
il  and  n-ndi'i.  d  il  inio  I.;niii  licxanicter.  A  uond 
(■.\ani|dc  ^\\'  \W\<  kind  id'  anto-iuorloin  liieralurc  i-  the 
cpilaph  written  dni'lii-'  (lie  lil'etinic  ,,r  liciijandn 
I)"I.-<ra('li---nccd  it  ie,-aiil  l>y  a  liberal  pen: 

'■  'riiel'  lies  Lord   Ifcaeoiislield; 
I  It  \\  as  a  u  ay  he  had)." 

I'rcsencr  of  iidnd  has  always  heen  held  in  jnst 
cstiniatinii.  alihon-ii  it  ha-  it 'en  slirewdK  i\'niarkc.l 
that  in  nionients  id'  peril  aliMiice  ^\\  IkkIv  is  cNcn  more 
d''siialile.  Il  is  eertainl\- ;di-enee  (d'  l»od\-  which  rornii» 
the  chitd'  characteri-l  ic  of  ihe  three  I'ollowinL;': 

lli'l'e  liev  the  I'eiuains  of  'l'hoili;is  Nieols, 

W  ho  died  ill  IMiilailelphia,  175:^     Had  he 
Used  he  would  ha\i'  lieiai   liiiried  iiere." 

"  lli'i'e  lii's  Ihe  Mody  of  .loiialhau  (Jroiind, 
Who  was  lost  al  sea  and  iie\cr  found  '" 

•  Here  lies  Ihe  body  of  John  Mldivd  — 
Al   least   he  will  he  here  W  hell  he's  dead; 
Mut  ill  this  lime  he  is  alive. 
Folirteelllh  of   Au,mist,   ,Si.\|\  .|i\e," 


i 


i- 


U'tif 


m 


1()<S 


of 


Tin;    ODD    .AIAX    ANI>    JUS    ODDITIKS. 


TIktc  was  no  intentional  (lisrcspcct  to  the  niernoi'v 


"  JoJiH  Hoss. 
Kicked  lu'  ;i  hoss." 

And  it  may  have  Ikh-ii  in  deep  drit'clioii  that  the 
IVicnds  (d'  till'  nnrortiiiiatc  youth  kiUcd  during;'  a  pyi'o- 
ti.'chnic  di-|)h\v  wrote  npoii  his  toiiih^loiie : 

••  Here   !    lie, 
Killcil  liy  n  sky- 
Iiiu'kc!   ill  ni\   eye." 

There  wa>  not  any  [ireiiii'ditated  h'vit\'  in  (he  liiie> 
lot  he  liieliior\"  (d' 

"  .Inim   >l;i!  pilcl'sdil — that    WoiidcrlM]   person; 
Six  tool  t  wo — wi'hoilt  iii>  siioe, 
And  slew — at   ^\^•ln•rlou." 

The  hiiiiioi  of  the  folhiwiiiu  i>owint:  to  the  peculiar 
piiiK  t  nation  : 

"  |jc(  led  lo  liir  meliiniy  of  .lohli    I'ldllips.      AeciiK'lUaliy 
>-liot  as  a  mark  ol'  all'ecMdii   l»y  iiis  lu'ol  iier.'" 

It   is  dillieiill    to   <iiy    whtther    in    je>t  or  monition 

the  follow  iii;i'  was  iiiscrihed    to  the  memory  id'   an  l*]arl 

of  K  ildare : 

•  Wiio  killed  Kildarev     Who  dared  Kihlare  to  kill? 
|)eatli  killed    l\ildare,  w  ho  dai'e  kill  w  lioiii  lie  will.'' 

Ill  <  iioiicester.   ICiiiilaml : 

■■  Twd  sw celer'iiahes  you  nare  did  see, 
'I'haii  (Jod  Aiiiily  uiive  to  nie; 
liilt   they   were  taken  uitii   auue  lits. 
And  here  they  lie,  as  dead  as  nils," 

poverty  iiicoii\-eiiient : 

' '  Here  I  lie  al   the  chancel  door. 
Here  I  lie  hecause  I'm  poor; 
'I'lie  furl  her  in  the  more  you  pay. 
But  1  lie  just  iis  warm  as  tiicv." 


ODD    i;i"l  lAI'II:  . 


10!l 


"  Ilcn;  lies  llic  Iwidy  i»t\  Huinplircy  Cole; 
Tlioiiiili  1)l.ick  his  iijiDic,  yd  wliilc  Iiis  soul: 
P.ii;  yet  lliniiL!!i  hhick.  tliniinli  carlioii  is  his  iiaiiic, 
'I'hc  ciialk  itsi'lf  is  !c>s  wliilc  than  his  I'aiiic." 


I>iil>    I  l'o!|(i|)c.  ;iii  ;il'cliit<'('t : 

•  1  li'i'c  Hcs  IJmI)  Trdllopi'. 
\\'\in  iiiaili'  I  ill'  vidiii's  roll   ii|t, 
\\  ii'ii  (li'Ml  h  liiok  hi>  sDiiI  up  : 
I  li-'  Ixiily  lillcl  ihi>  li(,|,.  iij)." 

<  >ii  "lie  li/;nitiriil  ,-l(i!ic  l!ii'  siiiTuwinLl'  lnisl);ill(l  ill- 
ti'iidiMl.  I  prc-iiiiii'.  Ill  h;i\c  ihi-  prayi'i'  I'lir  the  dead. 
(  wliicli  I'cnti-:  ••  L 'I  Iht  i-cst  in  p.-ac-."  )  ^'ll^■l■av('ll  (Hi 
ill''  >t(iiic:  liiii  ihf  -liipid  ai'ti>i.  imt  liaviiiLi'  rnoni  for 
the  whdic  scnlciici'.  <ali>li((l  liiiii-ilf  hv  piittiiiu'  (Ui  tlu' 
>l"iH'  ihc  Jii'si  h'ttci'.- «»t'  ihc  hist  thiTc  words,  and  iiow 
it  read-: 

"  I.cl  iifi'  r.  i.  p." 

A  l)('(  r  drinker: 

•  liciv  ..111  .Inhu  Uaiidall  lies, 

Who,  rnuiitiui:'  IVdiii  his  tali', 
Iii\  I'll  I  hii'i'  M'lii'i'  \  rai's  ami  ten, 
Siirh  \  iit  111'  \VM<  in  ale. 
All'  u  as  his  meat , 
Ale  was  ills  drink. 
Ah'  did  his  heart  riwivr. 
And  il'  he  euuld  ha\e  drank"  ins  ale. 
I  le  si  ill  had  Iti'i'ii  aii\e, 
.laniiary  ."i. 

"  Iferc  lies  ,lnhn  lliiihly.  whose  JaiJH'r  and  mother  were 
drowned  eoniinn-  to  .Vmeriea.  II;id  iliev  li\ei|  they  would 
litive  heeii  hurled  iiere." 


^'- 


10 


Tin;    ODD    MAX    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 


>- 


m 


I  Ul{ 


>•'¥ 


In    ii    Wiltsliii'o  cliiirt'liyjird    is   the    i'olIowiiiL:'   iii- 
sc-rii)li()ii : 

"  Here  lies  brothers  three  : 

Two  Mi'e  buried  liere. 

'I'lic  oilier  \v;is  ihfo'ivii  in  liie  sea. 

A  l.:.l)y: 

"  ( )])i'\l  its  eyes. 

'Took  a  peep: 
Diilnl  like  it. 
Went  asle('i)."' 

Ill    St.  ( "Iciiieiit's    cliiircliyard.    I  lastilii^s.    I(i7'_'.  is 
a   little  L;i»n(l  ;,^(i>|iel  : 

"Slo[).  iiioi'lai.  slop.  ;iml  I'ead   my  tah'  so  jtliiin  : 

Vou  ".vill  lie  Jos',  you  will  Ite  lu-i,  unless  you're  lioi'ii  auaiii.  " 

111    Isliiiiitoii   is  1(1   lie  t'(iilli(i : 

"  I'l'.-iy  liii'  t  lie  soul  111  (lal  ri'l  ■John. 

Who  (lied   in   the  yr;ir  KiOl    ; 

<  >r.  il  you  don't ,  it  is  ;dl  one." 
Ill    l>e!'ksliii'o  i-  llic  roljowili'j;-   lidod  adxiee: 

"  When  this  yoii  see.  pray  judLic  iioi  me, 

I'"or  '^in  eiiouuh    I  o\\  n  : 
.'Mind  yoiir  own  li\cs  and  jiid'jc  yoiir>el\ cs, 

fini  lea\c  otlna'  I'olks  alone," 

111  Poet's  ( 'onier.  N\'estiiiiii.-.t(i'  AMuv.  many  will 

liave  s(.a'ii  <  i:iy  ".■«  c  pittipli : 

"  i,it'e  is  a  je^l,  and  all  thing's  show  il  ; 
I  thoiiLihl  so  once,  hut  now  I  know  it," 

Tlie  eoiicludiiiu'  ]»:ii't  ol'  all  epitaph    of  a    Kentish 
lady  is: 

"  She  was 
In  heart  a  l.ydia,  and  in  ton.nue  a  Hannah. 
In  /eal  a  Kutli.  in  wedlock  a  Susannah  ; 
I'riKleiil  ly  simple.  pro\  ideiitially  wary, 
'I'o  the  vvoiid  a  .Mai'tha  and  to  heaven  a  .Marv," 


<>i>i>   i:i"i  r.M'iis. 


11 


will 


Kiiially  the  old  >,,|(|i..r-s  (•..nrcsHun.  in   ( "lii,.|ic'stcr 
i-luiivliy;ir<l.  we  coiil.l  iiiniiy  dI'  ii-  cnddisr: 

"  lli'iv  li(.^  Mil  ()l,|  siildicr.  whom  all  iiuis;  applaud. 
Siiirr  Ur  siiih.nMl  iimcii  iianlshii.  al  lioiiic  aiul  ahroad. 
*  IJi'.t  llic  lianl.'si  rim-i-viiiciii  he  ever  was  ii-,. 

^\■ils  lli(.  haltjc  nf  self  in  tlic  coihuicsI  of  si-\" 

"  .loliii  I'l'osscr 
Is  my  name.  ;ini!    Kimlaiui  i>  !iiy  nation  : 

N<'\v  1  am  (!r:i,l  and  in  my  ,-ra\c.  .,nd  .all  my  l.oncs  arc  rottt-ii  . 
Asyoii  pa.-s  hy  ivmcmlicr  me,  wiicn  I  am  (piiic  foryom-n." 

--|  W'rilicn  l)y  himself. 
.Iiid-v  ( iooi'n,.    nanliiiiiv.  iliivc    liouis    hcd'oiv   his 
'Icath.  addiv--od  llii>  rliyiiir.j  Icllci' to  liis  crcdiioi's.  uhd 
it  was  ciiLiraxcii  ii|»oii  his  lohih: 

■'  Dear  .Mcsni-s.  Tippcns:      Wha'  is  IVaivd   by  you. 

Alas!  the  melancholy  eiiHanns'ance,  is  i  laie 

'I'lial  I  am  dead  :  and  more  aHeeiin^'  still. 

•My  le-al  assets  cannot  j>a_\    \oiii'liill. 

'I'o  think  of  this,  I'm  almost   hrokendieai'lcd  : 

Insolvent.  I  this  earthly  life  departed. 

Dear  Messis.  T,,  I'm  youi's,  without  a  laiMliinn 

l''oi' e.\e( mors  and  .M'lf.     (Jko.  II  \i!I)1N(.i;." 

A  child: 
"  Into  1  his  world,  as  strau'^cr  jo  an  iim, 
This  child  eame  ,i;iiesi  wise,  where,  when  il  had  lieiai 
Awhile,  aiiil  found  noiiLdit  of  his  stay, 
lie  only  broke  his  fast  and  wcu:  away." 

A  lilllc  -iri: 

"  The  (Hip  of  life  ^he  w  itii  li?'r  lips  hut  pressed. 
Found  the  taste  liilter,  and  declined  the  rest. 
Averse,  tlKMi  lui'nim:'  from  the  face  of  da\. 
She  Li'ently  sii^jied  her  little  soul  away." 

!''l'oill    Isliiioloii.    iSdS; 

"Slic  had  no  fault,  Imt  that  the  travellers  nive  the  moon,— 
IIci'  li.n'ht  was  lovch  ,  hut  she  died  too  soon." 


1- 


«•      li. 


iS 


11-  tin;    ODh    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIKS. 

Attril)iit('!l  to  Drydcii : 

••  IIci'c  lies  my  wil'r  ;   liciv  let  Ium'  lie. 
SIic's  at  rest  now.  and  soam  1." 

Frmu  the  Asliiuulcan  collcctiou : 

■'  Wild  lit's  ill  tliis  toml)  ? 

lldiiLili  I  (|U()llic  devil,  'tis  my  son,  Joim  C'ltinlt." 

M  r>.   K(isc"s  loiiih: 

■■  "^ixt  ycigli!  years  a  TraLr-rant  rose  ^lie  lasted. 
Nor  vile  reproach  her  virtues  ever  hhisled  : 
Her  autumn  ))as|,  expects  a  Iiet'cr  sprint-, 
A  second  i)  'lU'i'  life,  more  llourishinii'. 

<  >ii  Mrs.  ( Jrccnwood: 

■■<»  death:  ()  death!  t  hou  hast  cut  down 
The  lies!  (Jiceiiwood  in  all  this  town. 
lier  virtue--  and  ^(khI  ipiaiitics  wei'c  such, 
She  was  wopihy  to  marrv  a  lord  or  a  judnc  : 
^  et  such  her  condescension  and  hunnlity. 
She  chose  tomari'N'  a  doctor  of  divinitv." 

On  I):-.  Hill: 

'•  And  now  this  Hill,  tho"  under  stones, 

lias  the  Lord's  hill  to  lie  on  ; 
For  liincoln  Hill  has  u'(>t  his  hones. 

His  soul  t  he  Hill  of  Zioii." 

.\iniui;:-  tlic  iiKuiiiiiiciits  in   South    Iliiyiini:'  i>  tlitit 
id'  Sarah  lloLicrs: 

"  Ye  vii'Li'ins  lair,  youi'  ileeiiiii:-  ch.arms  survey  ; 

She  once  was  all  your  tender  hearts  can  say. 

Let  o])eninL;'  I'ose  and  di^iopiiiH'  Ijllies  tell. 

Like  them  she  hloomeil,  and  ah  I   like  them  she  died." 

In  Devonshire  tiierc  is  a  ver.-c,  Init  no  iianie: 

"  The  wedding'  day  appointed  was, 
.\nd  weddino-  clothes  providc'd  : 

Hut  ere  the  day  ilid  eoine.  alas  ! 
He  sickened  and  he  die  did,'" 


()/>;)   KiTr.vi'ijs. 


113 


Kit 


111  Luiuloii : 

••nereli,.s;tl.,'b,„|y„f  William  Wn.v 
>V  ••.•i|)p('<|  ii|)  in  clay. 

1  liiivc  iKi  more  lo  s;iy." 
Aii()ili(.i-: 

*■  Un-v  licsJaiH'  Ivitclicn, 
Wl'o,  uli<.„  lier  o-i.,ss  was  spent 
KW<.^dupI„.r|„.,.|sMn.iaua^slu.  went.- 
All  (.raaiiist,  St.  Man's  C.Hon,.- 
"  Ih'w  lies  one  blown  out  of  breath 
WlH.  lived  M  n.erry  lite  und  died  ,i  nien-y  death." 
Roirer  Mart  ill. • 

"  1  fere  lies  the  wile  of  Roo-e,- Martin  • 
Sli.' was  a  i,oo,l  wife  t.)  Ro-er-thafs  sartin." 
'I'ivcrtoii,  Eiiuland: 

''Oil  ho  I     Who  lie.s  here  V 
'Ti>;  I,  the  uo,.d  Karl  of  I)<.v()nsliire, 
With  Kat<.,  my  wile,  f  me  full  dear  • 
A\<'  liv.'d  ton-ether  lilty-live  year." 

fii  Oxfoi'dshirt- 

"'■'■'■  "'■"  I'nlli.'rand  in..ther  and  sisier  and   1 

Uvall  died  within  the  span,  of  one  short  vear  • 
'  hey  be  all  Ixnieii  except   I 

And  I  be  l)uricd  here." 
Safa-h  Sexton  ; 

■'ir«'n'  iies  III,    body  of  Sarah  Se.xton. 

Wli..  uasa  -.x.d  wife  and  never  ve.xe.l  one  ■ 

I  '"111  I  say  Ihai  of  U,,.  urW  one." 

'';''•'  '-"•■  ^Vives.-M,,  A.leler  Chuivl,  n.arnVd 
'<;"'•  "nes:  his  wives  were  all  luinVd  in  the  .sauie 
•''""vhyanl.  He  niiWeiiook  (n  ,nuv,>  iIkmu.  He  was 
"""'''•'•'•"■"  ^^''i<'lMvas  Emily  ami  wl.ieli  was  Hannah 


i: 


r 


I 


114 


THE    ODD    MAX    AND    III8    ODDITIES. 


but  being  particular,  he  could  uot  use  the  ohl  tomb- 
stones ;  so  he  had  a  new  one  prepared  and  enirraved 
thus: 

"Stranger,  pause  and  (h*op  a  tear. 
For  Emily  Church  lies  buried  here. 
Mingled  in  some  mysterious  manner 
With  iMary,  ^Matilda,  and  probably  Hannah.  " 

A  sexton's  tond): 

"  Beneath  these  stones  repose  the  bones 

Of  Theodosias  Grinnn  ; 
He  took  his  beer  from  year  to  year. 

And  then  his  bier  took  him." 


[#!; 

m 


( 


■:r 


'<>f>i>s  A.vij  i:m)s. 


115 


CJIAPTKIi  VII. 

<>I>J).S  ANJ)  KXDS. 

In  ^lii.-cl.aptcr  there  is  ucurmusc 


"I  .v..e     lu.ym,.,..v,.,.,..li,,o.|v  |„„„,.,„„,  „„,,  ^       ^^;^ 
'"*•'  '"  ■•'"  '""-  "'  <l-  "itly I  ,l,e  l„.lK.,-ou.. 

.fACOli  Klssi:i)  KA(^Hi;l, 

Amllin,.,:    ,,,,  his  v„i,,.  ,„„1   „,.,,t.     Wl.vweepf 
Answers  In- (iic  Kn-lisI,  l„,„,.  .      '^''P  • 

/'"'■''/  T.-U,j,:,,,u.-^yx   liaehol  was  a  pretty    ,vi,.| 
I     .■l.H.MVeel«,n,woea,r,seew,J,,,eL;r';,; 

^^lie  slapped  Lis  Huv  Fo,-  hi,,,. 

f  "■'^"■';'^'^     .S./o.v..-_Weepi„.     is    „ol     „nf,o. 
<ino„tlv   p.-o.l..ee<l   hy  extre,.,e  ph-asu.-e.  jov  and    , •  , 

i»"-s:it„,i.hthaveheensoinJae.drsea.e  ' 

Ao.<.../o>...V.-__The  eai.se    of  Jaeoh's   weepi,,. 

-asthe,vCnsal.,all<.whe.-t.,kisshi.na,ai,..        ^     '^ 
^  <hj   /V..v.s.._It  is,>aro,)i„io„  that  Jac.h  u(>pf  he- 
-nse  he   had    ,..„  kissc-d   he,-  hefo.-e,  a,.<l  he  was  s<„.,-v 
for  the  fi„i,>  |,(.  Iijid  h,s|. 

/W/  J/.//  </...7/..^The  felh,.-  wept   heeau.o  the 
)l\\'\  <Iid  not  kiss  him. 

^V.7/../;,s7  /^.,,,/o-._Jaeol,  wept  because  Kaehel 
'"l'»l,i,„'Modo,tonee,„o.v,"a.,<l  he  wa,s  afVaid  to. 


yi . 


lU)  "niK    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDrmiS, 


"*^I^S^' 


►M'",. 


I 


Siniddj/  ({(izcft)'. — .I.u'oh  cried  because  Raclief 
threatened  to  tell  her  mamma. 

Ch'i'krtnrrll  X('ir.-<.  —  He  \vei)t  because  there  was- 
only  one  Rachel  tr  kiss. 

.Jnrhh  Cli r>>ii irh\  —  -l\v  wept  for  i(»y,  because  it 
tasted  s(»  i>;ood. 

lirlfis/i  Sf((n<l(ir(l. — We  reckon  flacob  cried  be- 
cause I\achel  had  been  initinu-  onions. 

Xt'ic  /f((/(iii<l  Ex(nn'nirf. — Our  o|)inion  is  that 
.lacob  wept  because  he  found  after  all  it  was  not  half 
what  it  was  cracked  uj)  (o  be. 

Tlir  Lidllrs'  Chnnilch'.-  ~\  mistake;  not  his  eves 
luit  his  mouth   watereil. 

Fine  .1/7  <ii(irffr. He    tlKMlU'llt   it    was  I'iist  color, 

bui  wept  (o  lind  the  paint  came  oil". 

('Iiiirch  Jdiinnil.  lie  remembered  ju'  was  her 
uncle.  an«'  recollected  wluit  the  prayer  book  savs  on 
<'onsiin:iuinit  V. 

Sjun'tiiKj  ( 'hroiiif/r.-  -\lv  tiiou_L;hi  >iie  mi;;ht  have 
a  bi:^'  hi'other. 

/vry;/''>>-.  -  IJeeause  there  was  no  time  for  jinother. 

Musical  Xiihs,  ^\'il,•n  he  lifted  up  his  voice  he 
found  it  wa-  hea\y,  and  i-onld  uol  <j:r{  il  sd  InLili  iis  he 
expcrteil. 

Ildjilisl  (iiiiih  .  lie  tried  t<i  impixe  (»ii  her  feel- 
in.Li's  heeause  he   \\aute(|  her  to   lend    him  ti\e  shilliuLiS. 

Millniilisl  \,ir<.  lie  kuew  there  wa.-a  lime  to 
weep  :   il  had  e(»me.  and  he  dared  not  put  il  ojf. 

.1  Truer  ft,  Ml.  IJeneath  llie  <larry  \aidl  or 
ii'olden  sun  is  there  auiiiit  in  nature  or  in  ai'l  e([ual  to 
the  rapture  and  intense  deliciou<ness  of  the  lirst  kiss? 
1    answer,    \erilv    no.      .Jacob    had    never   kissed    I'air 


"WSff!- 


u\     Kis-;|N(;, 


117 


maiden  holorc  and  his  tirsl  i-cali/atiou  o\  i-rowning 
life's  delieioiisnt'ss  in  tliese  moments  oveirame  him, 
and  he  wept  l'(»r  joy. 

I'OI.I'KV   Ol'   KISSINC. 

Ilavinu  hcai'd  i'roni  the  [HX's.-^  on  kissinu',  we  will 
now  have  a  feu  eoii|»lels  IVom  the  |>o(>ts  most  varied  in 
theii'  eoneeits  on  all  sort>  of  kisses  expressive  of  all 
sorts  of  sentiments — from  Shakespeare  to   iinonymons. 

Phlhiih  Iplilii  Xnr^. — There  are  all  sorts  of  kisses, 

expi'essi\c  of  all   orts  of  sentiments.      There  is  the  kiss 

of    the   hair,  denotim:'    revermee,  and    of   a    kind  that 

srcnied  i(t  >atisfy   Swinbnrne.      lie  says: 

"  Ivissiiig  licr  hair,  I  sat  at  licr  feet. 

Wove  and  unwove  it,  wouiiii,  aiul  found  it  sweet.". 

There  is  a  kiss  on  the  foiudn-ad,  denotin.u'  este<'m, 
>n(di  as  .Mrs.  IJi'owninn'  nu'iilions: 

'Otilv  a  tear  for  N'eiiieeV     Siie  turned  as  in  a  passion  and  loss, 
And  stooiiini:-  to  his  forelii'ad  and  kissed  it,  as  if  slie  were  Uiss 
iiiij;  a  cross." 

There  is  a  kiss  on  the  ehecd;.  i.  token  of  frii-nd- 
sliij)  ;  the  kiss  on  the  nose,  peeiiliar  to  the  Hottentots. 
shiniiiLi'  and  oleaginous  :  the  kiss  on  the  toes,  tendered 
to  jKtpes  atid  hahies:  the  kiss  on  the  lips,  expressive 
4)['  passiuii.  with  an  e\ehan,u'e  of  caresses  in  the  ceiitael. 
l''rom  the  lips  we  lict  tlH>  best  sain|des.  and  are  always 
williiiii'  to  take  the  whole  lot  !  Ilerriek  knew  preeiscdy 
where  to  locale  a  kiss.      lie  says: 

"  p  is  a  ereat\n'e  Ituni  and  l)red 
P.elween  llie  lips,  all  eiierry  red." 

So  ditl  Sam  Lever: 
•And  lie  looked  into  lier  eyes  tliat  were  heainhi.u"  with  li.U'lit, 
And  he  kissed  her  sweet   lips— don't   vou  tliink  he  was  ri.irht  ?" 


^^i 


w 


W' 

w 


118 


TIIK   ODD    MAN    AM)    IIFS   ODDrTIKS. 


I**  ^ 

I 

i; 

11m 


rr 


I 


Of  coiiivo  lio   was.      An    Irislinuui    generally    is, 

espocially  wlioii  \w  isn't    wroMj*'.     TIum-c   is  the  formal 

kiss,  the  timid  kiss,  tlie  ('linniii;>-  kiss,  the  dicaway  kiss, 

the  explosive  kiss,  and   tlie  stok-n   kiss.      The  hitter  is 

the  most  blissl'id.      Leigh   Hunt  .seemed  to   know  how 

it  was  himscdl': 

'■  Stolen  swcrls  arc  alwiiys  sweeter, 
Stolen  kisses  niueii  completer." 

If  jnst  h('si(h'  th(>  uarth'n  iiatc,  l)i'ii:'lit  stars  and 
flutlefinu'  lea\es  overheiid.  the  crickets  chiipiiiu'  in  the 
jjfrass.  the  cow-hells  tiiikling  in  the  pastiifcs,  tlu  air 
drowsy  with  itew-nciwii  hay,  the  hi'eath  hot  and  tlu^ 
bosom  swelling:'  and  heaving',  it  is  csi^'cially  rascinatiiiti'. 
It  is  a  labial  j)astoi"a].  Such  a  kiss  is  wofth  takinii; 
tlie  chances  of  hciny'  lii't'd  across  the  lawn  in  lealhcr- 
tocd  instalments. 

W'v  don't  mean  to  say  that  .lacob  kissed  Kaclud 
beside  the  garden  irate  but  wc  considcf  that  he  was 
very  foolish  to  crow  about  it.  imless  he  critMl  for  the 
same  reason  that  ()liver  'I'wist  did      l'(tr  more. 

Kiss  and  bliss  rhyme  admirably,  and  of  course 
the  |)leasinu  custom  has  been  well  descanted  iiiion  by 
tlie  poets,  ('aiitos  would  suri'eit,  so  we  merely  yive  a 
few  couplets,  those  most  varied  in  I  heir  contents. 

Beginniii;:'  with  Siuikespeare.  we  take  occasion  lo^ 
say  that  he  had  no  |)atience  with  kisses  that  were  not 
substantial.      I  le  says: 

"  Some  lliere  he  that  sliailows  kiss  ; 
Such  ha\e  lull  a  shadow's  liliss." 

He  did  not  like  them  diluted,  Hyron,  on  tite 
other  hiind,  considers  them  rather  evanescciil.  Ile- 
f^MVs: 


fc" 


ODDS    AND    KNDS. 


119 


'•  Why  so  suddenly  art  gone  '? 
Lost  in  the  nionu-iit  tliou  art  won.'' 

AVc  Imve  heard  oF  kisses  tiii^lint,^   clear  down    to 
the  toes  of  one's  hoots,  |)ossibly  an  exa^-<reration,  and 
yet  the  same  poet  mentions  one  in  which  he 
"  Felt  the  wjiile  a  pleasing  kind  of  sjnart, 
Tlie  kissing  went  tiihcling  to  his  heart." 

While  Drych-n  <>ives  them  a  sort  of  aftennatli 
that  is  trnly  (h'licious: 

"  The  sweetiu.ss  iiung  upon  my  lips  all  ilay, 
Like  drops  of  honey  loath  to  fall  away." 

Drayton  hated  to  In.  tantali/e(L  lie  wonhln't 
feed  on  husks.  He  wanted  the  wlioh'  iieart  thrown 
into  the  operation : 

"  lli'r  poor  half  kisses  killed  uk;  (piite  ; 

Was  ever  man  111  us  served  V 
Amidst  an  ocean  of  delight, 

For  pleasure  lo  lie  starved." 

Schiller  indulues  in  an  ardent  outbreak: 
"  Wlio  made  Ihy  glances  to  my  soid  the  link  ? 
Which  make  me  luuii  thy  very  soul  to  drink." 

'rcunyson  is  satiated    liitle  short  of  ;i  di'jug'e: 
"  ()  joy  '     ()  bliss  of  blisses  I 
Come  l)allie  me  with  lli\   kisses," 

Acc(Mding  to  John  livh',  ('ampas(|e  held  winiiin<>; 
hand>  evei'y  lime: 

"  ('u|ud   ind  my  ( 'ampasiic  played 
At  lards  lor  kisses;  Cupid  pidd." 

Coipu'ltes  are  not  chary  em)n^'h  with  their  kis.ses. 
I'arnell  gives  this  couplet: 

" 'IMien  in  a  kiss  she  hrealheil  her  various  arts, 
<  M'  Irilliiig  prellil\   with  human  liearis  " 


KKf 


mii 


"♦»»■»»,,. 


]20 


THE    ODD    .MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIK; 


Ill 


Thomas  L(»(|o(.  seemed  (o  luive  ti  penchant  for  iu- 
ce.«sant  kissino.- 

"  JMy  kisses  iirc  liis  daily  feast, 
And  yet  lie  robs  me  of  my  rest.'" 

Sir  WiHiam  Davenaiit  helieve<l  that  their  charm 
consisted  in  their  nnmhers  and  their  rapidity,  (Jatlinj;. 
.Clin  style: 

"  Her  kisses  faster;  tliougli  uiikiKnvii  before, 
Than  blossoms  sweeter,  and  in  numbers  more." 
(icori-e  Withers  l)etray(>d  the  sanu   weakness: 

"  Like  d(»ves  mc  would  be  l)illin,y, 

And  clip  and  kiss  so  fast  ; 
Vet  she  would  be  unwilling' 

That  1  should  kisslho  last." 

Caniphell  innh'rstood  how  precious  thcv  were 
durini;-  courtsliip: 

"  How  delicious  is  the  wimiiii,^- 
Ot  a  kiss  at  love's  Ix'iriruiinu'." 
So  did  !>ucknum  : 

"  An<l  liapi)y  ihiiiiis  were  said  and  kisses  won. 
And  serious  ^ia(hiess  round  it  went  in  fun." 

Kltenezer  Kllioi  dreaih'd  h>st  ca.li  kiss  niinht  he 
the  hist: 

"  I  ever  trendile  in  my  iiliss. 
For  there  aic  farewells  in  a  kiss." 

I)..dsh"y  was  williiin'  lo  take  his.  whatever  the  risk: 

"  One  kiss  iiefi.rr  we  pari, 

'I'houyii  we  sever,  fund  my  heart." 
('h!irl(.tlc  l'\  Ihdcs   parts  with  hers  hcurndyinulv : 
''All  the  kisses  I  have  n'wrw  \  niMidi^e 

From  my  soul  to-day  : 
And  of  all  I  have  ever  taken  1  woidd 

Wipe  the  thouyhl  away," 


<'l»l>.s    AM)    I;M)s. 


121 


While  Tl.uniiis  Canon    Im.l    tlie  inipuden.r  to  sav 
tl'Ht  iKMii.ln-l  raivlorhisswml.eairskissrs: 

"  I  do  not  love  ilur  for  (liosc  soft 
Ifcd  cora]  li|)s  I've  kissed  so  oft." 

Kisses  aiv  nice  jnst  after  a  <|.iaiTel  ;    one  foi-ives 
■-«•  Im.-vIv.      At  least  so  lluoh  (\,„way  tliouuht;    ' 
■■  And  if  jicr  ,.yes  are  dim  with  tears, 

I  iz'rud-c  tJieni  not  their  tender  lain  ; 
3Iy  love  can  charm  tile  misty  fears, 
And  kiss  I  lie  suiisliine  hack  auain," 

Ashley    Steiry  saucily  tell>  ii.>    how  he  would 
vent  a  <|u;irrel  in  advance: 


ore 


"  And  if  siie  dared  her  lips  to  |i(iiil, 

Like  many  pert  .Noun.ii-  misses, 
I'd  wind  ifiy  arm  her  waist  alxml. 

And  pimisli  her  witji  kisses," 

Author  unknown  ; 

"  My  Inveaiid  I  for  kisses  jiiayed  ; 

Siie  would  keep  slakes.   |  was  e.,iilenl  ; 
Hut  when  slie  won  she  would  he  p.aid  ; 

This  made  me  ask  her  what  she  meant, 
(iuolh  she.    •  Since  yoii  are  in  this  wran.ylin.u'  vein. 
Here,  lake  yniir  kisses— nive  me  nn'ne  a,^■aill.  ' 

A  little  l.oy  wa<  asked  l.y  a  la<ly.  il,,.  other  day. 
''"'  ''  '^'"'-  "<■  ii'iiiiediately  coiu|)lie<l  ;  hut  the  lad\  , 
'H'lieili-  llml  Ihe  litlle  fellnw  drew  his  hand  acn)ss  lii.^ 
"P^;  '••''iiiiiked:      •■  Ah.  hiil    you  are   riihhiuu.    jf  ,,|]V' 

y  ■"^'"'   '  "'"'!•■■   ^V'>'^    ll'<'    '|'l="l<    H'ply  ;     •■  r,„  nihl.inn. 
il    in." 

I'rol'.  I'daekie  (uice  chalked  (ui  his  n(.!ice-ie.-ird  Jn 
<'n|le,nv:  ••'idle  i.n.fessor  is  uiiahle  lo  iiuvl  his  (diisses 
'"-"""''"^^    "      A    \Vil.L!',i;isli    sludent     removed  the  "c  " 


5. 


ti,f 


r 


I 


122 


Tin:    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITIES. 


leavinjr  "lassos."  Wlioii  the  professor  rotiiriied  he 
noticed  tlie  new  rcndoriiii":.  Iviual  to  tlie  occasion, 
the  professor  (juietly  riihhed  out  the  "1."  and  joined 
in  the  hearty  huiudi  with  tlie  "•  asses." 

A  <reutleiiian,  whose  custom  was  to  entertain  very 
often  a  circK'  of  friends,  observin<>-  that  one  of  them 
was  in  the  habit  of  eatinsi;  something  before  grace  was 
asked,  determined  to  cui'e  him.  Upon  a  repetition  of 
the  offence,  he  said:  •'  For  what  we  are  about  to  re- 
ceive, and  for  what  James  Tayh)r  has  ahvady  received, 
the  liord  make  us  truly  thankful." 

Tin:  MORAL  TOJI.KT  Toll  A   vol  N(i    I.ADV. 

The  Mirror.  S(>lf   Kuowhdge. 

Tliis  ctiridus  ulass  will  briiiu'  your  I'aulls  lo  liiilii, 
Aiui  make  your  virtues  sliinc  hotli  stroun'  and  l)ri>i'lit. 

Til  Siinxifli    \l' rill /:/('.■<.  Contentment. 

.\  daily  portion  of  lliis  essence  use  : 

'Twill  smooth  the  lirow  and  lran(|Uil  joy  infuse. 

Lip  Sa/rr.  Truth. 

I'se  dailv  lor  your  lips  this  precious  dve  ; 
Tiiey'll  redden  and  breathe  the  sweeter  melody. 

/y//r   U'lihr.  ('(im|)assioii. 

'I'lie^e  dro|i>  w  ill  add  u'reat  lustre  to  t  he  eye  ; 
\Vlien  uii'ic  you  need,  the  |)oor  will  sou  supply. 

To  Prmiil  Eritjitioiin.  Wisdom. 

It  calms  ihe  temper,  iteautities  the  face, 
And  iiivev  Id  all  a  dii;nity  and  iirace. 

f-^ir-riiK/s.  .\lteutioi!  and  Obedience. 

With  these  clear  drops  appended  to  the  eai', 
Instructive  lessons  von  will  uladlv  hear. 


fi^'Cbaiai»ffi^iS>!i-.-'/iJ(B-i .. 


"*'  '«*'*'•  ^t;; 


'1 


J 


A    I,()')KIN<i    (M.ASS. 

Bmor/rfs.  Noatncss  and  Industry. 

Clasp  tlifni  on  ciicli  diiy  you  live  ; 
To  ii'ood  (Icsiiiiis  tliry  cllicacv  i^ivc. 

.1//    rj(i</ic  < liiidc.  I'iUicMlcc. 

The  nior-  in  use  tiic  hriuliici-  it  will  l'tow, 
Tlidiiuli   \i'i\<\  in  nicril  is  cici-nal  show. 

liliKj  nf  Trh'il  dnhl.  Principle. 

"Nielli  ihil  ;!i;s  u'oiiicn  circle  while  yon  live  ; 
'rwil!  \if('  i-cstrain  and  peace  of  conscience  giv(.'. 

Pnii-I    XrrUurr.  IvCsiniinl  ioil . 

Tliis  nihanient  enilielli^hes  tlie  fair, 
And  leaches  all  tin;  ills  of  life  to  I)ear. 

f>i((lii(iii(/  llrai^l  Phi.  I.ovc  to  All. 

Adorn  yi'ir  iiosom  wilii  this  pi'eeioiis  pin  ; 
It  shines  without  and  waiins  the  lieai'l  within. 

.1   Trill   Tiiiiijtiri;\  I{e,unliirity. 

liy  this  the  yo\ithlul  fair  may  leain  to  pri/.e, 
And  will  improve  each  moment  as  it  llics. 

S(l(cl  Hixjin't.  ('()in|)any. 

liehtiJd  ihr  gay  assemlilaue  I  hnl  beware, 
l''iir  all  are  ikiI  ;is  iiuKieenl  as  lair. 

.1   i i iiivrj'iil  Hniiiliii II .  I'olitcness. 

'rile  lurehead  neatly  cir(  le(|  with  this  band 
Will  admiration  and  respicl  command. 


128 


.1     I'll  riniis   hniilnii . 


Piety. 


Wlioei'i  this  jireeious  diadem  sludl  own, 
Seeures  heiself  mi  e\ crlasi  iii'j;-  crow  n, 

I 'iiii'i  I'.-iiil  III ii iitilii  I'.  (lood  Teniper, 

With  this  el.oiee  li(piid  gently  loiieh  the  mouth  ; 
It  spreads  oil'  all  tin   face  the  charms  of  y(nilli. 


■1 


^t 


m 


m 


124 


TMi:    (»1»I)    MAN    AND    HIS    ODDITI  i:s. 


MXKS    ON     (IKNKSIS    II.,   21-2'J— 15V   (  IIAKM-S    WKHLEY. 

Xot  tVoiii  liis  liciul  \v;is  woniMii  tot^U, 
As  iTiiuic  Iicr  IiusbMiid  to  o'crlook  : 
Not  from  liis  feet,  ms  one  desioncd 
Tlic  footstool  of  ilic  stronger  kind  ; 
Hut  f.'tsliioiu'd  for  liinisclf.  ;i  hridc, 
An  ('(|ual  taken  fi-oni  his  side  : 
Her  place  intended  to  maintain, 
The  mate  and  iilory  of  the  man  ; 
'I'o  rest,  as  still  lieneath  his  arm, 
I'roteeted  by  her  lord  from  harm, 
.\nd  never  from  his  heart  removed. 
And  only  less  than  ({oil  I)eIo\cd 

A  Scotch  uohlciiKiii.  scciiiu-  ill!  old  <ziir,lciu>f  ,,f  In., 
t'stahlisliiiK'iit  with  n  v<>it  r;i,i:-,«-(Ml  cont.  nuuh"  some 
[mssiiiL:  rcnmrk  on  its  condition.  ••  It's  n  vcrv  uiiid 
coat.  '  sai<l  the  honest  old  man.  '•!  cannot  auTcc 
with  yon  there."'  said  his  Loidship.  ••  .\v.  jts  a  vcrra 
guid  coat/"  |)crsistc(l  the  old  man  :  •>  it  covers  a  con- 
tented sjiiiit.  ami  a  body  that  o\»c.-  no  man  anvthin-. 
and  that's  mair  than  niony  a  man   can  say  of  his  coat. 

t;Ai;i,v  i;isiN(i. 

"lie  who  will  thi'i\(' must  rise  al  ti\r." 
So  says  the   jtroverh.  thonuiii    there  is  more  rlivine 
than  reason  in  it  :   for  if 

lie  who  would  thii\-e  must  rise  at  ti\c, 
It  must  lollow.  (I   forfiiiri. 

IFe  who'd  thrive  more  nnist  I'isr  at  four  : 
•  Mill  it  will  iiifiirc.  h  forfisshiio,  that 

JFe  who'd  still  moi'e  thrivinii'  lie, 
Must  leave  iiis  bed  at  turn  of  lhr<c  ; 
And  u  ho  this  lattei'  would  outdo. 
Will  rousi;  him  at  the  stroke  of  two  ; 


■Pf 


CIIOWINC     IlKNs. 


12."> 


And.  hv  way  of   clii.Kix   to  the   uliol,'.  it  siiciiM  >t:m<l 
good  tlijit 

lie  who'd  novel-  Itr  outdone. 
Must  ever  rise  as  soon  as  one. 

15iit  the  hcst  iiliistfiitioii  would  !)(>  thus: 

Hi'  wlio'd  nourish  best  of  all, 
Should  ncv(;r  iio  to  hod  at  all. 

A  |)foniisiiio'  youth  ol"  nine  suniincrs.  in  Western 
Massachusciis.  at  ii  school  ivceiitly  iviievcd  iiis  over- 
hui'ih'ucd  uiiiid  as  foMows: 

"  Loi'd  of  love,  look  dow  ii    IVoni  al)ove. 

rpfui  us  little  scholars  ; 
We  have  a  fool  to  teach  our  school 

And   pay  her  twenty  dollars." 

Mu.  \'oi,r.\ii:i:.  having'  paid  s(»nu'  hiuii  coni|)li- 
iiniit>  to  llic  ccjchratcd  IIall(>r.  was  told  that  IlaMcr 
was  n(d  in  tlu'  hal»il  (d'  s|)eal<iii-' so  favorahly  of  Iiini. 
"Ah!"  said  N'oltairc,  with  an  air  of  |)hiioso|)lHc  in- 
dulu't'ucc.  ••!. hire  say  wc  arc  hoili  of  ns  vcrv  much 
mistaken."" 

11! i:  (  itou  INC  iii:.\s. 

In  Koo^lrrland  oinc— i  Ids  was  cvcNn  aiio 

'I'hci-e  arose  eeriaiii  hens  who  detei'nn'ned  In  ci'ow. 

••These  roosters  1,10  jnn;^-."  Ihey  rejx'ated  with  scorn. 

"  Have  held  a  monopoly  oxei'  ihi'  .lawn. 

'I'll!' ai!c^  ha\c  proii're^scd.  and  wc  heirs,  hi,.,  juivc  riiihl.s; 

^\  '■  '•■■111  herald  I  hr  day  (|uile  as  well  as  |  he  knights. 

\\  I'll  pelilion  llir  Siui  just  to  jjvc  n^  a  show  , 

And  he'll  sei'  who  ilie  loudest  and   pi'onijitest  can  ci'ow  1" 

The  sun  their  pi 'I  it  ion  acci'plcd  ami  s.aid  : 

"  ir  yon  think  vou  can  wake  uieontini<'.  :.!-o  ahead." 

'I"he  hens  wci'c  all  cliaiined  ;   hut  the  xcry  next  da\- 

The  c!j:!i'  Inisiness  e;dled  1  lieii' al  t  enl  ion  awav. 


<■-  '1!PI' 


126 


Tin:    ODD    MAX    AND    HIS    ODDJTIKS. 


r ')! 


And  tlic  Sun,  when  ho  arf)si'  qtiitc  lieUitod  and  slow. 
Cried:     "Wliilc  hens  have  locat-klc  tlicy  never  can  erow. 

mohai,. 
liCt  tlie  ladies  who  seek  for  the  ballot  reflect  ! 
The  ('l<'<tors  more  potent  than  those  who  elect. 
They  don't  vote  ;  Imt  just  think  of  the  "  representation  " 
Of  the  "sex  '  who  (•()ntril)ute  the  whole  population. 

A  Toronto  chiuvh  was  visited  lately  by  a  stranuor 

on  Rahbatli  moruini;  while   the   choir  san";   that    siood 

old  j)iece: 

"Jerusalem,  my  happy  liome. 
Name  ever  dear  to  nie." 

This  is  what    the  choir  san_i>',  but   the  stranger  did  not 

not  kn(»w  it  ;   to  him  it  sounded  more  like: 

"  Uue  slam,  mai>  pome. 
Name  vahde  turm  me," 

An  Frishnian  who  had  on  a  very  ragged  coat  was 
tisked  what  stuH'  it  was  made  of.  "  Bedad.  I  don't 
know."  said  he,  "hut  1  think  the  most  of  it  is  made 
of  fresh  aii'." 

Mistress  to  sei'vant — ''  Did  you  tell  those  ladies 
jit  the  door  that  I  was  not  at  home?"  ••  ^'is.  mum," 
Mistress — "  What  did  they  say?"  St>rvant — "'Mow 
fortunate." 

.I.U'K   AND   Ills  IIAKD   HMT. 

"  Hallo,  .lack  !  lia'lo  !  Won't  you  have  a  drink 
this  cohl  morning."  ci'ie(l  a  bloated-looking  tavern- 
keejH'i'  to  a  jolly  lar,  wlio  was  smartly  stepping  along 
the  street. 

.lack  had  formerly  been  a  hard  drinker,  and  had 
spent  many  a  dollar  in  the  tavern   iu-  was  now  jjassing, 


s^ffpSiP^  "j^" 


,t- 


r 


'WW 


m 


^91* 


MAIM)    I-r.MI'S. 


127 


but  about  a  year  ago  lie  had   ^ioned  the  teinperaiu-e 
l)le(lge. 

"No,  huidlonK  no.  I  can't  drink;  I've  out  a 
hard  lump  at  my  side."  As  the  witty  sailor  siidHiese 
words  he  pressed  his  hand  against  his  side,  addiu-, 
"()  this  hard  lump!" 

"It  is  all  through  leaving  „ll'    drink,"    replied 
the    tavern-keeper.       '-Some    good    drink    will    take 
away  your  lump.      If  you  are  fool  enough  to  keep  from 
taking  a  little  good  liipior  your  lump   will   get  bigger, 
I  and  very  likely  you'll   be  having  a  hard  lump  at  your 

*»ther  side." 

"True!  true!  old  boy,"  with  a  hearty  laugh, 
resj.(.nde(|  the  merry  tar,  as  he  briskly  drew  out  a 
well-Hlled  poeket-book  from  his  po(dvet,  and  hehl  it 
uj)  to  the  tavern-keeper's  gaze.  -This  is  my  hard 
lum]).  Vou  are  right  in  saying  that  if  I  drink  my 
lump  will  go  away,  and  if  I  stick  to  temperance  I 
shall  have  a  bigger  lump,  (iood-by  to  you,  lamllord. 
By  (Jod's  help,  I'll  try  and  keep  out  of  your  net,  and 
try  and  get  a  lumj)  at  both  sides." 

A  judge  charging  a  jury  had  occasion  to  make 
use  of  the  words  mortgagor  and  mortgagee.  The 
foreman  of  the  jury  asked  the  learned  judge  to  ex})lain 
the  meaning  of  those  word>,  candidly  confessing  he 
did  not  know  their  import.  His  lordship  facetiously 
cxpiaine<|  them  thus: 

"  I  nod  to  you,  you  notice  nie  ; 
I'm  llic  iiod-or,  you  arc  tlic  iiod-ee." 

Leezii — "Dear  n\i\  Hetty,  an'  is't  true  what  I 
hear,  that  ye're  (o  be  married  next  week?"  Bettv— 
"  Tweel  I    wat.    woman,  an'   there's  nae  lee  aboot    it. 


V2H 


rin:  odd  man  and  iiiis  odditiks. 


Ye  sec.  Lcozie.  a   mairs  an   unco    handy  tliinu-  to  hae 
al)oot  a  hooso."" 

A  (•o(|ii(>tto  is  said  to  he  a  })ert'o('t  incai'uatiou  of 
Cnpid,  as  slic  ke('[)s  lier  hean  in  a  ([uiver. 

AN  ODD   LAW. 

Accordinu;  to  the  Now  York  Trihiiiic,  an  iinre- 
pcak'd  hiw  of  New  Jorscy,  i)assed  whiU>  the  State  was 
a  Hiitisli  colony,  reads  as  follows:  ••That  all  women, 
of  whatever  de<iree,  ago,  rank  or  profession,  whether 
vii'ii'ins,  maids  or  widows,  who  shall  after  this  act  im- 
|)oso  ujjon,  seduce  and  betray  into  matrimony  any  of 
his  Maj(>sty's  sid)jects  by  virtue  of  scents,  cosmetics, 
washes,  paints,  artificial  tooth.  fals(>  hair  or  high, 
heeled  >hoos.  shall  incur  tlu>  penalty  of  thi>  law  now  in 
forct' ao-ainst  witchcraft  and  liki'  misdomoanoi's." 

'■  You  may  speak,"  said  a  fond  molher.  '■  about 
people  luivinii'  strenti'th  ol'  nund,  but  when  it  comes  t(v 
the  -tren^'th  of  dmi't  iiiiiid,  niv  son  William  surj)assos 
aii\bodv  1  know."" 


A    imddm;-    i;v    i.(»i:i)   l;^  i;<)N. 

I  aiii  imt  ill  youtli,  nor  in  iiiuiiIu»ihI  iior  ■•■u.c. 

Hill  ill  iiiraiicy  ever  am  know  n  ; 
I  am  a  straiiticr  alike  to  llie  t'luil  and  tiie  sa.Lif, 
Ami  tlioiiiiii  I'm  (li'-tiiinui^liril  in  liistoryV  iianc 

I  am  always  izrcalest  alone. 

I  am  iiol.  in  the  earth,  nor  tin'  sun,  nor  the  moon  ; 

Voti  may  search  all  the  sky-- I'm  not  liiere  : 
In  tile  morning' anil  eveiiinn',  thoiiLili  not  in  llie  noon, 
Voii  may  plainly  perceive  me.  for,  like  a  liallooii, 

1  am  midway  suspinded  in  air. 


()I)1»S    AND    r.NI>>. 


1-2 !» 


I  :im  iilw.'iys  ill  riclios.  ;mil  yd  f  :iiii  tolil, 

WcjiUli  iic'ci'  (lid  my  iifcsciicc  dcsiiT  ; 
I  dwell  with  the  miser,  tiioi.uli  not  with  his  uold, 
And  sometimes  I  •>tiiiid  in  iiis  cliimiiey  so  cnld, 

Thouiih  I  siTve  MS  ;i  |):irt  (>!'  liis  tire. 

I  am  not  in  politicid  lite. 

In  my  Ml)seiiee  no  iiinu'dom  can  he  : 
And  they  say  tiiei'e  ean  neit  lier  l)i'  tViendship  nor  si  I'ile 
No  one  can  li\c  single,  no  one  tai<e  a  wile, 

Withoiil  intei'l'eriiiu'  witii  me. 

My  hrelliren  aic  many,  and  ot'tlie  wiioie  race 

Not  one  i-    more  slemh'i'  and  tali  ; 
And  tiioii.^h  not  tlie  eldesi.  I  hold  tlie  hrst  place. 
And  even  in  dishonof.  despair  and  disiiraee, 

I  holdjy  appear  in  them  all. 

Thoniih  (li.sease  may  possess  me.  and  sickness  and  pain. 

I  am  nevei-  in  sorrow  and  iiloom  : 
'I'honiih  in  wit  and  in  wisdom  1  eiinaliy  reiiiii, 
I'm  tiieiieaiM  of  all  sin.  and  have  lived  lonu' in  vain, 

1  ne'er  shall  he  I'onnd  in  the  tond)  I 

ANSWi;!!. 

I've  read  Lord  Uyron's  famous  riddli-  o'(  r. 
Wiiichdoth  display  much  wit  inid  shinini;'  lore: 
And  as  1  read,  the  answer  did  imply 
To  he  no  othei'  than  t  he  leltei'  I. 

The  well-known  Henry  Krskine  once  met  an  ae- 
»Hiaint:iiicc.  a  hafi'ister,  who  dealt  in  liai<l  words  an<l 
eirciiinloentoi'v  sentences.  Pcrceivinu'  that  his  anUl(\«! 
were  tied  up  with  a  silk  handkei'ehiel'.  I'j'skine  asked 
the  etmse.  "  Why.  my  deaf  sir,"  tinsweted  the 
wofdy  lawyer."  I  wtis  taking  a  I'omantie  raml)le  in 
tny  hrotlu'i's  unninds.  when,  coming  to  a  <>ate,  I  had  to 
<'liml)  over  it .  hy  which  1  eame  in  eoiilaet  with  the 
iirst    l):if.  and   have  ufazed   the  epidernds  ol'  the  skin. 


-*iif*--<tte" 


i;}») 


Tin:    ODD    MAN     AND     MIS    ODDITIIOS. 


tlu'  iU'cidt'iit  hniiL;-  MttciidcM  witli  a  sliuiit  cxtrin'Msation 


it  1)1(1(1(1. 


1)11    iii:n- 


ihaiik 


voiir  lii('k\'  stars,      I'c 


|)lic(l  Hrskiiic.  that  your  hrollici's  uatt'  was  not  sd 
lol'tv  as  \()iir  styK'.  or  you  must  have  hrokcii  your 
nrck."" 

A  Dutcliiiian's  'rcnipcraucc  Lecture.  —  I  shall  tell 
how  ii  wa.-:  I  (li'auk  uiy  lai^ir  ;  dm  1  put  uniic  hand 
on  miuc  head,  dcrc  vas  ono  pain:  den  I  put  uuwv 
hand  on  niiiu'  liodw  and  dcir  \\a<  anudcr  pain  :  den    I 

po(d<('t .  and    t  iicrc  was  noldinu'. 


iiui-  iiiv  hand  in    iiiiiic 


Now  Arir  is  IK 


\-  \as   al 


^(i  I   piu'  niKi  do  dt'inpcraiMH'  hccplcs 
pain  in  ndiic    head,  and   do    jiain  in   nunc  l)o(i 
i;diic  awaw      1  |inl  ni\'  hand  on  nnn(    pocket,  and    dci'c 

So     I     slay     nnl    dc    dcnipcraiicc 


wa-    iwcutv    dollar 


OCClllCS. 


Mi 


Ion.  when 


s\ini)al  in/cd   with    on    heinu'    hlind 


from  the  point  of  \iew  that  he  could    not    sec  his  wife 


rt 


plied  ••  'I'hat    he  would    that    he    were  deal'    as  well."' 
••lu'l'orc    we   married.""     -aid    lie.    "she     used    to 


av  '  l)\  -hve      so   sw  cv 


t  Iv    a-    1    went    dow  n    the  step 


X 


nd  w  hat  does  she  >a\'  now  .■'      asked  a  triciid 


(). 


ju>t  liie  >aine      •  Iniy.    I)U\- 


(  ).    I    see  ;    she  exer- 


cises a  dilVercnl  .-pell  over  you  now." 

Loi'd  Nelson,  when  a  hoy.  hciiii:'  on  a  visit  at  his 
auiit"s.  went  hunliuL!'  one  day  and  did  not  return  till 
alter  dark.  The  ^dod  lady,  iniich  alannccj,  scolded 
him  severely,  sayihii':  "  I  wonder  fear  did  not  di'ive 
\-oii  home."  "I'\'arl"'  replied  the  hoy;  "I  don't 
know  him." 

A  dyintr  West  India  pliniter,  «i'roaiiiii^'  to  hi» 
favorite  servant,  siiriie(i  out:      "All.  Samho,  I  am  ^o- 


'■.**«#i|iHP»  "'TVBfW'  ^WH 


<»[)i)s   AM)    i;ni>s. 


131 


n),L:'   :i    loiiu'    j..iinu'V.""      ■•  Never  mind,    uiassii.""  siid 
the  iie-r...  (•(.iiM)!iiiL;lv.  ••  it  am  all  dc  way  down  lidl." 

'^  '^i''  '^- :•  '-i'' l"i';i"r!iat.--(;inrirv  a  licjcnali/.e 
•'  '"'•  •'""  =""'  '''I"'!'  i>  li''-  •■..nsccratc  it  with  M.Icun 
r<'i'iii>  an<l  penalties,  and  al'ler  all.  it"s  nolldni;'  l;Mt  a 
'"'■  ''  '■"•■-  ill*'  liiii'l  :  corriipls  the  jieople  like  ;,nv 
<'lii«i'  !i<'.  :iiid  hv  and  l.y  the  w  Idle  li-lii.  n[  ( iodV  trnth 
shine.-  ihruu-li  it  and  shnw>  it   to  he  a  lie. 

A  iii'w  prixMi  ehaplain  wa>  recently  appointed  in 
:i  -vrtain  town  in  Seotland.      He  \\a<  a  man  who  -reatly 

liia^^ldliiMl  hi.-  oliiee  and  on  .iiierin-'  one  ol'  the  eeljs 
""  I"-  'ii'-l  I'oniid  of  iii-pretii.n.  hr.  with  i^reat  pom- 
po-iiy,  i  hn,-  addre.--r.|  the  pii-onci'  who  oeeiipied  it: 
Well.  -ii\  (In  yun  know  w  ho  I  am  ?""  ••  No.  .<ir  :  iioi' 
'  'liiiiia  I'aiv  I"  \va>  ihe  mmeii  dani  ivply  :  hnt  the 
''i'iiiiiii:il  -ffim'd  a  liiile  I'oiicili.aiory  a  few  ndniite.< 
•••ll''i'\\;ii<i-,  and  added:  •■  W'eel.  I  hae  heard  o"  ye 
'"'l'"i'<'-'"  ■■  And  what  did  yon  hear?""  empiired  (he 
rhaplain.  hi-  eiirio-ity  -cilin-'  the  hetter  of  Jijs 
'li.^'iiiiv.  •■  U'eel.  I  heard  that  the  la.-l  Iwa  kirks  ye 
\\:i>  ill  yo  preached  tJii'in  liailli  empty,  liul  ve'lliio 
•ill"!  11  siK'li  an  ea-y  matter  to  do  the  same  wi"  this 
.ille." 

Two  -oldier-  layheneath  their  l)laid<ets.  looking' 
ii|>  at  the  -tar-.  Says  Jack:  •■What  made  yon  n-,, 
into  the  army.  'I'om?""  ••Well,"  replied  Tom.  ••  I 
I'iid  no  wife  and  I  loved  war.  -lack,  so  I  went.  Wluit 
made  you  '^n'!"  ••  \V(dl.""  returned  .lack,  ••  I  had  a 
wift',  and  I  loved  peace.  Tom,  so  I  Went." 


132  Tin:  ()i>i)  MAN   AM)  Ills  <)i)i»i'rii:s. 

sTi;iKi:s. 

Strikes  arc  ([uitc  i)r()p('r,  unly  strike  i-iuiit  ; 
Strike  to  some  purpose,  hut  not  tor  a  ti^lit  ; 
Strike  I'or  xour  nianiiood,  t'oi'  lioiior  ami  tame  ; 
Stiike  riuiit   and  lelt,  till  vmi  win  a  Lino:!  iiaiue  ; 
SM'ike  I'or  your  t'reedoiu  tVoiu  all  tlia;  is  \  ile  ; 
Strike  olT  couipatiioiis  who  often  iieii'uile  ; 
Strike  wilh  the  hammer,  the  sledu'e  and  tiie  axe  : 
Strike  oil'  had  hal)its  with  burdensome  ta.\  ; 
Siriive  out  unaided,  depend  on  no  other  ; 
Sfi'il\e  without  u'loves  and  your  foolishness  smolhei'  ; 
Strike  oil'  the  fettei's  ot    fashion  and  pride  ; 
Strike  where  'tis  liest.hul  let   Wisdom  deeide  ; 
Strike  a  nood  lilow  while  the  iron  is  hoi  ; 
Strike,  keep  striking  till  you  hit  Ihe  liu'hl  spot. 

Dl!.      IVMMONS     ON      l*l!i:\(  IIIN(i.     -A      ViUlllL:'     IIUIII 

Iii'viuii'  proiu'lu'tl  for  the  (lo('t(H'  one  (l;i\-.  was  anxious 
to  ^'et  a  word  of  applause  for  his  hilxir  id'  love.  The 
urave  (htetor  was  silent,  did  not  inti'oijuee  the  suhjeet. 
and  the  youn,^'  man  was  ohlincd  to  hail  the  hook  for 
hiiu.  ••  i  hope.  sir.  I  did  not  weary  y(uir  people  hv 
the  liMiu'th  of  uiy  sermon  t(>-(hiy.""  ■"  No.  sii'.  not  at 
all  ;  nor  l>y  the  depth,  eitlivr."  Lastly,  tlu'  younu' 
man  was  silent. 

.\  lireinan's  toast:  "'rhe  ladies  the  (n\\y  ineeii- 
diai'ii's  who  kindle  a  llanu'  which  water  will  not  e\- 
tinii'iiish."' 

A  Ki:i;n  IJki'I.y.  .lohn  Wesley,  in  a  laiiic 
party,  had  Iteeii  inaintaininu'.  with  liical  earnesinesr^. 
the  <lo('lrine  that  vo.\  pnptili  vox  Dei  auiiinst  his  sis- 
ter. wJKtse  talents  weic  lud  unworthy  ol  the  {'aiidly  to 
which  she  Itelonju'ccl.  \\  hist  the  preacher,  to  pnt  an 
ciiil  to  the  controversy,  put  his  ai'iiiinieiit   in  the  shape 


m  fc*a 


"m^- 


■■•mie,. 


ODDS    AND    i;NDS. 


1.S8 


<ir  i!  (lictuni.  and  said:  ••  1  tell  yoii.  sistci'.  the  voicr 
of  the  people  i>  the  voice  ol'  (iod.'"  "  ^'e>."*  she  re- 
plie.l.  mildly,  --it  cried  •('riicil'v  him!  cniciry  him!"" 
A   moi'e  admirahle  answer  was   perhaps  never  uiven. 

("iiriMii  Si.!;i:n;i;s.  — ••  M(,w  shamet'iil  it  is  that 
yon  shonld  fail  asleep,"  said  a  dnll  pi'eaclier  to  his 
<lrowsy  andience.  ••  while  that  |»oor  crealinc  "■—point- 
ing: to  an  idi(»i  who  >lood  near  iiim.  starinu'  at  him — 
"  is  both  awake  an<l  attentive."  ••  Perhaps,  sir.""  I'e- 
plied  the  fool.  •'  1  should  have  been  asleep,  too.  if  I 
had  not  Ix  en  an  idiot. "" 

><rit  ciiAiM.i^s  w  i:'iiii;i!i;i,i.  ani>  rm:  wksi.iivans. 

'•The  Wesleyans.'"  said  Sir  ( 'harles  one  (hiy .  as 
he  had  occasion  to  allude  to  ihem  in  the  case  of  La<lv 
llewley"s  I'harity.  •"  W'e.-leyan  Metluidists.  1  lielieve 
they  are  called,  are  di>tin,i:iiishe(|  hy  holdin;.;'  the  doc- 
trine of  election."  etc.  Sonic  one  joLlli'cd  Sir  ('harles. 
"<Mi.  yes.""  he  repeated.  "•  the  doctrine  of  election."" 
I  Lan,i:hler. )  lie  was  joHLi't'd  aiiain.  ■•  Yes.  \'es."" 
added  Sir  ('harlo  aiiain,  "yon  art'  riijhi  the  doc- 
trine oj'  election.""  Sir  ('harles  was  then  told  andihiv 
that  he  mnst  rexcrse  his  position.  "  NN'ell.  then."' 
said  he.  '•  ha\t'  it  which  way  yon  please.  If  not 
elected  tliey  onLlht  |o  he.  for  tlie\  are  the  liesi  people 
amoni:'  us. 

AN    i^\)\)    Acr. 

ll  is  recordeil  that  hy  an  ancient  act  of  the  'j-ood 
(dd  Scottish  parlianieiil.  passed  in  the  vv'x^iw  of  Mar- 
"ai'ct.  in  the  \-car  ahoiit   Ti^-s.  it  was 


^PI,|Mit, 


i:^4 


rili:    ODD    MAN    AND    II!S    ODDITir.,- 


OnDKin'r,  That  (luriiii:'  ye  vv'iisn  oT  licr  majcst  hlcssit  iiia- 
■  ji'stie,  ilka  inaidcii  ladcc  of  liaitli  liiuli  and  lev  estate,  sliall 
liae  lil)erty  to  ^peak  to  ye  man  she  likes.  Cif  he  icluses  to 
take  hei'  to  lie  his  wife,  he  siiall  l)e  niuiet  ii!  the  sum  of  an 
hundred  jiunds.  oi'  less,  as  his  estail  may  )),■,  e\ee|)i  and  al- 
ways, y:\\'  he  can  make  i!  a|t])eartliat  he  is  heti'oliiit  to  anothei- 
woman  :  then  he  shall  Ix'  free. 

Tiir;   Ai,i'ii.\i!i:r. 

Tlu'  iW(Mit_v-si\  letters  (d'tlic  iilplmlud  in;iy  he  tfaiis- 
]h>svi\  (iL>4.44.s.401.7o;).2;)i».;)(i(l.()()i)  times.  If  all  the 
tfiiiispositioiis  were  printed  they  would  make  a  pile  of 
hooks  ;i  thousand  feet  liiuh  ami  covei'iuLi'  ten  i\i-yv>  oj' 
lifoiiml. 

STi;i(   I'l.V     l,l(i.M,    IJl'i.A  rioNS. 

A  Jew.  speakinii'  of  a  youuu'  man  a^  hi^  son-in- 
law,  was  acciiM'd  (d'  niisleadinn'  the  e(Uii't.  since  the 
_V(»uiiii'  man  wa>  really  his  .-on.  Mose.-.  however,  pci- 
sistcM  that  the  name  he  put  to  the  relationship  was  the 
I'iiiht  oiu'.  and  addre.-sinii'  the  hcncli.  ,-ai<l  :  ••  I  wa.-  in 
.Vinsti'i'<laiu  two  yeai's  and  I  hrce-ipmi'tcr>  :  when  4 
<''Mnc  honn'  I  tinds  this  lad.  Now.  ihi'  law  iddi-v>  nu' 
t"  inainlain  him.  and  con^'ciueiitly  he  is  uiv  x.n-in- 
hiw.""  •■\\'(dl.'"  said  L(wd  Man>lield.  ••that  i,-  the 
ht'st  dclinilion  of  a  son-in-law    I  ever  Md  heard."" 

An  ulVendcr.  heinu'  arrcslcd  and  Itrtui^^ht  hd'ore  a 
nitiii'istrati'  on  a  petty  olTeuce,  was  thus  addressed  hv 
the  latter:  ".Mi.  sir.  I  sec  what  you  arc  I  .■.ceihc 
i'".i:'ii<'  ill  yonrl'MccI""  '•  Indeed,  your  worship."' said 
the  prisoiu'i'.  "I  didn"t  know  h(d'orc  thill  mv  I'mcc  wa< 
51  Inokinu-ii'hiss. "" 

In  IS,').')  .lohn  Howard  Payne  s|)ent  so  r.c  time  in 
(III'  South,  and  I'l  rined  the  acipiiiintaiicc  (d'  ii  diiiiuiitn- 


/■v^V^'^'    ^''"'i. 


/^- 


(»i)l)S    AND     1:N1)S. 


.)•) 


•of  Jiidii'c  Siniiiicl  (iooilc.  {)['  ^[()iit;2(MiU'i'v.  Ala.  An 
old  autoLi'i'Mitli  alhiiiii  of  hers,  imw  in  |)(tssc>>i(tn  of  lici' 
son.  ('ont!iin>  the  rollowini:'  lines  in  Pavncs  liand- 
wi'ilinLi',  oN'iT  his  o,,n  siiinaturc  : 

"  L;i(ly,  your  iiniiu',  il'  iiinlcrslooil. 

F,\|)liiiiis  your  imlurc  to  ;i  Icttci'  : 
And  may  y<iu  iicNcr  cliniiui'  IVinn  (luodc, 

I  iilfss,  it'  i)(iv>ilil(',  til  hctlcr." 

( )n  the  next  paLi'e  is  a  I'esponse.  wfilteii  hy  .Mii'a- 
heaii  I).  Lamar,  afterwaid  l*fe>ideiit  ol'  the  •"Lone 
Star  Ivepiihlic"  n\'  Texas.      It  fiin>  as  I'olldws  : 

I  ani  (■(intent   with  licinu'  <  ieede  : 
'I'd  aim  at  'nl/cr  iniL^iit  he  vain  ; 
lint  it'  1  (In,  'tis  nndcrstddd. 

\Vliat'ci' the  cause— it  i~- net   I'ayiie. 
Aim!  now  to  eonie  lo  llie  di'«eit.--i(iii  alxutt  the  va.-e 
wldeli  staiuU  ain(tnL;  tlie  fail'  ladies  : 

'rile  Western  one  t'rnni  a  nameless  place 
IWusiiinuly  said,   "Wlial  a  Insclv    \ase." 

Tlii-  W'estei'ii  |irononneiation   did  not  exactly  siiil 
the  paii\'  I'ldni  New  ^'(U■k.  sd  she  chipped  in  : 
Deftly  lildiiiu  reiu'ddl  in  pi'aisc. 
She  cries,   ""ri-   indeed  a  Idvely   va/.e." 

The  (hdeiiatioii  ffoin  I'eiin-y l\ania  ohjectetl.  The 
pi'onniM'iatioii  (d'  l!ie  word  disa^i'ee(l  with  lhe(,>nakei' 
( 'it\'  nuiidei\.  foi'  slh'. 

With  eiinseidusness  (if  iwii  ur.'indpiipns, 
lAclainis,  "It   is  (piite  a  'dVel\    \ahs" 

".ItdV."'  (d'  eoni'se.  lets  1  lu'  Host  on  nii'j  have  the  last 
Wdi'd.       lie  knows  that    diset'etioli    is    the  hettef  part  (d' 
valor,  and  he  lives  in  llosion.     This  ^irl  says  : 
'■  1  (lid  net  catch  youi'  remark,  iiecause 
I  was  Sd  enlraiiced  w  itii  thai  chartniiiL;'  vaws." 


"mm 


136 


TIFK    ODD    MAN    AND    IDS    ODDITIHS. 


All  of  which  is  very  odd  and  cxli-ciiicly  ruiiiiy,  James 
JeH'ry,  fur  no  one  knows  hetler  than  the  Pioston  man 
that  the  real  pronunciation  is  a  jui:-. 

i{i:v.   KonKur   iiai.i,. 

The   celehrated   preacher,    who   believed    in   the  virtue 

of  a  little  nonsense  now  and  then,  was  once  reproached 

l>y  a  dull  brother  of  the  (doth  with  the  ren.ark  :    "How 

can  you    who  preacdies   in  the  pnli)it  as  yon  do.  talk  in 

su(di  a  jokinu',  triflinii manner.""       "There,    hntther." 

said   y\v.    Hall,    "is   the   diiVei-ence   hetwt'cn    us:    von 

talk    youi-    nonsense    in  the  pulpit — 1  talk  mine  out  of 

it-" 

DiDi:. 

"Kxcuse  me.  Miss  Sharpe.  1  had  (piite  fiu'L;-ott(Mi 
yii-  I  !iin  so  altsenl-uiinded.  d(»n"t  cher  know." 
Miss  Sharp — "  ^'es.  I  have  noticed  the  altsence  of 
mind." 

"  is  the  tide  u'oiui:'  out  ?  "  said  a  sailor  to  a  iicntle- 
man  who  was  |iassinii'  a  house  where  a  marriage  had 
just  'aken  jilace. 

The  reason  why  the  word  "  honeynitton  "  is  onlv 
aj)plie(l  t(t  married  persons  is  pi-ol»ahly  because  the 
moon  onlv  alTects  the  tie(l. 


\V(»MAN     INri.lKNCi:. 

"  Tlicy  t.'ilk  iitioiit  M  wdinatrs  splicrc, 
.Vs  tluiutfli  il  hiid  ii  liiiiit. 
There's  not  ii  plttce  in  cMrlli  or  licavcii. 
There's  not  ;i  tjisk  of  nianUiiid  given, 
Tlicre's  Mol  11  Itlessiiin'  •"'  n  woe, 
There's  not  a  wliisper,  yes  or  no, 


ODDS    AND    i;NDS. 


187 


'I'licrc's  lint  ;i  lite,  or  death,  or  hirtli. 
That  lias  a  feather's  weiizlit  of  worth 
Willioiit  a  woman  in  it." 

The  Hi'V.  Kowhiiid  Hill  snid  of  ;i  iiiiiii  who  knew 
the  tnitli.  1)111  scciucd  jil'raid  to  pi'ciU'h  its  fulliicss  : 
■•  He  j)i-(':u'ht's  the  truth  ;is  ;i  donkey  iiiiiiiihh'S  ;i  thistle 
—  very  ejuitiously."" 

NO   i;i:iMj;(rioNs  on   \vasiiin(;i'on. 

All  iiiubitioiis  iiiiiu  heinti'  eleete<l  to  a  Western 
K'Lli?^l:iture  [ireparcMJ  with  ureal  earo  a  speech  which  he 
thoiiii'ht  would  inij)ress  his  colleagues  and  |tlea>e  his 
constituents.  lie  waited  for  a  littiiiu'  occasion,  and 
then,  risiii!^'.  heiiaii  : 

"Mr.  Speaker — Wlieii  I  rellcet  on  llie  ciiaracler  of  (Jeneral 
Washington—"  and  came  to  a  sud(h'n  stop.  Heiiimiinii- auaiii, 
he  >aid  : 

"  .Mr.  Speaker  — Wlieii  1  rellcet  on  Ihc  cliaractcr  of  (Jeiieral 
WasliiiiLilon  -"  and  auain  tiie  tailurc  of  Ids  memory  lirouglit 
him  to  a  sudih'ti  liait. 

Kor  the  thii'd  lime  he  attempted  to  uo  on,  liut  no  further 
th;ui  "W'asliiiiLrton." 

"  I  rise  to  a  point  of  order,  Mr.  Speaker  !  "  e.velaimed  a  wan'- 
ii'isii  memlii'r,  "  It  is  not  in  orih'r  for  a  niemher  of  this  liouse 
to  lie  makiiiii'  relleetioiis  on  liic  ciiaraeler  of  (ieiicral  Wash- 
iiiiitoii." 

This  siiot  hidULilil  down  the  liouse  and  tiie  foructful 
niemlier, 

.\  uieddjesoinc  old  woman  was  sneerinu' at  a  yoiuiir 
inother's  iiwkwardiiess  with  her  inraiit.  aiul  said  :  "I 
(U'clarc.  a  \\<»iiiau  never  oiiiiht  to  have  a  baby  uiiU'ss 
she  knows  !\ow  to  hold  it."  "Ntu'  a  tongue  either"  wa?^ 
till'  (|iiict  ri'ioindcr. 


^''"  ."^  'W    W:&' 


■mm' 


1  ;}s 


Till:    ODD    MAN    AND    Ills    ODDITIKS 


AN     ODD     I'Ali:    ol'     S('ALi:s. 

A  niDiik,  when  his  rites  sncrcdoial  was  o'er, 

111  till'  (1(^)111  ol'  his  cell,  with  its  stdiic-cDVcivd  tionr. 

ivcsisniiiu'  to  thouiiiit  liis  chiiiu'i'ical  luviiii. 

Oiicc  loi'iiicd  a  coiilrivaiicc  '.vc  mow  shall  explain  ; 

Hut  whether  In  iiianic.  or  alehemv's  powers, 

A\  e  know  not  -indeed,  'tis  no  luisiiiess  of  ours. 

Perhaps  it  was  only  hy  patience  and  care. 

At  leasl,  that  he  hrouiilit  his  invention  to  hear. 

In  youth  'twas  projected,  hut  years  stole  away. 

And  ere  'twas  coiniiletc  he  was  w  linkled  and  >;ray  ; 

l>ut  success  is  assured,  unless  eiierux    fails. 

And  al  h'liuth  he  produced  tho.se  reniark:!l)le  scales, 

"  What   were  they  ?"  you  ask  ;  you  shall  presently  see  ; 

Those  scales  were  not  made  to  weiuh  suii'ar  and  tea. 

<)  no.  lor  such  propcrlies  >\()iidrous  had  ihev. 

That  (pialities,  fci'linu's,  and  ihouiihls  they  could  uei-h, 

'I'o.uelher  with  articles  small  or  immense. 

l'"'rom  mountains  or  ])laiiets  to  atoms  of  >ense. 

Xauiiht  was  iheri'so  bulky,  liul  Ihei-c  it  co-ild  lay. 

And  nauiiht  so  ethereal  luit    ihere  it  would  slay  ; 

And  nauiiht  so  I'eliiciani  hut  in  it  nuiNt   no — 

All  which  sonu'  examples  more  plainly  may  show. 

'I'lic  llrsi  thiiin-  he  weighed  was  the  iie.id  of  \  oltaire. 

Which  i-etained  all  tlic  w  il  that  had  e\ci-  been  Ihere. 

Asa  weii>lil  he  threw  in  a  loi'ii  scrap  of  a  li'af 

(.'ontaininu-  the  prayer  of  the  peiiiteni  thief. 

\\  hen  the  skull  lose  aloft  with  so  sudden  a  si)ell 

That  it  bounced  like  a  ball  on  the  roof  of  the  cell. 

One  time  he  put  in  Alexander  the  (Jreat, 

"Willi  a  ii-armeni  that  Dorcas  had  made  for  a  weight. 

And  tiiouii'h  clad  in  i.rmor  from  sandal  to  crown. 

The  hero  rose  up  and  the  li'arment  went  down, 

A  lonu'  row  of  Mlms-hoiises,  amply  endowed 

Hy  a  well-esleemed  Pharisee,  busy  and  proud. 

Next  loaded  the  scale  while  the  other  was  prest. 

I>y  those  mites  the  jioor  widow  dropi  into  the  chest  ; 


W^S^ 


Tin:  ODD  s(  Aij;s. 


189 


rp  llcw  llic  ciulowiiiciits,  lint  wciiiiiiiiLi'  an  (lUiicc, 

And  down,  down,  the    rai'tliinii-Wdrtli  cainc   with  a  bounce. 

Again  Iii'  pcrt'ornicd  an  cxpcrinicnt  fare  ; 

A  inoni<.  with  austerities,  iilccdinu-  and  liarc. 

Cliinlicd  into  one  sfjik-  :   in  other  was  laid 

The  heart  of  our  Howard,  now  partly  deeayeil. 

When  he  found  vviih  surprise  that  the  whole  of  his   brother 

W'eiii'hed  less,  iiy  some  itounds.  th.an  the  liit  of  the  other. 

I>y  furlhei'  e.xiterinieiits — no  in.ilter  how  — 

lie  found  that  leii  ehariois  wciiihed  less  ili;in  one  ])louoii 

A  sword,  with  iiilt  trappiniis,  rose  u]t  in  the  scale. 

'I'houiih  balanced  by  only  ;i  ten-penny  nail. 

A  shield  and  a  helmet,  a  bucklei-  and  spear, 

NN'eiiihed   less  than  a  widow's  unei'ysl.ali/ed  tear, 

A  lord  .'Hid  a  lady  went   up  in  fidl  s.ail. 

When  a  lice  ch.aneed  to  liu'lit  on  the  oppnsiti   scale. 

Ten  (hiclors,  ten  lawyei's,  two  conrtici's.  one  eai'l. 

Tell  councilloi's'  wiu's  lull  of  powder  and  cui'l. 

All  heaped  in  one  balance,  ;Uid  sw  iiojiiiL;'  I'l-oin  thence, 

Weiu'iied  le-.s  than  a  few   iii'idiiN  of  '  andoi'  and  sense. 

A  first  water  ili.aniond.  with  bi'illian;>  Iteuirt , 

Th;ui  one  liood  potato  just  washed  from  the  dirt  ; 

Yet,  not  mountains  of  silver  and  u'old  would  sutlice. 

One  jiearl  to  out  w  eiuh  — 't  w  as  the  I'eaii  of  (Jreat  I'l'ici'. 

L;i>t  of  all,  the  w  liolc  woiid  was  bow  led  bi'  at  the  ur.ate. 

With  the  soul  of  a  bcLiiiar  to  serve  for  :i  weiu-hl, 

NVhen  the  former  sprung-  up  with  so  .strong  .a  reiiulV 

Tlnit  it  m:idc  a  vas'   I'etit  and  escape(l  at  the  roof, 

W  hen  balanced  in  air  it  ascended  on  liiLih. 

And  sailed  up  aloft,  a  balooii  in  tiie  sky  ; 

While  the  scale  with  a  soul  in  so  mightily  fell. 

That  it   jerked  the  philoso|iiie!'  out  of  his  cell. 

Mol!  \i,. 

Dear  reader,  if  e'er  self-deception  prevails, 
W'c  pray  yon  to  try  those  extraordinary  scjiles  ; 
Hut  if  tiiey  are  lost  in  the  ruins  around, 
IVl'iiaps  a  good  substitute  then  may  be  t'ound. 


mc' 


l-^<'  rm:  odd  man   and  his  odditids. 

r.cl  judgment  :m(l  ciinsciciicc  in  circles  he  cut, 
'I'o  wliicli  strings  of  tiiought  may  l)f  carefully  put. 
[.et  tiicsc  he  made  even,  with  caution  extreme, 
And  impartiality  serve  as  a  beam. 
Then  hiing  those  actions  which  jiride  over-rates, 
-Vud  tear  u])  your  niniives  in  l)its  for  the  weights. 

Tin:   itKi.KMors  (  ai;d   im,  \yi;i:. 

A  priviiti'  sdld'hT  \)\  till'  iKiiiu'  of  Klchard  I^ce 
wjis  tiikcii  l)croi-('  the  uiau-istiiitc  oi*  (ilastiow  for  i)lav- 
iuti  cai-'ls  in  cliiirch  diirini;-  divine  .service,  the  ac- 
count (.;  wliicli  is  njvcn  in  an  l^nglisli  joiifiial  : 

A  .'-eri^-eant  coiiiinaiidcvl  the  <old:ei'.<  a.l  thecluirch. 
and  wlieii  the  parson  read  the  |»i'ayef.  he  took  his  text, 
'["his  soldii'i-  liad  lU'ither  llihU'  nor  i)rayerd)ook.  hut 
liullini:'  out  a  pack  i«t'  card.-  he  spread  them  hefore 
him.  lie  first  hioked  at  oiu',  then  at  another.  The 
st'rii'eant  oi'  the  com|tany  saw  him  and  said  :  •■  IJichard, 
])Ut  up  the  cards  :    tin.-  is  n(>  phiei-  for  them.'" 

'•  Never  mind  tluit.'"  said  ITichard. 

AN'hen  the  x'rvices  were  o\er  the  coiistahh'  took 
Kiehard  prisoner,  and.  hi'ought    him  hel'ore  the  Mavor. 

••Well.""  .-ays  the  .Mayor,  '-what  have  vou 
hroiiMiit  the  soldier  here  for?  '" 

■•  l"'oi'  playing'  cards  in  the  elinrch.'" 

••Well,  soldier,  what  have  von  t(»  >a\'  for  voiir- 
.<elf?"" 

•'  Much,  .^ir.   1  hope."' 

*'  N'ery  good:   if  not.  I  will  puidsii  you."'' 

'•I  have  heen,""  said  the  s(ddier.  "altout  six 
weeks  on  the  uuirch.  I  have  neither  IJihle  nor  hook 
of  common  prayer  :  I  have  nothing  hut  a  pack  of 
cai'ds,  and    1  hope  to  show  your  worship  of  the  juiritv 


(»I)1)^    AM>    i:Ni»-. 


1-n 


,,f   my  int^'iitiuns.""      Tlim   spivudin-   the  ("inl^  lu'l'.-iv 
the  Mayor,  lie  bt'uaii  with  tlic  acf.      ••  Whm  I  sec  liu' 
:ic('  it  iviuinds  me   that    thciv   is  Imt  ..lu-  (uh\.      \\'\wu 
\    sec    the    ducf   it    iviniii.U    me   of    Father  and    S,.n. 
When  I  see  the  tray  it  remind-  me  cf  Father.  Son  and 
Holydhost.      When  I  see   the    tuur   it   rmiimls  me  ol' 
the    tunr    evangelists   that    preached.    Matthew.  Mark. 
I.uke  and  .luhn.      When  I   see  the  live  it   remind>  me 
of   the  five  Viro'ins  that    trimmed   their   himps  :   tliere 
were  ten    ..f    them.  l)Ut    Hve    were    wise  and   five  were 
t'ooli.sli.  and  were  sliut  ont.      When  I  see  tlie  six  it  re- 
minds  me   of  the  six    day>    in    whiidi   (l(»d    nuuh'  the 
heavens  and  the  eartii.  and   all   livin,-'  thin-is.      When 
[  see    the   seven    it   reminds   me  of   the   seventh    day, 
whendod   ivsted   from    the   .ureat    work   wliicdi  he  had 
made.      W!i<mi    1    see    the  ei,--ht    it    reminds  me  of   the 
eiuht  ri.uhteons  persons  tliat  were  saved  when  (lod  dv- 
.<tr.)yed  the  world  hy  a  flood.      Wiien  I   see  the  nine  it 
reminds  me  of   the   nine   lepers  that   were  (deansed  l)y 
our  Savior  :   there   were    nine  out    there  who  never  re- 
turned thanks.      When  I  see   the  ten  it  reminds  me  .)f 
the  Ten  Commandnu'Uts   which    (iod    handed  down  on 
the  tal)les  of  stone.      When    I    see  the   kin.u'  it  reminds 
me  of    the  .uiH'at    Kin.-'  of    Heaven,  which  is  (iod  Al- 
mighty.     When   1  see  the   «iueen  it    reminds  me  of  the 
(^n-en  of  Sheha.  who   visited    Solomon,  for  she  was  us 
wise   a    wonuni   as   he  was  a   man.      She  hrou.uht  with 
her  Hfty   hoys  and    fifty  -in.-,  all    dressed  in  hoy's  ap- 
parel, for  Kinti' Solomon  ti)  tidl   whi(di   were   hoys  and 
which  were  uirls.     The  kin.ii    sent    for  water  to  wash. 
The  '-iris   washed    to   the   elbows  and  the  hoys  to  the 
wrists,  so  King  Solomon  told  hy  that. 


m^ 


jy 


^ 


142 


Till;    ODD    MAN    AND    HIS    oDDINIilS. 


I 


••Well,"  s:ii<l  the  Mayor,  ••you  have  (kscrihi'd 
every  cai'd  in  the  pack  ('xcei)t  one." 

••  What  is  that?"' 

■■'riic  knave.''  said  the  Mayor. 

'■  I  will  Li'ive  your  honoi'  •>.  th'seriptioii  of  that  if 
you  will  not  he  an^iry.  " 

••I  will  not."  said  the  Mayor,  ••ij'  you  will  not 
term  nu'  to  he  the  knaxc." 

••The  LiTeati'st  knave  1  know  i>  the  eonstni)]"  that 
hrouLi'ht  nie  here.  " 

••  !  do  not  know.''  said  the  Mayor.  •'  it'  he  is  the 
Liicate.-t  knave,  hut  1  know  he  is  the  L:i'eat''st  fool."' 

••NN'hen  I  eoinit  how  many  spots  then'  are  in  a 
pack  of  cards  I  lind  three  hundred  and  sixty-tive — as 
many  da\s  as  are  in  a  yeai'.  \\'hen  I  count  the  nuiu- 
herof  cards  in  a  pack  I  tind  tiftv-two-  the  numher  of 
weeks  in  a  year.  I  tind  there  are  twelve  picture  cards 
in  a  pack,  representliuii'  the  nund»'r  of  moiUlis  in  a 
year,  and  on  countiu:^'  the  tricks  1  lind  thirtei-u.  the 
numher  of  week-  in  a  <pnirtei'.'' 

So  you  see  a  |iaek  of  carils  <erves  foi'  a  Hihle, 
tdmauae  and  prayerdiook. 


i 


I  think  that  I  have  now  shown  that  if  it  tjU<i's  all 
scu'ts  of  men  to  make  a  world,  that  (uir  world  must  he 
nearly  finished  ;  that,  in  fact,  it  m)W  presents  an  al- 
most endless  variety  of  human  eonstitntion,  human 
eharaeter  and  human  eonduet.  That  in  this  world  we 
liave  a  very  jrreat  many  odd  specimens  of  hein<i's.  each 
fillinjr  Uj)  a  certain  .<j)lu're,  and  eacli,  in  some,  way 
w<»rking  out  the  destiny  of  our  race. 


■>mmm  t^w^' 


I 


(»i)i)s  AND  i:m»> 


14S 


i 
I 


As  tliere  i>  iu>  <'IhI  U>  tin-  nddilirs  :ui<l  (rccu- 
trk'itie-  of  ••ur  tii.u-s.  I  think  ..!'  o.l.l  sayiu,us  aiul 
(lointis,  1  lUH'd  ;ul(l  ii<»  more. 

\Vi"  plainlv  sec  tliat  t<>  each  cxtivinc  \\\v  oIIut  is 
an  oddity:  that  they  arc  t..  he  f.-uud  in  all  dq-urt- 
nu-nts  of  life,  so  that  while  we  aiv  aiiui.^iii-  ourselves, 
inn.x'ently.  with  the  i.eeuliaritie>  of  otlieiv.  they  may 
he.    perhaps,    this    very    hour.  iun>.eently    lauirhln-   at 

ours. 

In  all  thi<\ve  n>ay  h'aru  ihe  ^eees^ity  of  hrollierly 
kindu.'ss.  and  to  he  sparin-  in  nur  censures  of  those 
who  diiVer  from  us.  Winter,  must,  of  eoui>e.  he  a 
mystery  to  summer:  hut  not  more  so  than  one  man  is 
toanother.  If  we  had  clearer  perceptions  of  the(lif- 
fercnces  in  each  others  teniperament>  and  dispositions, 
and  more  of  that  suhlime  ••  charity  whi<-h  thiidvcth  no 
evil,''  we  would  h.>  more  Xvw  rv  with  the  errin,--.  more 
sympathetic  with  the  nid'nrtnna'.'.  an. I  nn.re  -enerous 
to  all. 


I 
\ 


-i\ 


'■^■'::M/''fj 


"% 


THE  SAXON  RACE. 


iM;M\  i;;i    in   |-.i',    iiii     i.n^i    ii;ii;i--  m     i--;;\Kl     ".\    l:i,\.    '•»  .    il.    i i  i- . 


•«<m  i:  \\  I  i(,  (I  !  ^    <»ii  n  ionx. 

l;i\.     A.     r.M.'S-.     |l.    |i..     I..1..     i'.     i'lrshl.Ili     \\i^li\;ui     I  .'1 1 1  i « 's'    I    ..  1 1,  l;,  •. 

1 1  ■!  mill  ■■II.  I  Mil .  '  \  r-tii:i!'k;ilili-  li'M.K.  l-':ni';\  lii'islli'^  willi  11..,;;;^ 
;i  liil  ^ill|i||si'-,  I  |i:i|  w  ill  .■,p  1  \    I  hi'   s!  iiil^ii ,    (  :in    r'x   in    1  lir   l;is!    |i;ilii', 

I I  In  , ■111  run  lie  II  M\  simu'-'l  i  I  '■  I K.      I  l   will  iii:il-,  c  1  hi'  r>';iilir   I  hi  ;iix. 

Thi'ii'  1^  li;ir>llv  ;i  ili\   pii^'r  in  ilir  I !•.  " 

11-     I.I  '   Mp-'I  .  !•     I  IM       11;  -  II.  'I'    '  •!        I'l  i|;.  '-.  1  I  '.       "      \     W  ..|  k     m|     HI  1  'll     r.-.r:iri'il 

;niii  I  iri'Miiiil  \  .il  ii  rmi  iinMi  I      w.'ll  iii'.rli  r\  li:ni  ^1  •  \  ■■  "1  llir  -.I'li  ji'.-i ." 
Ill  '  .    .1.1-.    W  II  ii.    I',    li.       ■  \  \r\\   |i..|!!l    is  ,-;.-;:i:\    pi.i\.'il.      1    vvMilij    !,, 

li.iil    lliiil    ;i   ri,|i\    .MiiM    lir   |)i.-|.'  ■,|  III    ihr    liiih.l-  1. 1    .'VriA     iniiilsl.'; 

:i  ml    ill   r\  I'lv   li.'Msi-.  ■ 
I'm  I,  ■'  I  il  ..i  1  ,  'I  01  ,.iii...'      •■  I  ii,,.  .,|  III,.  .(  ,.|,il,,.,-,ii...  |..MMM.,|,  I  dr..  1.4. 'i 

c|  Is.  j  nisi  III  Ills    \rl     llili||s|lr,l    .ill    Ihls    s,|llji.c!." 

III!     "  IIm  n  1:1  ,  ■    riil'.iiil  II.      "I::!    r    si  i  ii'H  •!  inl  i.i:iiiiii  :il ,  .'■ 
Tm  I,  < '  \  \  \  III  \  N     \  !'\  \\'  I  .    I  iiriiiil...   s;i\  s  :      "  1  I    Is  .'I    w  iiiiilcrjiil   I k.' 

1;  I   \  .     .M  .    I    .     I  1    \  VV  Ks.       ■■     \    !.;i|.l,rl|  .    i|lL;,l|l|ril.     11  ,li|     I  111  i  II  I  liulv     I  II  I  I'l'.'s;  . 

illU    \..|i||hi'.       Il    i||i\.'s    \iii|     ill! Ilirl  s     liiijii    whii'li     i'li'ii'     ;s     III 

I'sc'i  |H  ,  lull  I  II  I'.  iii:;!i  ilii-  ;;i  ri|il  .'I !  .1'  ..|  lln  ;iiilliiii  s  pusi  1  jmi,,  \,,'i 
(.■rl  I  .Ml  ii  II !  I  li:i!  I  III'  1  ■■■11 1  I'll!  ill  ••■•I  is  w  i.M  siisi  :.i  II,  i|." 

1;  I  \  .    In;.    I..    I'.    |i  v  >  >    s:i\  s,      ■■  1    Iriw  liiiiinl    Ihili'li    |i|r:isiiiT   ;i  mj    I II,,. 

III  i  II  ii'.-iili  h:i  I  Ills  Im.iK.  1 1  is  w  III  In  i  hi  :i  Ii;..s|  .ii  I  n  i  :i  m  i  i;^  'i  ■■,! 
.'..lis  I  iii'iim  iin  I  in'i  ." 

!■'  I  V  .  I  III.  I'l,  1  1  ~  I  l|  1  ...  1  I  .  "  rilr  I  ll.'lllr  ,  Is  -ii  is  .i||i.  i.|  .^li.w  i  i:.j  Mill"  . 
I'sl.  iuhI  I'l"  1 1  rill  iii'ii  1  .i|  il  lie:.'  Is  1  .r.:i.|i  i..iis  :iiiil  I  In  .|iii|..;li  I'li.. 
;ii'i'li;('iii..r!i  :il     ;ii'i:ii  iii.'iil  s      i  i.hTspnsr.l     .\iili     iln-    .*iri  |.i  in  ■•    lii;.. 

ami   pl-iiiils.  ■.i\r  111   liilli-ll   \:ill|..  Ii.illi    |.i    ||||.    sliiil.-iil    ;|i,il    In    |||,.    _:i.| 

fi  ;il  riMili'i'.  \\  .'  Ii:i\  .•  ji.iiir.Ml  i,\.-r  i  in-  jlt^is  i,|  i  ,ii'  Ii,h,k  \\  ii  h  mi,i|  ,> 
than  miliiiary  |i|r;isi|.  ,•.  unl  \v  ,■  lirlirvr  iln'  .aiillinr  iii;iIm  s  ,,iii  j^s 
1  ■ ;  1  s  ' . " 

1;  I  \  ,  h::  111  I  Ki  ;  ,  .  Ivliliir  ..I  Tin-  \i'U  1  nlk  '  hrisi  1:1 11  \il  \  .ii'.il  r  s:i\  s 
III   ■  hi  s  |ii,.i^  .     ■   Till'  \  I'liiliii'  is  Ki',. Ills   iiilri  rsl  Mil;.  ' 

'III  1  r.  V  \  \  1  ;:  1.1  I  -1;  M  I  :  |  HlMi  shi'.l  I  11  1 .1  iliih  Mi .  K  Mu'l.'nnl ,  1  ihis  : ,, 
I  he  |il|lills||.  .1  Icrl  nil's  III  I  hi'  \\i-\  W  .  II.  I'ii..|r.  1,  I..  I  I.,  as  |ii||i.\\  s; 
"  W  I  I'.'Hi  hUllilN  I  i'|..iliilii  ml  lliis  \,\..rk.  '  \  r.;'..  |s;ii.,.'  \\  is 
w  ri  1 1  I'll  I'li'ai  l\  .  i-ai  rli|i|\  ;i  ihI v  i  ma  iiizlv .' 

1;  I  \  .  I  ,  \\  .  I  \  \i  laa  1  I  .  '■  1 1  Is  ..  1 1  .a  r  a  III  |ii'.:iial.  1 1  sr,.||,s  i.,  n,,.  ;  hii 
il   |iii|s|    -.aifs  i-iiii  \  |..|  mil  III  till'  ir'ihl  nl  .'\riA  I'arilii    fi'.aih  i'. 

Til  I  >  V 1 1  ;;ii  \  N  N  ii.ii  I .  I'm  iiaiii.  'Ill  ■  si  \  |..  is  |,i,.;isi  irj  .i  m|  lii'iil,  i  h.- 
ai  i-'Miiiciils  jnsiiail  nl  ln'i  ir.^   i.ar  II  I  ■'nil   as   1    i iiLai^innl   iln'V    wniiiil 

lia\  I'  hrc'li,  sri'liinil   li     h'.ir  mil    1  111'  I'  i|ir!i|s|,,|i-  In'  is  i'\  iilcli  |  |  \    sn  I, 
Mr;,     'rii"  i'lras  ;ii('  s,i   iii^ -iii.  lis    M    n  >i    ri-.  ■]  nsi  \  •.   tlim    n    ni.'ikrs 
ihr    \  I'.i.i  Isiii'l   an   lAl  iiaiii'i\    i  nirr.' •!  i  lu.   n  mk    in   Ii'ihI   'iinl   mi,' 
I  h.al   iiii;s|  allni'il  iili'iisiiir  .'iml  |iim|ii    I  n  all    v  hn    l.'ikr  a  n  iii  I  m  i  st  .  n 
liilih'  --I  inh  . 

I'.     'I'lAN.snN,     j'.s...,     >;i\s  "    Il     lllls     Mil'     '■    '1111'     In    ll-||l     W  j  I  1 1  |  1 1    l||.'    p.'lsl 

l.'W       \  I'.'ll    -      I   lial      I  111'       \   ir^jn    s;|  yiil,     |:|,    ,.    ;||   ,.     I   ,.;|||\     ;|;|,|     ||.|||\       ]   |  |  ,,,,.',.;  | 

I  llhrs." 

■|iif:  |iiii;nn  Tkiium.  "  Thn  pn  imiii'iil  ri-,|.|i'i  wh..  >iarls  |..ir;i,l 
I  III'  I I-.  stall  lis  ill  ilaimiT  111  liriiiu'  '  .m\  iim  ''I  In  spiir  ,a  hiinsi  M.' 

liii,  I  'iiMiMi  l.ii  I  .  Iii'i  I  nil .  "Till'  I  "ri  111!"-  .Ill'  lull  III  1, 1 1  I'll' si  ami 
u  ill  In 'III  I  III'  al  I  I'll!  i  nil  n|  I  In    I'l'inliT  II  -liii  lii'si  in  l.'isi," 

l!i  \  .    \.  .1.   II  V  i:  1 1  I  N ,  I'll  si  IS  I, Till  1 1  MiiiisiiT.     jii'.'ir  sir,  "l  i  haiiK  smi 

Inr  \nl|r  splmnliil  S\nrk.  \.ill  llli  >■  Illl'nW  n  ,'l  llnml  n|  lr_;lil  nil  iiiaiiv 
llllSi'liri'   ji;  il|l||.i'll"i  nl    l|nl\    '.V  III 

I'lim  ,    l»\v,   I'liiil  ian,  MISS.      "IwmiM    imi    p.'i  ii  w  M  h  \  mir  Imh  ik    "   \ii- 

Uln  Israi'l  "  Im  mir  liiiinlii'il  ilnllai  s,  n  |  rmihl  mii  ^ri  ainii  litT." 
Ki  \ .  I!.   \  1. 1  III  I,,  I'lrshv  li'i'ian   Minisim,  W  liHi   (  i  i  v ,  KaiiMis.     "1  liki^ 

Villi  1'  I II  ink   r\  IT  sn   llllli'li.       .''I'llil    llli'  ,'l  mil  lli'l    rnp^  .    " 


^■r?: 


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y'y 


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:  •■  ■•   ■"■       ;■     i  ■■■  tr    -'!,•■•      ,.<■■,'    ,'.„     .      ■    .  .'!■■/:■ 

.'■'■'"J'  'v'-i'(}*^f'''*T'' 


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